For today's entry, I did a fic (loosely) based on the movie Bridget Jones' Diary. I hope you enjoy this take on it! Please leave a review and let me know what you think. :)
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Her dating life has always been the same as long as she can remember. Either non-existent or boring dates with the wrong guys. No one has ever struck her fancy, never made her feel those goosebumps or butterflies that she expects will happen when she's with someone she likes.
Dear Diary,
Today was another day with no luck. Jefferson took me out. Again. I figured I had nothing better to do than to entertain him for a second date. Belle told me to give him a chance - maybe he'd be different this time - but, of course, that wasn't the case.
She writes in her journal, chronicling all the bad experiences she's had.
The guy with bad breath - It smelled as if he'd eaten a bag of rotten onions before meeting me for dinner.
The man who still lived for his youth - He showed up in his fraternity t-shirt. He graduated ten years ago. All he did was watch the football game on TV and talk about his party days. No thanks.
Even the guy who seemed nice enough before she agreed to the date, but ended up being an asshole - He asked me what I did, and when I told him I ran a horse ranch that taught classes to children, he laughed. Laughed. In my face. Told me that wasn't a real job, that it sounded like something a college kid spent her summer break doing. Fucking asshole.
So to say she's given up on dating is an understatement. Regina Mills sighs, flipping her journal closed. No sense in reading through her past mistakes - she remembers each one perfectly clearly anyway. It's like a movie on constant replay, taunting her thoughts and toying with her emotions.
There'd been Daniel, however. He was a wonderful and respectful man, always treated her nicely, and made her feel listened to. They went out for a few months, and she believed he was the one, even after only seven months of dating. On their last date, Regina wholeheartedly thought Daniel was going to propose, or ask her to move in, or… something big. Something grand.
As luck would have it though, he ended up breaking things off with her, effectively crushing her heart in the process. He said he wanted more out of life than staying here in Storybrooke, wanted to expand his business and move to Los Angeles, but he knew he couldn't do that with her by his side. As if she were an anchor weighing him down. Typical.
So she'd spent the next few weeks after that sulking - eating Ben and Jerry's, watching every romantic movie she could think of to help her wallow in self pity, and furiously journaling away about the man she thought was the one.
After a few weeks of solitude, however, Belle had come over, dragging her out of bed and into a shower. When she'd emerged from the hot shower, refreshed and feeling as if she'd just come out of a month long bender, Belle had a nice pot of coffee waiting and words of wisdom to give. She could always count on her best friend to help her when needed.
Belle was the lucky one. She found her Mr. Right straight out of college. He was a professor, so it was a bit scandalous, especially seeing as Alec Gold was eighteen years older than her. But he loved Belle, more than anyone ever had in her entire life. The girls had grown up together, always daydreaming and planning their lives together - how they would go to college and be roommates, get married and have babies around the same time - their plan was perfect. Until Regina realized that she was broken, defective, and no man was good enough for her. Her standards were too high, her mother would tell her, but she didn't see anything wrong with wanting to find someone who understood her and made her feel a sense of peace in this crazy world.
As time (and dates) went on, however, she realized falling in love just wasn't in the cards for her, and that was okay. She just had to accept that.
It's been a year since Daniel left, and Regina still hasn't found another guy to treat her the way he had. Though, if she's being honest, when she thinks of what she wants a relationship to be like, even Daniel didn't completely measure up. She isn't sure anyone ever will. Maybe watching all those romantic movies as a child really messed her up - made her think she deserved what those women got.
"Are you coming to the Christmas party?" Belle asks, sitting down across from Regina at an old, worn booth at Granny's Diner. She has a mug of what Regina assumes is hot cocoa, and she's trailed by the waitress, Ruby, who is carrying two plates worth of breakfast.
Thanking the girl, she looks back over to Belle. "Of course. Mother would kill me if I didn't show up to the annual James Locksley Christmas Extravaganza," she declares, emphasizing the name Belle's father had given his Christmas parties when they were younger.
The auburn haired beauty giggles, rolling her eyes at Regina. "Dad has always been a tad dramatic."
Regina nods with a smile, and agrees, saying she wouldn't miss it for the world.
