I hope she doesn't see the lipstick stain on the edge of the wine glass

Hope that she can't see it in my eyes

"So what did you get up to last night?" Emily asks when she finally arrives home at 10 o'clock the next morning. She looks like she hasn't slept and kind of stinks of cheap perfume and alcohol.

"Oh...nothing." I lie, hoping that I've remembered to remove all evidence that I had company last night. She raises her eyebrow at me suspiciously.

"Really?" She doesn't seem convinced but thankfully she's too hungover to press the issue. She moves into the kitchen, I follow her. My eyes do a quick sweep around the room, checking for a CD I don't normally listen to that's sitting out of place, one of those little notes she sometimes leaves behind or anything else I may have forgotten I have no idea how I could even begin to explain this to her. She fills herself a glass of water, pausing to examine the wine glass in the sink.

"You know Katie..." She turns slowly from the sink to look at me. My breath catches in my chest as I wait for her to finish her sentence. "You should get out more."

"Yeah?" I release a shaky breath and shrug. She walks by me, looking at me like I have 2 heads, and heads out the door. "Yeah!" I repeat to the empty kitchen when she's gone.

I hope she doesn't notice

I've come home late every night this week

Trying to keep it together

It's getting harder and harder each time to keep this hidden away

I'm running out of things to say

"I'm going out!" I shout up the stairs hoping to make it out the door before the questions start because my excuses are getting worse every day. I was always crap at lying. Especially to Emily.

"Again?" My sister calls from her room in a surprised tone that I find mildly offensive.

"Yeah." I reply impatiently. I only have the front door half opened when she appears at the top of the stairs. I groan internally; I was hoping for a quick getaway.

"This is the third night this week, you've been out." She points out, not that I need her to. When had she started keeping track of how many nights I go out? I never get on her back when she parties for days on end.

"Yeah...so?" I shrug, making it perfectly obvious I'm in a hurry to leave. I know she's just trying to be nice or a good sister or whatever but I want to get out of here before I left something slip.

"Nothing...nothing." She holds her hands up in surrender. "It's good that you're getting out. I'm glad."

"Well...Thanks." Her answer takes me by surprise; I had been expecting to get the third degree over where I was going and who I was going with. I guess rushing out the door is just a habit leftover from when we still lived with our parents.

"Have fun." She smiles and bounces back into her room. Her words only make me feel guilty when I leave. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I hope she doesn't notice

This look on my face from thinking about you

I find myself thinking about her constantly. I see flashes of blue every time I close my eyes. I imagine blonde hair spread over my pillowcase shining in the early morning sun. Hard as I try I get lost in these thoughts, smiling like an idiot when she's on my mind. It's like she's addictive. The curl of her lips when she smiles, the twinkle in her eye when she's playfully teasing me, how her teeth pull over her lower lip when she's thinking about kissing me; everything about her! I just can't get enough.

"Oi!" Emily yells at me. I quickly realise she's been talking to me for the better part of five minutes and I haven't heard a word of it.

"Uh...yeah." I nod, hoping she hasn't noticed. The glare she gives me tells me she has.

"Katie...what was I talking about?" She challenges.

"Eh...going out?" I hazard a guess.

"That was a lucky guess!" She shakes her head. "Honestly what's with you lately? It's like you're totally spaced out."

"Sorry." And I really am.

"If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were in love." She scoffs. I have to quickly hide the alarmed look on my face by rolling my eyes at her.

"Yeah right." I chuckle. She couldn't be right, could she? I wasn't actually in love with Naomi...was I?

And stories are getting harder for me to tell

And each time I try to take one step away

I find myself crashing back into you

"I can't keep lying to her!" I shout. I'm not actually angry at Naomi; I'm mad at myself for getting into this situation. My sister's ex-girlfriend. My twin sister's ex-girlfriend. No, my twin sister's first love actually, what the hell am I thinking? This can't work. It's crazy.

"What are you saying?" She asks, her voice sounds tight with worry.

"You know what I'm saying." I try not to let my voice betray my uncertainty. "This can't go on any more."

"Katie..." She begins to protest. I know I have to get away from her. The sound of her pleading voice is enough to make me want to move mountains or end world hunger or actually give a crap about those protests she goes to. I turn to walk away but not quick enough to miss the sad and confused look in her eyes.

I think I manage about 10 steps before turning on my heels and practically running back to her. When I reach her a jump up on my tiptoes and crash my lips onto hers. It hurts a little but the second she starts kissing me back I can no longer feel the pain. My hands reach up to cup her face. Her hands wrap around me so tightly, like she's never going to let go. I don't want her to.

