Shocked beyond human comprehension. Stunned into complete and utter silence. The Rukia Kuchiki cannot find a witty response to this one little dare. I have five months to steal Ichigo Kurosaki's most embarrassing pair of boxers and hang it on Seireitei High's flagpole. It's not the fact that I can't do it; I could be remarkably ninja-like when I wanted to be, so sneaking into the aforementioned Kurosaki's house would be no problem. Problems arose when I considered the fact that I had no inkling of where the man lived. Added to the fact that I had absolutely no clue of where he kept his boxers, let alone his most embarrassing pair, it made mission impossible.
For stealing one measly pair of boxers, and possibly seducing the heartthrob of the school, I'd get the ultimate bragging rights and all the cash that Rangiku, Orihime, Tatsuki, Nanao, Nemu, and Momo had scraped together. It was a considerable amount. Losing meant that I'd have to hang my most embarrassing pair of panties on the flagpole. That is, if I chose to take the dare.
Let's see—the ultimate prize, the stakes of being labeled as both a whore and an idiot for loosing. Without thinking, I grabbed Rangiku's outstretched hand and sealed the deal. Tatsuki smirked sadistically and slapped a high five with Momo. Nanao gave me a pitying look and wished me good luck. Nemu seemed to think this was highly amusing, and despite being rather apathetic, she was giggling into her uniform's sleeve. Glaring at them all, I marched off proudly after the flash of orange hair.
It was only after I got on the bus that I realized what I was in for. My friends had dared me to humiliate the most popular guy in the school—no, the universe, and quite possibly, seduce him to do it. At least nothing had gone wrong yet, as the man hadn't yet noticed me boring a hole into his orange head.
Yet.
Maybe Rangiku would be better suited for the task, or even Tatsuki.
By the time I reached Ichigo Kurosaki's home, sweat was pouring the sides of my face. The Kurosakis' house was situated in a very nice location; there was a magnificent garden of crops, a barn in the back, and best of all, wild rabbits were hopping in and out of sight. A sparkling river tore through the forests in the backyard. Entranced, I stepped out from my hiding spot to said river.
My moment was ruined by a loud bark. Oh god. They had a security system. Didn't they know that possible seekers of Ichigo Kurosaki's most embarrassing pair of boxers might have an unreasonable phobia for all things canine? What was worse wasn't the large dog that bounded out of the barn—it was the long shadow that followed the wagging tail.
And then I found myself face to face with my victim-to-be.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
My very rude victim-to-be.
A/N: Yes, yes, another IchiRuki. We have no clue how this popped into our heads. All we knew is that readers of us seem to have a partiality for IchiRuki humor. So yes, this is for the poll on our profile. However, if enough votes get in, we'll do another one.
Parody Thingy:
Ichigo: For compensation, I demand you to translate my name into something cool in Chinese.
Pie and Demon-Pixie currently in translating corner. Please wait…
Pie: 一尺狗
Ichigo: Wow, almost sounds like my real name…
Demon-Pixie: *bursting with laughter* Actually…
Pie: 一 means one, 尺 means foot (as in the measurement), and 狗 means dog.
Ichigo:…
Demon-Pixie: So it literally translates to 'one foot dog'
Pie: I prefer to refer to it as one footed dog
Demon-Pixie: Mucho better than his last name: Kurosaki, other wise known as Kuro-black, saki-blossom.
Pie: One footed dogy black blossom.
Ichigo: THAT IS NOT WHAT MY LAST NAME MEANS! AND YOU GAVE THE WORST TRANSLATION EVER!
That ends it for today, bye! Please leave before the One Footed Dogy Black Blossom kills you in his rage.