Just something I came up with, originally it was merely going to be Aerith reflecting on Leon and who he used to be as Squall but the others wanted in on it so yea, it got longer; I've tried hard to keep all of them in character so hopefully I didn't do too bad of a job. Some feedback on characterisation would be appreciated please.

Disclaimer: As usual I don't own kingdoms hearts or these characters, unless Santa's feeling generous this xmas and gives me them.

Thoughts of Hope

The Healer

It's moments like this when Aerith wonders if the broken boy can ever be fixed again. When those cold impenetrable walls collapse and he cries silently into his pillow at night, whimpering the same name over and over.

"Cloud…"

Aerith sighs as Squ-Leon breaks again and feels terrible. Knowing she can't do anything but listen to the ever-withdrawing teen call for the friend he'd been so dependant on. She feels terrible as he turns seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and finally twenty; at which point the hope is gone from his eyes, replaced with ice and an independent strength; the sweet, small dimpled smile he occasionally offered hasn't been seen for years, and the books he once obsessed over are replaced with the gunblade and patrolling Traverse Town, making sure no Heartless stayed for long.

She feels terrible as she watches, helplessly, as Squall slowly vanishes, replaced by this withdrawn Leon who, so strong in his independence, has practically forgotten the younger boy he once clung to.

She feels hopeful when Sora arrives. In the days that follow Sora's arrival, Leon seems warmer, more prone to lingering around their small base. She spies him reading a book for leisure after Sora's third visit with them. Something he hasn't done since losing Hollow Bastion and Cloud. By the time they're able to return to Hollow Bastion courtesy of Sora, Aerith's hope has tripled as Leon smiles that oh-so familiar smile, sweet and small and dimpled as they loiter around the library with Sora, piecing together the last of Ansem's Reports.

Then Cloud appears.

Aerith can't describe how that felt; at first it felt wonderful because they were all together and Cloud was back, Cloud could help Leon turn back into Squall; but within minutes it quickly turned the other way. Cloud wasn't the same either. He had been in the darkness and lost that cheerful light in his eyes, he didn't even look at Leon and Leon didn't look at him either. Aerith was left with two broken men to try to keep together.

Two years later Sora returned and Leon was much more warmer; offering small smiles and the occasional dry joke. Aerith didn't worry so much over Leon and often late at night, would sit in bed with a photo album sprawled across her lap, remembering Squall and comparing him to Leon and so very often, found herself thinking that the separation from Cloud (but not the painful manner in which it was forced upon them) was good for him, Squall had worried too much over what people thought, especially Cloud, and relied too much on others for his survival, especially Cloud and needed people around him, especially Cloud.

Leon was more independent; he respected what people thought, especially his friends, but unlike Squall, their thoughts didn't affect him, others relied on him for survival and he only depended upon the comfort of coming home to their motley family; he didn't need people around him and was often by himself when not with the committee. Aerith wonders how Squall would have developed had the Heartless never came to Radiant Garden; he'd probably still worry about what others thought of him, she thinks with mild amusement, perhaps enough so that he'd have never grown his hair out which in the opinion of the elder townsfolk made him look like a ne'er-do-well. He probably wouldn't still on others too much though, growing up would've made him more independent anyway, she rationalises.

But he'd definitely still cling to Cloud; before the Heartless, Aerith cannot remember a single time she saw Squall without Cloud, the brunet never went anywhere unless Cloud was there or was going to meet him there. Aerith ponders what their relationship would be like; would they still be best of friends, practically brothers? Or…her eyes drift to a photo of Cloud and Squall fast asleep on the sofa tangled up in the cords of their game controllers, sleeping so very close together…perhaps they'd be more? She smiles fondly as she remembers the way Squall often blushed when Cloud smiled at him and the way Cloud would always fluster whenever Tifa innocently said he and Squall looked cute together.

When Aerith imagines a life where Cloud and Squall are more than friends and thinks about how cold and distant they were now; she cries.

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The Ninja

When they first came to Traverse Town, Yuffie was a little girl and didn't know Aerith or Squall-who-wanted-to-be-Leon very well. But she knew them well enough that when Squall started to cry softly at night and Aerith would listen helplessly and sigh, unable to do anything, that it was best to pretend she was fast asleep and that it never happened. She also had to make sure to be extra happy the following morning so maybe –maybe- Squall would smile again because he looked very handsome and really nice when he did. She liked Squall and Aerith; Aerith was sweet and gentle and when she was healing her cuts and scrapes Yuffie could pretend that it was mother –or better yet- that Aerith was her older sister and had always been there. Squall was a little scary though, every day he got a little colder, trained a little longer and read his heavy books with the biiiiig words a little less.