"I'm positive my mother will be trying to set me up with one of the friends your brother brings this year… or their fathers."
Belle laughs, nodding in agreement. Her brother, Robin, is two years older than them - just turned thirty-five last month - and always uses his father's shindig as an excuse to bring his latest dates and friends with him. He told her once that it was the only way he could survive the stiffness that was their parents and parents' friends. He had to have his mates around to make the night go by quicker, and she'd agreed, saying if she didn't have him and Belle, she wasn't sure she'd make it through either.
"I haven't heard him say who he's bringing this year," Belle tells her, taking a bite of her oatmeal, "so you might be in the clear."
They chuckle, taking a few beats of silence to eat their food. While munching, Regina thinks over the last year, of how Daniel left, and all the other terrible dates she's been on. She realizes that for the first time in years, she's okay being single. She likes the freedom, likes being able to go about her business and not worry about getting ready for a date with a guy she barely knows.
And that's it, she surmises. That's part of the problem with all these guys. They've never taken the time to get to know her before asking her out. Regina Mills is not an easy egg to crack, she's got layers and depth, a mother that has beaten her down growing up, making her think she had to be perfect for anyone to like her. She's complicated. And a bit messy. And all these men ever see is a pretty face and a killer body, never wanting to know the woman behind the façade.
"It'll be nice if Robin doesn't bring anyone," she says, sipping her coffee. "Might be fun for the three of us to just hang out like when we were kids."
Belle smiles, agreeing and saying that sounds fun. Alec is out of town at a summit, so it'll be like the old days. She rubs her barely there tummy and says, "One last hoorah before this little guy changes everything."
Regina grins, shaking her head. Belle really does have the perfect life. She's so happy for her, no matter how envious she might feel. Her friend deserves it. No one has ever been there for her like Belle has. When they were teenagers, and Regina's mother, Cora, was hounding in on her about the way she looked, or her grades, or how she was spending her extracurricular time, she'd escape to Belle's house. They'd curl up on the couch, watching movies with Robin (usually tossing popcorn at his head every time he made a dumb remark), and painting each others toenails, braiding their hair and planning their futures.
"You ready?" Belle asks, pulling her from her thoughts.
She nods and lays down the cash for her meal. Once Belle's tab is paid, the girls make their way from the diner and out into the cold winter day. They have the whole afternoon for just the two of them, so they spend it getting pedicures and shopping for dresses to wear to the Christmas party.
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Walking into the party the next week, Regina scans her eyes around the entrance way. The giant house is decorated top to bottom in oversized Christmas trees, white lights and any holiday decor you'd find at the nicest stores. James has gone all out, once again.
She smirks, hanging her coat up and making her way into the living room. She runs her hand down her sapphire dress. It's form fitted and has an asymmetrical neckline. The back dips down low but has a large, black bow tied at the top. She's paired it with sheer black tights and heels, and feels incredibly sexy in it. Not that she should for this occasion, but she feels nice in it, confident, and when she'd tried it on and Belle's jaw had dropped open, exclaiming, You have to wear that for the both of us!, she knew she couldn't pass it up. It's nice to feel extra pretty every now and then.
Regina spots Robin from across the room, and as his blue eyes meet hers, he lifts his glass in greeting. He's leaning against the fireplace, one arm resting on the mantle, but as soon as he turns in her direction, she has to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter from bubbling out amongst all the party goers. He's standing there in nice black slacks, but sporting a Christmas sweater adorned with a giant reindeer and snowflakes. He'd lost a bet against Belle at last year's soirée - she'd bet him that he couldn't go a whole night without having their Nana Grace give him a sloppy, bright red lipstick covered kiss, and if he couldn't, then he had to wear the tackiest Christmas sweater he owned to this year's party. Nana Grace is a sweet old lady, always been a tad crazy, and she always finds some way to corner Robin and smooch his cheeks all over. It's something they'd laugh about every year, always claiming Nana liked Robin best so therefore he had to endure her oversized bifocals and lipstick stained teeth. He'd tried his best to avoid her all last year, but he let his guard down while refilling Regina's wine glass in the kitchen and she had snuck up behind him, pointing up to the mistletoe hanging from the kitchen doorway.
