disclaimer:sara-mine no one else
Sara woke up feeling better rested than she had in three years. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was past nine. For a moment she panicked, till she remembered that it was there was no school. Her senses suddenly lifted as she smelled something yummy. She hopped out of bed and pulled her favorite Notre Dame sweatshirt, a gift from the president on her sixteenth birthday, over her halter pj top. She went out to the kitchen and was surprised to find her father cooking breakfast.
"Morning," he said when he saw her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him.
"Cooking breakfast." Sara hopped onto a stool and peered over the counter.
"Strawberry French Toast. My favorite. Grandma used to make it for me all the time"
"I know, she told me. She gave me the recipe when you moved in"
"Don't you have an important meeting today?"
"I had Donna clear my schedule," he said.
"Dad..." Sara sighed rubbing her eyes.
"We need to talk about what's going on with you honey." Sara ran her hands through her hair.
"What about the President? You've got the thing"
"The president has three daughters, I think he'll understand. Eat." He placed a plate in front of her along with a glass of milk. She tried to eat, just to please him, but she had no appetite. Josh was watching her, and for the first time he was actually seeing her. She'd lost weight, her eyes looked dead and souless, her skin looked like it was just hanging on her bones.
"Not hungry?" he asked her. She shook her head. He came around the counter and took her hand. He led her over to the couch and made her sit down.
"How long, sweetie?" Sara didn't play dumb.
"You remember that day about two months after you came home from the hospital? I came home from school with my hand all bandaged."
"You told me a beaker got smashed in your chemistry class"
"What I didn't tell you was that the reason it shattered was because some kids were goofing off in the back of the class. They put a flammable chemical too close to a bunsen burner. I heard a loud bang, looked down and my hand was full of broken glass and there was blood all over the place. I didn't even remember squeezing it"
"I started having nightmares. I would see you lying on the pavement, bleeding to death. I'd try to get to you, to help you but I can't move. I stand there and watch you die and I can't stop it. I can't save you"
"Is that when you started sleeping in my office?" She nodded.
"I didn't feel safe at home anymore. I was standing three feet from the most powerful man in the world when I got shot at"
"But you weren't safe," Josh said remembering what she'd said to Stanley the night before."You had to take care of yourself. And Charlie"
"I'm used to it," she said. "When I was in Brooklyn I took care of myself almost everyday. Mom was working all the time, I was alone alot"
"You were only a child," Josh said in disbelief.
"Don't start thinking that Mom neglected me, because she didn't. We just weren't emotionally close. We did things together"
"But you didn't talk?"
"Not about this kind of stuff"
"What would your mom have done when Roger Taylor broke up with you?"
"Told me to get over it," Sara stated.
"Well I'm not your mom. I need you to talk to me honey. I need to know how deep into the hole you've fallen. I need you to tell me everything." Sara sighed.
"Rosslyn wasn't the first time I've been shot at," she said. "In my old neighborhood there was always some gang, or bunch of drug dealers popping shots off. You learn very early not to go near the windows. When I saw those skinheads, I hit the ground. I was rattled but nothing I didn't remember from when I was a kid. But this time was different"
"You weren't in Brooklyn anymore," Josh guessed.
"Yes. I was with the President of the United States. CJ said it in her briefing, the PResident was shot at while guarded by the best trained guard in the world. The President was shot. You were shot..." her voice shook. "When I saw you...I felt like something died inside me. We don't need the death penalty. If you really want to punish someone, make them wait fourteen hours to find out if the most important person in thier life is going to live or die. That's what real torture is. Then Donna told me that you were gonna be okay. It was like being granted a reprieve from hell. After you came home I was determined to do whatever it took to help you get better. Then that thing in chem class happened and all of a sudden I feel like I'm dangling from a cliff by a rope that's slowly starting to fray. Suddenly I'm getting nightmares, jumping out of my skin everytime I hear a twig snap, throwing up everything I eat. I don't feel safe in my own home. But I can't tell you that. You needed me to keep it together. You needed someone to take care of you. And then you changed. You were moody, snarling at everybody, and you said things...I knew there was something wrong so I had to put my own problems aside. One of us had to be the strong one"
"God Sara, I'm so sorry. You never should have had to go through this alone"
"I didn't want to be any trouble. I thought that if I became to much too deal with, you'd send me back to Connecticut"
"I never would have sent you back. I know that I did things and said things that hurt people. I was in a real bad place and I didn't even realize what was going on. But I got better. I'm strong now Sara. Let me help you. Let me help you like you helped me. I'm strong enough for both of us now. Let me help you carry this. Tell me what you need Sara"
"I just need you," Sara said throwing her arms around him.
"You've got me kiddo. Whether you like it or not."