TITLE: Soul Searching
AUTHOR: Mystic25
EMAIL: yellowrubberduck31@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: When Max went into the confessional with Father Destry in Pollo Loco, what did she say?
DISCLAIMER: Mr. Cameron owns the characters and the church; the song is by Blessed Union of Souls
A/N: This is another one of my "I had this idea so I wrote this in about two hours" stories, hope you like.
*****
OUR LADY OF THE SACRED HEART CHURCH
The tiny window shutter of the confessional was drawn back
"It's me"
A kindly smile "You're not suppose to tell me that"
"Oh" a pause from Max as she tried to understand "So how does this bitch work?"
Father Destry didn't call her on her harsh language, he was only there to listen "There are no set rules, just tell how you feel"
/Easier said then done Father, if I said I feel like a worthless blood thirsty killer would you still listen to me, or have me placed in a nut house on suicide watch?/
"I just killed my brother with my bare hands" her mocha eyes stared at the young priest through the window of the confessional "How should I feel?"
Destry took a moment to absorb the information she just gave him, seeing a deep pain in the eyes of someone so young, a pain beyond her years. "You tell me"
His remark caught Max a little off guard "I can't forgive myself" she did a slight subject change, casting her eyes to the floor, not wanting to look this holy man in the eye "Forgiving my actions doesn't make Ben any less dead"
"Did you believe what you were doing was just?" Destry's remark was not meant to antagonize, but it still did.
"I don't know" Max's eyes went lower to the floor, not wanting to see persecution in the eyes of another man today. "There were-" pause "something bad was going to happen to him if I-" she couldn't even dare to finish it, to explain in a few words the feeling of snapping your own brother's vertebra with your bare hand, hearing the "pop" and holding him limp in your arms, telling him you loved him, but knowing he would never hear it.
"He was in a bad place" Destry finished for her in an analyzation "His faith in Our Lady-" he broke off for a moment "He had many inner demons-" here he broke off to look at Max's face visible through the small window, seeing such a lost look in her eyes "You only wanted to help him slay them"
"But I hurt him Father" Max's voice cracked slightly, a tiny change, but one that was changed the mood "I did it in the worst possible way-" a small sob forced it's way through her throat, one that she bit back at the last minute, making the end result almost unbearably sad "How the hell can I possibly forgive that?"
"The forgiveness of our Father is limitless" Destry stated "He has already forgiven you for your sins, as he has forgiven your brother. Because He knows as humans we are flawed." A quiet pause "He knows how much you must have loved your brother. I know it-" he looked up at her "I can see it in your eyes."
A single tear broke down Max's face then "Guess my love wasn't strong enough to save him when it counted"
"You can't turn off love" Destry gently argued, "Even if you can't see it, it will always be there-"
"Even in the form of me breaking his neck" Max snapped back hard to herself
"Killing is a sin" Destry agreed, trying not to sound too harsh, because he was taking this somewhere "But it is a worse sin still to watch a soul go through his hell without doing whatever must be done to save him. Whatever that may be" He looked Max full in the face "You loved him didn't you?"
"Yeah" Max's words became chocked so she had to take a second "I loved him, so much" two tears splashed onto the wood of the bench seat she was sitting on.
"Then you must allow yourself some peace" Destry went on "You will never forget, you mustn't forget, but peace will set your soul free, let you grieve the way you should."
"Will I see him in the Good Place?" her voice, the strength of a woman, but asking in the way of a lonely child, wanting so desperately to not be told what they believe is wrong, that she wouldn't go to the Dark Place for killing one of her own.
Destry nodded to her slightly "You will"
A few moments later the curtain to the confessional was drawn back. Max took a moment to wipe the moisture from her eyes.
Father Destry placed a soft hand on her shoulder "God be with you my child"
Max offered him a quiet sad smile in return, turning and walking slowly out of the church.
Destry watched her go. The dozens of problems he counseled in his congregation did not even equal the haunting sadness that that beautiful young woman just left here with, and he hoped his work to listen helped lessen some of the pain. /Yes God, please be with her/
/"Tell me about the Good Place"/ Max stood outside the church. A deep shuttering breath came from her. Slowly, slowly, she slid onto her knees, an emotional damn breaking. /"You loved him very much"/ Her breath was visible in the cold air
A lone figure watched from across the street, drawing closer, finally reaching her crouching form, a wounded soul wanting so badly not to be lost anymore.
"Max" a hand touched her, soft blue eyes pressed into concern
She looked up, to someone she would normally be glad to see, but now she was afraid of what lay behind those ice blue eyes, what new questions were forming there, how much more of a monster he thought she was.
"I just wanted it to stop" a single statement amidst a steady flowing of crystal tears from one with a broken past.
He looked at her, seeing such pain in her eyes. He touched her face with his hand, knowing that no words would take away the cruel label he suddenly found himself placing on her. Nothing could be said to erase it, he would have to show her-at least as best as he could.
"I know" he crept towards her, pulling her into a gentle hug, waiting to see her reaction, then feeling her respond back, seeking an outlet for her emotions.
*Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and the open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart*
"I know" Logan repeated again, quieter this time, holding her as she cried, "He was your brother"
*Cause I believe, that love is the answer
I believe, that love will find away
I believe, that love is the answer
I believe, that love will find away*
(fade to black)
*****
I watched the "American Idol" results show, and kinda got teary eyed, then someone's fanfic gave me an idea for this so here's what happened because of it.
R/R please..Choices 14 is coming...I haven't forgotten it.