He's sighed, bending down to let the old woman get her lipstick all over his cheeks before walking back to Regina and Belle who immediately started laughing and high fiving each other. Despite the tacky sweater, she can't help but notice how good he looks. She hasn't seen him in a few months, and the last time she did, he had his tongue down his girlfriend, Marian's, throat.
He had broken things off with the girl a few months after she and Daniel had ended their relationship, but she hasn't really had a chance to talk to him about it yet. Their lives are so busy these days - she's always at the stables working, either helping kids with their lessons or up in her office trying to crunch numbers and keep the paperwork up to date. Robin is a civil rights lawyer, always one who wanted to protect those who were discriminated against. He said he never wanted to fight for the people that could defend themselves, he wanted to help the less fortunate. She always admired him for that. It keeps him busy though, often causing him to work late and miss his monthly dinners with she and Belle.
She smiles over at him, her brown eyes lighting up as she lifts her brows and gestures toward his sweater, mouthing a Nice in his direction. It's nice to have a friendly face amongst all the older adults who have been coming here since she was a child. Everyone always wants to know the latest news with her love life - Have you met anyone yet? No kids? When are you going to get married? Found a better job? - and it's all she can do each year not to roll her eyes at her mother's friends.
Regina takes a step forward at the same time Robin does, but his steps falter when Cora comes to stand right in front of her, cutting off her path to him and taking her shoulders in her hands. "Regina, darling," she purrs, leaning in to kiss her on both cheeks. Regina locks gazes with Robin, both of them simultaneously rolling their eyes behind Cora's back with twin smirks planted on their faces. "You look ravishing."
"Thank you, Mother," she says, gritting her teeth as her moth spins her on her heels, dragging her to the next room, claiming she just has to talk to Ruth Nolan. She glances over her shoulder as they make their exit, pleading Robin with her eyes to save her. The bastard just chuckles and shakes his head, turning back to talk to a guest at the fireplace.
"Her son, David, is coming home from Europe any day now," Cora prattles, lifting her champagne glass in the air toward Ruth who is across the room. "You know he's been over there working for the past few years. Good money. Good looks. You should get in good with Ruth so she can introduce you to him."
Regina huffs to herself in annoyance, searching the new room for Belle. Where the hell is she? They never leave each other in these situations.
After an hour and a half of schmoozing with all the people Cora deems to have appropriate connections (people who have sons, a nephew, a cousin, some other family member that Regina could date, or someone with an ability to change her career), she's finally free, albeit annoyed. Her mother has never approved of Regina's choice in job - convinced that teaching children to ride horses is far below her worth - and she's always looking for ways to persuade Regina to switch careers. Cora's never understood the passion Regina shared with her father for the animals, one she knew she could never give up once he passed away. It makes her happy, and that's all her father ever encouraged her to be. Her work is, in part, a loving tribute to his memory.
She feels like she's been poked and prodded like cattle on display. Regina had caught Robin's gaze ten minutes ago, mutually rolling their eyes once again at Cora's antics. He'd smirked at her, jutting his head behind him toward the back porch and mouthing I'll be out there to her. She'd nodded, praying she could get away from her mother and out into the coolness of the evening with her friend.
Stepping outside, she pulls her black, leather jacket around her body and shivers. Breathing out a deep breath, she closes her eyes, letting the cold air calm her down.
"Found any prospects yet?" he jokes. Regina opens her eyes, immediately finding him propped against the porch's railing with a smug smile on his face. Those damn dimples fully on display.
Shaking her head, she dramatically sighs for good measure before making her way over to him. He slides off the railing, sinking onto the bench and pats the seat for her to join him.
"I've never felt more on display than I have at this year's party," she admits, shrugging. "Mother must be getting desperate."
They chuckle together, and Robin reaches behind him, grabbing two steaming mugs off the little wooden table that sits beside the bench. He hands one to her, and she wraps her chilled fingers around it, fingertips grazing over his as she does.
Bringing the cup closer to her face, she lets the steam waft onto her cheeks. "Irish coffee?" she asks, raising a brow at him.
