Disclaimer: Animorphs belongs to K.A.Applegate, and I'm not making any money off this. So please don't sue me. You wouldn't get very much. Rated PG for very mild swearing. Be kind, this is my first fanfic!
It's over. It's finally over.
He can't hurt me anymore.
All the bullying, all the fights, not knowing if I'm him or he's me,
Over.
They don't know.
They don't know David and I know each other.
More than know each other.
They don't know that we're family.
That we're twins.
Were.
That we were twins.
That he controlled me, from the time that we were born to the time that he got adopted,
Adopted by the family who could only take one of us,
And wanted the one who smiled, and laughed.
The one with the normal, friendly dark brown eyes and golden hair that was always in order.
Not the one with the eerie, sad violet-blue eyes and dirty blond hair that was always messed up.
The one who was athletic, and outgoing.
Not the one who drew, and made up stories with plots more sophisticated than any normal 9-year old's simple make-believe.
They wanted the perfect one.
Well, now how perfect is he?
Not perfect at all.
Or maybe he was.
Maybe that's why I listened to him,
Did what he told me,
No matter what it was.
Like the night before the __________ made their final desion.
I remember that night.
I remember.
I remember how David told me to make sure that the __________ would adopt him, and not me.
He said that I'd better do what he told me,
And I did.
I did, David.
I wouldn't talk to them, or look at them except when they made me.
I acted like you told me.
And it worked.
They adopted you instead of me.
You got the best,
Just like you always did.
And you got it because I was afraid of you.
Afraid of what would happen to me if I didn't do what you told me.
I was so used to doing what you told me, that I made sure the ___________ would adopt you instead of me,
Even though I liked them,
And wanted them as a family.
But no, I was afraid.
I was too used to being you're slave, that I let them adopt you instead of me,
That I didn't even think about defying you.
A slave.
That's what I was.
A slave to my twin brother.
A slave to a person that knew my thoughts, my mind, and used me mercilessly.
A slave to you.
Not any more.
Did you recognize me, David?
When you first heard my thought speak,
Did you know who I was?
That it was me,
Tobias?
I'd like to think that you didn't,
That you didn't try to kill me.
But I know you better.
You knew when you heard me who I was,
You just didn't say anything.
Not the right time.
You would only use that information to hurt me,
Or in a plot to turn the other Animorphs against me.
To win.
But you haven't, have you David?
You haven't won.
I did.
I did, David.
I won.
And you're a rat.
I'm a hawk, but you're a rat,
And I can eat you,
Eat my personal demon.
So why haven't I?
Why haven't I destroyed the only person who can destroy my happiness?
Maybe it's because I'm too kind,
Too weak.
Maybe.
That would be the reason the old Tobias would have.
He would have had mercy on someone who never had mercy on him.
Is that it?
Am I showing you mercy?
Or am I still afraid of you?
Afraid that if I kill you, I'll be punished?
Is that it?
Am I still you're slave?
If,
One night, you tell me to do something,
Will I still do it?
Will I still be so afraid of you, and what might happen if I don't do what you say, that I'll obey you?
Will I?
Even if you tell me to kill Rachel,
And our uncle,
Ax?
Will I?
Have I really trimuphed?
Or am I just in a new hell?
Am I strong enough to face you again?
I'd like to think I am.
But I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore, David.
Am I really, finally free?
Or am I still you're slave?
Can you still bully me?
Can you still hurt me?
You shouldn't be able to hurt me.
You can't hurt me.
David can't hurt me.
So why am I still afraid?