Yukio Okumura held the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. There was a heartbreaking click. Another. A third. Again, again, again. Tears began to roll down his cheeks as his chest heaved with shuddering breaths. He had no bullets left. There was not going to be an easy way out for him. No, for Yukio Okumura there was only facing the consequences of his actions.

He dropped the useless weapon and held up his broken right hand. The fingers were crushed and deformed, the index and thumb mangled beyond recognition. With his good hand, he started to unbutton his blood covered shirt. It was dry and stiffened the material like starch. It crusted and rubbed off on his fingers. How much of it was his own? How much his brother's? And the demons? Whatever, it didn't matter, he just wanted it off him and away.

How much blood have you shed?

Yukio flinched and held his head. The voice pounded with an intensity that throbbed through his entire skull. A sharp pain stabbed the base of his head and he dropped to his knees.

"Please. No more." His broken fingers were on fire, burning with blue flame. He pressed the crippled hand to his chest. The fire didn't burn him, it spread across his chest like water.

Where is your heart, Exorcist?

Bright blue flames trickled over Yukio's shoulders and lapped around his waist. They consumed every inch of his body, sending a straining ache through his muscles. It didn't hurt like he wanted it to hurt. It felt good, familiar, and despite everything it tickled a smile across his lips.

Is this you, Exorcist?

"I am not..." Yukio closed his eyes and squeezed his crippled fingers. The red hot pain that streaked through him made him drop to the ground in a huddle. The fire dimmed and died completely. "I am no exorcist."

You've given up.

"I've earned it," Yukio whispered through the hurt.

"Yuki-chan!"

That voice tore more deeply into his heart than any blade could. She sounded afraid, tired, concerned for him. He stayed quiet, hidden behind some rubble that had once been True Cross Academy.

"Yuki-chan! Please!" There was such a deep sorrow in her voice, such a desperation, that Yukio trembled and wished once again he'd had enough bullets to finish the job. Light and timid footsteps crunched through broken glass near him and he could hear her murmurs.

"Please be alright. Please be okay. Please be alive. I'm scared. I have to be strong. I'm so scared." She raised her shaky voice again. "Yuki-chan!"

How many games of hide-and-seek had he won when they were children? He ducked his head and prayed that she'd overlook him again, now that he wanted it.

"Yuki-chan." Her breath of relief washed over him and he looked up. Shiemi was bloody and bruised. A large gash above her right eye was dribbling down the side of her face. Her shirt was torn and burned and there were razor thin cuts all along her arms and neck. When she raised a hand to him it was blue and yellow, swollen fingers.

"I'm so glad you're alright." Her voice was tight, choked with emotion. Tears fell down her face and onto him and she collapsed into him in a pained hug. "I was so afraid I'd lost you."

"Shiemi," he said her name slowly and was startled by how dry his voice sounded. "Are you...are you hurt?"

Shiemi sat back and wiped her eyes. She was smiling and it almost made her look like her usual self. "I'm fine."

"And Nii—uh, Rin?" Yukio accepted her hand and the two of them got to their feet.

"He's been unconscious for hours but whatever you did, it worked." She stared over his shoulder, fear returning to her eyes. "Mostly."

Yukio turned around and finally faced what he'd been hiding from. The gate of Gehenna, a gaping mouth suspended in the dark sky overhead the remains of True Cross. It was all his fault. All the people who were dead, all the destruction, all the pain, it was on him.

Shiemi squeezed his hand and he glanced down at her.

"I'm going to try very hard not to be scared, Yuki-chan," she said slowly. "You'll do the same won't you?"

Yukio untangled his fingers from hers and picked up his gun. "Of course," he said, unsure if he meant it.

"We need to get back to the others," Shiemi tiptoed over the rubble. "Come on."

He waited, watching as demons continued to pour from Gehenna into the world he'd thought he might be able to protect once. Yukio held up his gun, pointed it at the portal and pulled the trigger. The empty click rang in his ears. He tossed the gun aside and followed after Shiemi.

"This is all your fault." Bon threw another blow and it hit Yukio on the cheek, sending him spiraling backwards onto his broken hand. Against his best efforts, he cried out in pain.

"Bon, stop." Shima was standing aside, arms crossed. "There's no point to this."

"Hundreds of people are dead and more are dying," Bon screamed, at Shima and then Yukio. "Innocents. Students. Our friends, the people we are supposed to protect."