Yuffie didn't know who this Cloud was, that Squall missed really badly and cried for whenever he was very exhausted or had had a really bad day. But she did know that she wanted him to come to Traverse Town so Squall wouldn't be so sad and could smile his nice smile. But Cloud never came and Yuffie grew from a child to a teen and Squall became Leon and Leon never smiled or read those impressive books and he didn't seem to remember that Cloud fellow either. That made Yuffie sad because Leon, cold though he was, had become the big brother in her little family and she –with all her great ninja skills- couldn't make Leon smile.

Then Sora came and Yuffie had hope. Leon was a bit warmer –not enough so that he'd smile or laugh with her whenever she hid Cid's smokes, but warm enough that Yuffie didn't need to factor in his reaction when she plotted her pranks, even though he was staying around their base more often. And sometime after one of Sora's first few visits Yuffie found Aerith smiling brightly as she peeked into the living room. Curious Yuffie had joined her and nearly giggled in glee because Leon was reading of his books for the fun of it and she knows from Cid and Aerith that Leon hasn't touched his books since they arrived. Yuffie can almost taste Aerith's hope and joy and wonders just what Squall had been like, wonders if maybe she'd have liked him more than Leon before throwing the idea away; Leon isn't so bad and he's so sweet with the Dalmatians and their puppies (Yuffie knows because she keeps watch on their house and always visits when Leon does, so she can see the soft expression on his face as he cuddles with Pongo and Perdita or plays with their pups. One time she even got a picture of it and had to run for her life; it took her days to sneak into the photo shop to get them developed because Leon was staking the shop).

When Sora helped them get Hollow Bastion back, Yuffie saw able to sneak a photo of Leon's small smile, hiding the camera before he spotted her; she then giggled and hugged him, teasing him over what it took to get a smile out of him. It takes Sora, Cid and Aerith five minutes to pry her off before they can start the last of Ansem Reports.

Then about a week later, Yuffie finally met Cloud but unlike Aerith, Yuffie never felt hope at his arrival; she felt apprehension because it was hard to believe that the cheerful, protective-of-Squall Cloud she'd heard about from Aerith was this same man was looked so indifferent and didn't even glance at Leon. She felt mad about that (because Cid had said Cloud was practically Squall's world), but the anger faded when she realised Leon wasn't looking at Cloud either. She felt the same despair Aerith did; because not even the infamous Cloud's return could jolt Leon into smiling and being a little warmer. She decides that she'll simply have to play more pranks and antics because it was up to her to make Leon smile.

Two years later Sora returns and Yuffie is pleased to see that Leon is warming up –he's still a bloody ice prince in her books- but it's an improvement. Late at night she sits in bed with the photos she managed to take of Leon with the Dalmatians and his smile. Sometimes she wonders about Leon's past as Squall, that time when he was Cloud's own living shadow and wonders what would have happened if the Heartless never came. Would she know them? Would they be friends? Would Cloud and Squall still be friends? Or…a sly smile graces her lips as her eyes light up…would they be more?

When Yuffie imagines a life where Cloud and Leon are more than friends, she forgets completely about their current coldness and distance and gets a nosebleed.

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The Mechanic

When they first came to Traverse Town, Cid didn't fucking know anything about kids except that the little shits stole from his fruit trees and that they often had accidents with his windows and their damn toys. Yet despite that he took care of the three brats he'd managed to pull off world with him and despite his bloody lack of knowledge, he likes to think that he's doing okay. But when Squall starts crying at night, calling for a certain blonde, Cid feels like he's back at square one with no fucking clue as to how to be a parent and grabs a pack of cigarettes and a bottle vodka. The both of which are empty when Squall finally calms down and sleeps. As the years go by, Cid watches his three charges grow up and feels disappointment that Leon changed so drastically after being separated from Cloud, that the boy gave up hope of seeing his friend again and let himself become withdrawn and so duty-driven. He silently encourages Yuffie's silliness as she strives to coax a smile out of Leon and does what he can to make Leon life a little bit easier but damn, if that boy didn't get the short end of the fucking stick.

When he meets Sora, Cid can see a mix of Cloud and Squall in the boy and warms up to him. He warms up further once he realises that the cocky little brat somehow managed to get that stick out of Leon's ass because Leon is now reading his books again and spending time at the base. More importantly Cid spies him smiling when waving Sora off after one visit and Cid can't help but think that Sora is a fucking good friend for Leon –for all of them- to have.

When they return to Hollow Bastion Cid hides a smirk as Yuffie takes a photo of Leon's smile and later on he hides his concern when he finds Cloud and brings him to Hollow Bastion that neither he nor Leon will look at each other. Instead, Cloud goes all over the place searching for Sephiroth and won't look at any of them. Leon withdraws a little further and Cid can feel an odd sense of defiance in the man, almost as though in reaction to Cloud, as Leon works himself harder rebuilding their home.