Robin chuckles, that deep one of his that always comforts her, always reminds her of home. "I figured after that little show of your mum's, you could use something a bit stronger."
She smiles, taking a sip. It hits just right, soothing her anxieties and warming her belly. He sips on his for awhile too, both soaking up the solitude being outside of the mansion offers.
"I see you actually wore the sweater," she chuckles, poking at the large Rudolph on his stomach.
Robin guffaws, eyes widening dramatically as he declares, "My sister would never let me live it down if I didn't pay my end of the bet."
Laughing together, she makes mention of how her mother would murder her if she ever showed up to this event in a tacky Christmas sweater, and Robin agrees, saying his dad just about had a heart attack, but that was also part of the fun. He's always been the rebellious one out of the three of them.
"I'll have to let her know you wore it," she says, pulling out her phone to snap a selfie of them - her pointing to the large reindeer with an open mouthed smile, while Robin jokingly pouts at the camera. She texts the picture to Belle along with a few laughing emojis before tucking the phone into her coat pocket. "Where is she anyway?" she asks, turning to look at him.
He drapes one arm over the back of the bench as he twists to face her. Robin looks up to the sky, taking a deep breath before blowing out and saying, "She didn't feel well, said she would come later if she wasn't still throwing up."
Regina's eyebrows pinch together, worried but also curious as to why Belle hadn't texted her. "She said she was going to take a nap as soon as we hung up, so I assume that's why she didn't let you know."
She nods, confirming, "Well, she does sleep like the dead so I'm sure she's still out."
Laughing, Robin nods, taking another sip of his drink.
She drops her shoulders, moving her body a touch closer to Robin's to soak up a tiny bit of extra heat. They spend the next half hour sitting outside, talking and laughing together as they catch up on what's been going on in their lives lately.
"I'm sorry to hear about Daniel, by the way," he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. It's nice, being so comfortable with someone like this. She knows everything about Robin, knows about his family and how hard it'd been losing their mom six years ago. Knows where he went to college and what he does for a living. She wishes dating people felt like this, felt so natural. There's no stress, no pressure to perform and be something she's not.
"Thank you," she says, twisting her lips as she shrugs. "I just wasn't what he wanted, I guess."
Robin huffs out, shifting and bringing one knee up on the bench to look at her. There's a fire in his eyes, and she's not sure why. "That's preposterous," he exclaims, running a hand over his scruffy jaw. "You're an amazing woman, any man would be lucky to have you. If you ask me, he's just a right git for letting you go. You're better off without him."
She grins, always amused when his British side flares up. Usually when he's drunk or very passionate about something. His family had moved to the states when he was eight, the year she met Belle when they were six, but their accents never left, just diminished with the more time they stayed.
Sighing, she tells him how Daniel wanted to grow his career and life, and he didn't think she was a part of that. "He said he needed some time by himself to figure out what to do out in LA," she explains, a stab of sadness hitting her when she admits, "Not sure how his newest girlfriend is giving him time to himself, but…"
"Bastard," he mumbles, pulling her closer. The air is getting colder the longer they sit out here, and the heat from his body pressed into her side now feels nice. "You are worth more than that, you know?" he asks, looking down at her. "You deserve so much better. You're an amazing person, Regina."
Smiling, and already planning her next journal entry to be all about Robin and how no man has ever treated her like he does, she rests her head on his shoulder.
Dear Diary, she thinks in her mind, Robin told me tonight how amazing and wonderful I am, and you know what? I actually believe him. He's always been my biggest cheerleader aside from Belle. He's the closest guy friend I've ever known, and I can't imagine life without him. I want the man I end up with, the one I spend the rest of my life with, to treat me like Robin does. He makes me feel… happy. At peace. Like I finally found my place in the world. That's how it should be. Why can't I find a man like that?
"And while we're on it," she tells him quietly, not wanting to disturb the serene silence surrounding them, "I'm sorry to hear about you and Marian, too." She places her hand on his knee, pushing herself up to look in his clear, blue eyes once more.
He shrugs, scrunching his face in a very unaffected way. "It was for the best." He tells her how Marian wasn't the marrying type - she was younger than them, still trying to hold onto her college days, partying until late in the evenings, going to raging concerts and doing things Robin gave up years ago.