AUTHOR: Mystic25
EMAIL: yellowrubberduck31@hotmail.com
SUMMARY: When Max went into the confessional with Father Destry in Pollo Loco, what did she say?
DISCLAIMER: Mr. Cameron owns the characters and the church; the song is by Blessed Union of Souls
A/N: This is another one of my "I had this idea so I wrote this in about two hours" stories, hope you like.
*****
OUR LADY OF THE SACRED HEART CHURCH
The tiny window shutter of the confessional was drawn back
"It's me"
A kindly smile "You're not suppose to tell me that"
"Oh" a pause from Max as she tried to understand "So how does this bitch work?"
Father Destry didn't call her on her harsh language, he was only there to listen "There are no set rules, just tell how you feel"
/Easier said then done Father, if I said I feel like a worthless blood thirsty killer would you still listen to me, or have me placed in a nut house on suicide watch?/
"I just killed my brother with my bare hands" her mocha eyes stared at the young priest through the window of the confessional "How should I feel?"
Destry took a moment to absorb the information she just gave him, seeing a deep pain in the eyes of someone so young, a pain beyond her years. "You tell me"
His remark caught Max a little off guard "I can't forgive myself" she did a slight subject change, casting her eyes to the floor, not wanting to look this holy man in the eye "Forgiving my actions doesn't make Ben any less dead"
"Did you believe what you were doing was just?" Destry's remark was not meant to antagonize, but it still did.
"I don't know" Max's eyes went lower to the floor, not wanting to see persecution in the eyes of another man today. "There were-" pause "something bad was going to happen to him if I-" she couldn't even dare to finish it, to explain in a few words the feeling of snapping your own brother's vertebra with your bare hand, hearing the "pop" and holding him limp in your arms, telling him you loved him, but knowing he would never hear it.
"He was in a bad place" Destry finished for her in an analyzation "His faith in Our Lady-" he broke off for a moment "He had many inner demons-" here he broke off to look at Max's face visible through the small window, seeing such a lost look in her eyes "You only wanted to help him slay them"
"But I hurt him Father" Max's voice cracked slightly, a tiny change, but one that was changed the mood "I did it in the worst possible way-" a small sob forced it's way through her throat, one that she bit back at the last minute, making the end result almost unbearably sad "How the hell can I possibly forgive that?"
"The forgiveness of our Father is limitless" Destry stated "He has already forgiven you for your sins, as he has forgiven your brother. Because He knows as humans we are flawed." A quiet pause "He knows how much you must have loved your brother. I know it-" he looked up at her "I can see it in your eyes."
A single tear broke down Max's face then "Guess my love wasn't strong enough to save him when it counted"
"You can't turn off love" Destry gently argued, "Even if you can't see it, it will always be there-"
"Even in the form of me breaking his neck" Max snapped back hard to herself
"Killing is a sin" Destry agreed, trying not to sound too harsh, because he was taking this somewhere "But it is a worse sin still to watch a soul go through his hell without doing whatever must be done to save him. Whatever that may be" He looked Max full in the face "You loved him didn't you?"
"Yeah" Max's words became chocked so she had to take a second "I loved him, so much" two tears splashed onto the wood of the bench seat she was sitting on.
"Then you must allow yourself some peace" Destry went on "You will never forget, you mustn't forget, but peace will set your soul free, let you grieve the way you should."
"Will I see him in the Good Place?" her voice, the strength of a woman, but asking in the way of a lonely child, wanting so desperately to not be told what they believe is wrong, that she wouldn't go to the Dark Place for killing one of her own.
Destry nodded to her slightly "You will"
A few moments later the curtain to the confessional was drawn back. Max took a moment to wipe the moisture from her eyes.
Father Destry placed a soft hand on her shoulder "God be with you my child"
Max offered him a quiet sad smile in return, turning and walking slowly out of the church.
Destry watched her go. The dozens of problems he counseled in his congregation did not even equal the haunting sadness that that beautiful young woman just left here with, and he hoped his work to listen helped lessen some of the pain. /Yes God, please be with her/
/"Tell me about the Good Place"/ Max stood outside the church. A deep shuttering breath came from her. Slowly, slowly, she slid onto her knees, an emotional damn breaking. /"You loved him very much"/ Her breath was visible in the cold air
A lone figure watched from across the street, drawing closer, finally reaching her crouching form, a wounded soul wanting so badly not to be lost anymore.
"Max" a hand touched her, soft blue eyes pressed into concern
She looked up, to someone she would normally be glad to see, but now she was afraid of what lay behind those ice blue eyes, what new questions were forming there, how much more of a monster he thought she was.
"I just wanted it to stop" a single statement amidst a steady flowing of crystal tears from one with a broken past.
He looked at her, seeing such pain in her eyes. He touched her face with his hand, knowing that no words would take away the cruel label he suddenly found himself placing on her. Nothing could be said to erase it, he would have to show her-at least as best as he could.
"I know" he crept towards her, pulling her into a gentle hug, waiting to see her reaction, then feeling her respond back, seeking an outlet for her emotions.
*Walk blindly to the light and reach out for His hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and the open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart*
"I know" Logan repeated again, quieter this time, holding her as she cried, "He was your brother"
*Cause I believe, that love is the answer
I believe, that love will find away
I believe, that love is the answer
I believe, that love will find away*
(fade to black)
*****
I watched the "American Idol" results show, and kinda got teary eyed, then someone's fanfic gave me an idea for this so here's what happened because of it.
R/R please..Choices 14 is coming...I haven't forgotten it.