When Sora comes to visit, Cid breathes a cuss of relief. He does this because, as he now shares a bedroom with Leon, he is the only one aware that the brunet is slowly wearing himself down and dwelling in the past, making him withdrawn again. Seeing Sora cheers Leon up and Cid can see the small smile on Leon's face as the man talks to the boy and hear the small, dry jokes he offers to others when some dumb bugger leaves themselves open to his sense of humour.

Unlike Yuffie and Aerith, Cid doesn't wonder how things would have turned out if Leon had stayed Squall and the Heartless had never been. He doesn't believe in 'what ifs', he believes in what was and what fucking is. And what fucking is, is two idiots who can't see the forest because of the fucking trees and who won't talk to each other beyond a little light banter on the battlefield. Cloud's story he doesn't even pretend to know (though he does wish that the fucking idiot would get his head out of his dark-ridden ass and just talk to Leon), but Leon's he knows and he can sympathise with the young man even when he's busy calling Leon a fucking pansy. Leon will leap into action to save others without hesitation; that is something ingrained into him over the years of dealing with Heartless. But that same experience also means Leon is reluctant to act in personal matters. No, Cid knows that the blonde idiot will have to be the one to take action. And in that way, nothing has changed really, because Cloud always initiated things when they were kids and Squall always hesitated, never voicing an opinion until he knew Cloud's thoughts on the matter.

When Cid imagines a life where Cloud and Leon are more than friends, he sees his munny being spent on earplugs and soundproof walls because something tells him that those two will be loud and decides to get some price quotes, because those two idiots will get together, especially if the gleam in Aerith and Tifa's eyes has anything to say with it.

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The Martial Artist

When they first lost Hollow Bastion, Tifa didn't know where she ended up; all she knew was that the others weren't there; that Aerith wasn't there to have sleepovers with, that she'd seen Cloud shoulder-deep in darkness and that Squall -uncertain, sweet little Squall- had tried so desperately to save anyone and everyone he could. She has nightmares for a long time; of Squall trying to reach Cloud and Cloud dying before he can and then she'll see her quiet friend break into a million pieces which neither she nor Aerith can piece back together. She has nightmares of Aerith, her only friend that wasn't a boy, alone and afraid somewhere much like she was, or worse not alone and in danger, so very, very terrified without Tifa or Cloud to protect her. She has nightmares of Cloud losing himself in the darkness, becoming it and hurt everyone he once cared about.

When she finds Cloud some years later, she can feel herself relax because her nightmare hasn't become a reality even if Cloud has darkness in him -and out of him- that is dangerous. When they find their way to Hollow Bastion, Tifa is relieved because the friends she has missed so desperately are okay. Aerith is still her sweet caring self and welcomes Tifa home with open arms and a place to stay. Squall worries Tifa though; he is no longer Squall and insists on being called Leon –at least until this is home again he claims. Leon is fiercely independent and strong and he's not the sweetly smiling, uncertain and kind boy Tifa remembers, he is a withdrawn, stoic and protective warrior. Tifa misses Squall but finds Leon is just as good a friend, having grown up well despite everything.

When Tifa meets Sora, she is able to understand why it is the keyblade master who, Aerith has told her, is able to make Leon warm up. She decides she likes Sora, something about him reminds her of Squall in the way he is searching so desperately for his friend and the way he becomes awkward when Donald and Goofy tease him about a girl named Kairi. Between chasing down Cloud she takes time to observe Leon and Sora together and decides that Sora is what she thinks Squall could have been, had he been given a normal life, but as things stand, Sora is a good influence on Leon and Tifa knows this because Leon made a small joke when speaking to her shortly after Sora's visit.

Tifa managed to catch up to Cloud once but he wouldn't look at her. Unlike the others who accepted this behaviour, Tifa demanded a reason for it. She felt guilty when Cloud explained that she was too 'bright' to look at, understanding that his experience with the darkness made it hard to look at light. A moment later a thought clicked in her head and she tackled Cloud to the ground where he was walking away.

"Is that the reason why you don't look at Leon?"

Cloud didn't answer her for a long time. In fact, she'd almost fallen asleep when he did finally speak.

"I don't look at Leon because I want to see Squall."

Tifa felt hope for the first time in a long time as she got off of Cloud and watched as he slowly continued towards the Bailey again. She felt a blinding hope and also elation when she spied the pink tingeing Cloud's ears and only just restrained herself from giving a rather Yuffie-like whoop before running off to share her discovery with Aerith.

When Tifa imagines a life where Cloud and Squall are more than friends, she sees the future and she smiles at the light in it.

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To Be Continued?

Still deciding if I want to continue this or leave it as is, let me know what you think. In the meantime have a good holiday :D