Chuckling, he tells her how the final straw was when Marian wanted him to get another tattoo. "Instead of like my wrist though," he says, pointing to the lion tattoo he'd gotten in college as a tribute to his grandfather, "she wanted me to get her name. On my arse."
She guffaws at that, covering her mouth as Robin just smiles over at her. "Why?" she chuckles.
He explains that Marian thought they were meant to be, wanted him to prove his love for her by branding his body with her name. "That was that," he laughs. "I couldn't do it in good faith, knowing I didn't feel for her what I do for someone else."
Regina tilts her head, curious. She's never heard Robin mention having feelings for anyone else. He's always been like her, just moving from one date to the next, but never finding the one.
He's looking at her so seriously, though, as if he expects her to read his mind. Does he mean… her? Surely not. They've always had a flirtatious banter, sure, but she assumed that was just from growing up together, from being completely comfortable with one another. They've never been available at the same time, either. They were either single at opposite times or both in relationships simultaneously, too busy trying to find the right person for them to really consider being together. Usually thoughts of dating Robin would flitter through her mind after one too many bad dates, but she never truly considered it. She never thought he'd actually want to be with her.
"W-what do you mean?" she asks, scrunching her face up. People always assumed they were dating when they're out in public together, or were always asking when they were going to date, but she never put much stock in it, knowing Robin could never feel that way for her.
One side of his mouth lifts into a half smirk, and he just shakes his head, murmuring a, Nothing, love, but she won't let up. She prodes him again, asking him to clarify.
Robin sighs, running a hand through his hair and onto the back of his neck. His hand drops and he takes her now empty mug, placing it on the table with his, then looks up, seeming to admire the white Christmas lights that are draped on the wooden beams above them.
He looks back at her, a sheepish smile on his face. "You can't deny that there's always been… something… between us."
And he's right. Fuck. He's so right. She's always had a small crush on him, but assumed it just came from knowing him so well. Being around him her whole life. Having that level of comfort with one another that she's always sought out in relationships.
"We just could never get our timing right," he tells her quietly, standing from the bench. He reaches his hand out, silently asking her to take it.
She does, still confused as to what is happening, but always completely trusting of him. He leads her down the steps and over to the tree house they spent so many summer nights in, hiding from their overbearing parents and laughing the night away with his sister.
"You want to climb into the tree house?" she asks skeptically, eyeing him and then her four inch heels and tight dress with suspicion.
She notes that he hasn't let go of her hand yet, and she finds she's in no hurry to let go either.
Robin just laughs, shaking his head. "I just wanted us to be away from the party for this."
"For what?"
She looks at him as his head tilts back with a cocky grin on his face. She looks above him and, sure enough, there's a piece of mistletoe hanging from some of the Christmas lights nestled in the tree branches. "Did you put that there?" she asks, a hint of amusement in her voice as her eyes narrow at him.
Shrugging as if he's just been caught, he turns serious, taking both her hands in his. "Regina, I think it's all about timing with us," he declares lowly, pulling her a bit closer. They're not touching, not really, there's still space between their bodies, but she suddenly doesn't want there to be. She wants to be so close that he goes a little blurry, wants to feel the heat of his breath against her cheek, wants to feel his heartbeat against her chest.
So she moves closer, letting go of his hands and wrapping them around his waist as his do the same to her. They're so comfortable with each other, never an awkward pause in conversation or a dull moment between them. "When I heard what Daniel did, I knew I couldn't be with Marian anymore. I'm tired of waiting for us to be single at the same time."
Regina looks up at him, confusion and astonishment shining in her eyes. "What are you saying, Robin?"
His dimples pop on his cheeks when he smiles down at her, and she feels a quiver in her belly. "I'm saying that I want to give us a chance, if you're willing." He tells her he knew she needed time after Daniel, time to heal and get back to her old self, and he's so proud of her for doing that. She needed that time to be single and rediscover herself. "But you deserve better than what he was giving you, Regina. You deserve someone who you can argue with and still have them look at you as if you're the best thing that's ever happened to them," he says sincerely, smirking when she does as they both are clearly running through a slew of memories of past arguments they've had. He sways their bodies briefly before continuing, "I think us being together, trying this," he says, he moves one hand up, gesturing between the scant space between them, "could be a real adventure."