"I did the logical thing," Yukio lied, getting up against his better judgement. "Not what was right, but what saved the most lives. Compared to the whole world, a few dead students is not that great of a loss."

"Any loss of life is a failure! We're supposed to protect people, not sacrifice them, you monster!" Bon launched himself forward for another attack. Shima stepped between them and looked his friend dead in the eye.

"Enough. You're behaving like a child when we need to be men. Like you said, people are dead. We can't change that. We need to be thinking about our next course of action." Shima looked around the dorm room. Rin and Yukio's old building was one of the last standing structures and where the cram school students had taken up a semi-permanent residence. Shiemi had set up a nursing area in the dining room down the hall. She barely left, staying by Rin waiting for him to wake up.

Shima's eyes settled on Izumo who was sitting in a corner holding Paku's sweater. Tears were rolling down her face, but she was statue still. Miwa handed Yukio an ice pack.

"Renzou's right, Ryuji," Miwa said softly. "Fighting amongst ourselves doesn't help anything. We need to stay strong."

Bon flexed his hands and curled them into fists. "No. I can't just stand by and let his injustice stand. Not with what he did to Okumura, or to us. Shima your eye—"

"I'm fine." Shima's right eye was cloudy and though he refused to say anything it had been getting hazier. Soon he wouldn't be able to see out of it at all. "We've all suffered pain and lose, Bon. Even Yukio."

"You're going to defend him, then? Both of you?" Bon looked from Shima to Miwa and gave a bitter laugh. "So we're picking sides then?"

"Bon, please don't do this," Shima pleaded.

"Ryuji is right," Miwa said. Shima turned on him.

"What?"

"I respect what Yukio chose to do, but I can't condone it. It's just not right, Renzuo." Miwa patted his friend affectionately on the arm. "And I will always choose my family and Kyoto over anything else."

Yukio stood quietly, holding the ice pack to his hand. He tried to preoccupy his mind with how he was going to set the bones and whether he could talk Shiemi through it. Still he could feel Bon's eyes on him.

"Alright, I'm leaving." Bon pulled on his jacket, cringing as he flexed his previously dislocated shoulder.

"What? Where?" Shima stared in disbelief. This wasn't fair, he couldn't choose between his friends, not when they were like family to him.

"Home, to Kyoto. They're going to need help and I need to know if my mother and father..." Bon cleared his throat. "I need to make sure."

"I'm going too," Miwa said. Bon gave him an approving nod.

"You can't just leave," Shima said, his chest burning. Panic was surging through him and it was only accented as his right eye faded further into darkness.

"I can't stay here with him, either," Bon said, jerking his thumb in Yukio's direction. "Sorry. Take care of yourself, Renzuo."

"Wait." Everyone turned to look at Izumo. She used the wall to help herself stand, still clutching Paku's sweater to her chest. "I'm going to go with you."

"Izumo," Shima's voice was broken.

She didn't look at anyone. Instead she carefully pulled the sweater on and did it up slowly, pulling her hair out of her collar. "I refuse to fight alongside a monster. Okumura was different...Rin, he was still human, despite everything." She turned her cold, dry eyes on Yukio. "You, you're not human. Not in the slightest."

Bon clapped a hand on Shima's shoulder. "You're staying then?"

Shima shrugged his hand off and nodded. Miwa shook his hand before following Bon out of the room and Izumo stopped in front of Shima. She gave him a hug and whispered in his ear as Yukio stood awkwardly aside. Whatever she said made Shima turn bright red. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and said a final goodbye.

This is what you've done, Exorcist.

Yukio watched them leave, wishing there was something he could do or say but they weren't wrong. He had no innocence to argue for.

"We'll defeat the demons and close the gate," Shima said when they were finally alone. "And then we'll be a family again. Does that sound like a plan?"

He looked at Yukio, not with hope but ambition.

What are you to do, Exorcist?

"Of course. We'll defeat the demons, for our family." Yukio thought of Shiemi and Rin. Everything he did was for his brother, for the people he loved, but it always hurt them. If this was to be his penance then he would serve for his sins.

Where is your heart, Exorcist? Shiro's voice interrupted Yukio's thoughts again.

He held his broken hand over his chest. He could feel his heart beat, and yet he felt anything but alive.