"I mean it though." I tell her when we finally break the kiss. "I can't keep lying to her."

I can't sleep from thinking about you

And I can't tell lies from the truth

It's like my mind's been rendered completely incapable of thoughts that don't involve Naomi fucking Campbell. It's verging on ridiculous really. When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night I see her ice blue irises staring back at me. When I wake up in the morning I swear I see a flash of blonde lying beside me; wishful thinking really. Emily definitely knows by now that there's something going on but she hasn't called me on it yet, thank fuck! That's a conversation I want to continue putting off.

"Do you fancy going to that new Chinese restaurant in town?" She asks me randomly one day. "We haven't hung out together in ages."

"Yeah." I agree. It will be nice to spend some time with my sister. "It's proper nice there too."

"When were you there?" Her brow furrows.

"Last week." I answer innocently then realise I probably lied to her about going there because I went with Naomi. That's one of my biggest problems these days; I tell so many lies I just can't keep track of them. "Didn't I tell you?"

"No." She shakes her head and sticks out her lower lip. "Who were you there with?"

"Oh...just a friend from college." I lie. Well technically it's not a lie, Naomi is a friend I met in college, and it's not my fault that Emily assumes I'm talking about someone from uni.

"Kind of a nice place to go with someone from college." She muses. I can see the cogs turn behind her eyes but again she doesn't take it any further.

"Shouldn't you go get change then if it's such a nice place?" I raise an eyebrow at her and look her outfit up and down. She's wearing tracksuit bottoms and a vest; hardly suitable for dinner in a nice restaurant. She rolls her eyes and me and heads off to get ready. I sigh heavily while fixing my makeup. It seems these days my life is all about lies.

And I can't hide you like this for very much longer

And I don't know which way to run

And I feel myself coming undone

I catch myself just staring at her one night when we're lying in her bed. I'm mesmerised by the steady rise and fall of her chest as she lingers on the brink of consciousness, somewhere between being awake and falling asleep. I wonder what wicked twist of fate brought us to this point; the point where I've fallen in love with my sister's ex girlfriend, a girl who not too long ago I put quite a lot of effort into hating. It's not like she's changed that much since then. Not really. She's still sarcastic and kind of patronising. She still bangs on about politics like it's actually important or something. I still haven't had the heart to tell I'm not entirely sure what the Prime Minister actually does. Mostly because I'm afraid she'll try and explain it to me. Her fashion sense has improved but only very slightly. And only after a solid month of me nagging at her to at least flick through Cosmo or Heat in between those massive broadsheets she's so fond of reading.

Something must have changed though because I've actually started to love all those things about her. I find it amazing that she actually gives a shit about things. She's so passionate when she talks about politics or charities or whatever; it really turns me on. Sometimes I actually wish I knew what she was talking about. Honestly I'm tempted to join one of her causes. That's not the worst part though.

The worst part was the moment I realised I was too far gone to stop myself from falling in love with her, the moment I realised it was too late to save myself. I was having a very pleasant and productive shopping trip when I passed this patterned abomination hanging up in Top Shop. I actually smiled when I saw it, despite almost being blinded by the vulgarity of it. It made me think of her. I ended up buying the damn thing and giving it to her as a present. She fucking loves it too and wears it all the time.

I start wondering if Emily would really be that upset about me dating Naomi. It was her decision to end the relationship after all and it's not like she misses the blonde. She hardly ever thinks of her actually. And they're on decent terms with each other. I mean they make small talk if they see each other out. At the same time though, I'm shagging my sister's first love, so maybe she might care a little bit. It's not just that I'm shagging her though, not anymore. I actually quite enjoy spending time with her when we're not shagging too. I fucking love her actually. Shit, I love Naomi Campbell! And I don't want to have to hide it from the world anymore. She deserves better than being my dirty little secret. I want people to know that the beautiful blonde is all mine. I want to be able to go out in public with her and kiss her on the cheek just because I feel like it. I want to introduce my sister to my girlfriend and have her be happy for me. That's when I know I have to tell Emily. It's not fair lying to her. I resolve to tell her, soon, but for now I'm just content to lie beside this amazing woman.

And I don't know how much longer I can keep it

My little secret

"Emily...There's something I have to tell you." I just come out with it the next day when she arrives home from work.

She looks at me expectantly.

I take a deep breath.

"I'm in love with Naomi."