She beams up at him, shaking her head as if trying to will away the tears that she can feel forming. She thinks back to when she was ten, and he twelve, and how he'd snuck downstairs when she was spending the night with Belle. The three of them had stayed up all night talking and laughing, and he even joined in on the girl talk, saying he wanted a girlfriend who would go on adventures with him and do fun things. It'd been silly at the time, a teenage boy fantasizing about girlfriends of the future with his sister and her best friend, but they'd always made mention of it everytime one of them got into a new relationship, all asking each other if that person was the one for grand adventures.
Taking a deep breath, Regina bites her bottom lip trying to tamp down the smile growing on her face. She fiddles with the three-dimensional antler sticking out a little bit from his sweater before breathing out. Deciding to be brave, she raises up on her tiptoes, leaning in closer to him.
She brings one hand up, wrapping it around his neck, as she pulls him down into a kiss. He's stunned at first, she can feel it in the way he stiffens under her, so she lets go. Their breath is puffing out in white clouds around them as they both stare in bewilderment at the other. It takes him all of five seconds to react, pulling her closer and crashing his lips back to hers.
Regina smiles into the kiss, reveling in the feel of his lips on hers. They'd shared a kiss the summer before she started high school when she told Robin she didn't want to be the only girl who had never kissed a boy (which she later found out she wouldn't have been). They'd been swimming in her pool, and he'd pulled Regina to him, planting a wet kiss on her lips before Belle came back outside with chips and salsa for them to eat.
She remembers being stunned, a feeling deep in her belly that that was good, that was right, but she'd been so young, had nothing to compare it to. But now, as a grown woman, standing under this stupid mistletoe, kissing her best friend, she can say that it's still good and still feels so right. Feels like coming home. As his lips move against hers, she lets out a tiny moan in the back of her throat. This is how she's always imagined being kissed. This is the type of kiss she wants to experience every day for the rest of her life.
They pull apart, short of breath, and he gives her a shy look, one that makes her belly flip flop, and more affection than she's ever known possible grows inside of her for him and his handsome face. "I think…" she says, biting her lip again before releasing it and saying, "I am definitely ready for that adventure."
Robin lights up with joy, scooping her into his arms once more and planting another kiss to her lips, then her cheek, and the tip of her nose in between their laughter.
He sets her down, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his forehead to hers. They stay there for a few minutes, soaking up the peace and solitude that they bring each other.
She sighs and pulls back a bit to get a better look at him. He's so handsome, and as he asks her if she wants to go to dinner tomorrow night, she can't help but grin and agree.
"You can write about it in your journal later," he taunts, tongue poking out between his white teeth and effectively breaking the moment, but reminding her just why she loves him so much and always has.
She punches his arm playfully, scoffing at him as her eyes widen. He laughs, moving away from her attack and throwing his hands up in surrender.
Regina chortles, pulling him back to her by the lapels of his jacket and places another heated kiss to his lips. They stand there, wrapped in each other's embraces for long minutes before she pulls back, asking, "Where are you going to take me?" and he smiles down at her, telling her they can go wherever she wants. They plan their date, choosing to go to their favorite Mexican restaurant before strolling through the local craft fair to get a funnel cake and maybe a Christmas gift or two for their friends, and she can honestly say she's never been more excited for a date before in her life.
And later that night when she gets home, she does, in fact, pull out her trusty diary and makes one final entry.
Dear Diary,
Robin asked me out tonight, and it was wonderful. He kissed me too, which was even better. I'm not afraid to be myself around him - I already know that - so maybe that'll help with this whole dating thing. There will be no awkward pauses or trying to get to know one another on such a superficial level. We already know each other more than anyone else in the world, except maybe Belle. Oh shit, Belle, I need to call her!
Anyway, I'm giddy and excited and I know I haven't felt like this in a very long time, if ever, with a man. I'm actually looking forward to a date for once. Maybe Robin is right and it's all about the timing of things, and this time, I think (hope) things really will turn out differently. It finally feels like everything will be alright.
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