Nosgoth is corrupted as long as I stand idle.
Everyday I am faced with that reality. It's why I'm always moving toward the future. It's not something I am completely accustomed to, either. I remember the first time I was told to make that decision that would make or break Nosgoth, I was knocked right off my feet, but my condescending decision forced me to keep my cool, so to speak, in those dire times. And I'm afraid that these times are just as dire, if not more, as they were then.
However, they are not completely without respite. Sometimes while pursuing destiny I would take trips down memory lane, with the humans (oddly enough) as my prompts, bringing me back from the precipice of madness and towards the merry yesterdays of being ruler of the land. There was a time where I was brought back centuries to a drama that my first born's clan was holding. Raziel's clan was very well known for their love of the arts, so it made sense that they were doing something theatrical.
I remember one Razielim snagging my attention. She was a servant for my son, a personal gift... Eventually she would become of Raziel's favorites, and I could see why – besides being one of the harder working of his clan she was also one of those vampires whose appearances stood out from the rest. The natural brunette coloration of her hair, small flecks of the same shade in her eyes, and the attitude - they never disappeared even as she started her life as a vampire...
But I digress.
She was as into the arts as any other Razielim and had jumped at every opportunity to get a chance to appear in the show, be it for a major part or as one of the extras they needed for the last minute adjustments. Usually she would ace her part, every line passing though her tongue as if she was the person she was playing. In this certain production, however, I could tell something was wrong towards the end... the click clack of her heels as she reintroduced herself to the rest of the cast - and, by default, to the audience - was unsure, the drop in confidence only noticeable, apparently, to me as she and her companion went up to the stage. I sensed nervousness; I noticed a slight uncertainty in her eyes as she began to speak again. I could tell that he was about to give her the prompt, and then almost immediately she jumped right back in and resumed as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. She was not one of Raziel's kin anymore at that moment, but a pretty little thing who had lead a great string of deception, hiding murder and guilt under a surprisingly fragile veil of innocence and naiveté, the final soldier of an army of deceit until there were no more. She would lead that part all the way until the final curtain.
Looking back at that scene, I now realize that I am in the same situation as she was, not once, but twice. I had abandoned the role of Balance Guardian and delved into the part as emperor for but only a thousand year's worth of moments, the dying land making me realize how important my permanent fixation was shortly after. I had once again abandoned that title through the release of death, only to be revived again and sent to the inner chamber to battle the puppeteer, the false god behind the corruption of the land. I knew then how similar we were, she and I. It was as if I was stuck in a theatrical – I was the Scion of Balance; I had no other role and I realized this only one moment short of late. I had skipped lines and forgotten them, only to be prompted by subliminal actions to resume my part until the end.
If there were any.
The difference between that girl and I was that at least she could leave her part to pursue something else. I, however, could not. As long as I stand idle, Nosgoth will go into decay. The so-called deity had only been defeated in my hands, not destroyed. I must travel to a more vulnerable time, a time when he lacked the efficient sources to gather up any kind of food… I must go back to my time.
And I will go back, indeed, to pursue my destiny, fulfill my role. This was not just any other drama… I could never change roles. This would be my destiny, forever and always.
But I accept it. I am Kain, I am a vampire… I am the Scion of Balance; I am the one to play that part all the way until the final curtain. And when that time comes, the wrongs of the land will ultimately be set right again. Nosgoth is corrupted as long as I stand idle. Such is that of my drama. So it shall be until my final curtain.
Now… let us break a leg or two.
A/N - Characters © Eidos/Crystal Dynamics/Square Enix. Well, maybe except for that one chick in this story, but that's about it.