Graveyard Shift

I slid out of my police cruiser and pushed through the doors of the small building. I got in line behind my colleagues from work.

"Any excitement on the home front, Brian?"

I looked up at my old partner and smiled. "Just a few speeding tickets. How 'bout you?"

"I just got back from a big drug bust. Now I have to fill out five pages of paperwork." He sighed and slowly walked forward.

"How's the new partner?" I whispered.

He chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. "He's all right. Not as good as you and I used to be, but perhaps that will come with time. How's yours?"

"Harry and I go way back. He's a bit stubborn, but he'll get used to me."

"Well, I'm up. It's nice seeing a familiar face." My old partner walked up to the cashier.

I waited until my old friend got his grub before I walked up to the cashier.

"What can I do for you?" The cashier yawned.

"I'll have three maple bars, two of those delicious jelly-filled ones, and an apple fritter," I managed giving him a slight smile.

"That'll be $3.84 please. Cash or Credit?"

"Cash," I mumbled before pulling out a wallet. Digging through the bills in my wallet, I pulled out a crisp $5 bill. I smiled before handing him the bill and said, "Keep the change."

"Gee... thanks!"

I just smiled and grabbed my paper bag of donuts. Reaching into the bag, I grabbed out a maple bar for the road. I strolled back to the cruiser and got into the passenger seat. I held my donuts lovingly on my lap.

"We just got called to check out a house on North Denver street. There's a report of a shriek coming from a neighbor's house." My partner said while putting the car into gear.

"You want a donut?"

"Is that all you have to say? This could be a big story!"

"Harry, how long have you been a police officer?" I looked at him seriously.

"A few months or so, but this could be totally awesome," he said enthusiastically.

"That's what you think," I said under my breath.

Silence ensued for the rest of the car ride. We crossed several intersections before I spotted North Denver. "What's the address?"

"1646."

We slowly made our way down the street until Harry pulled into the driveway of an extravagant house. I slowly got out of the car with Harry. We walked up quietly to the door and knocked. A petite elderly lady answered the door.

"You called the police?" I asked.

"Yes, Miss Susie told me she heard a scream." The lady replied.

"May I speak to this Miss Susie?" Harry asked.

"Sure, come on in." The elderly lady turned and hollered down through the house, "Miss Susie! Come here girl!"

A small white ball of fluff appeared from the empty hallway. The lady bent down and picked up the miniature dog.

"I'm sorry miss, but that's a dog..." I was befuddled.

"I know! This is Miss Susie. Say hi to these good people, Miss Susie."

Harry bent over and whispered, "She's crazy. I guess it comes with old age."

"Let's just humor her." I shook my head.

Raising my voice a little louder, I asked the dog, "About what time did you here the scream?"

The lady lifted her small dog to her ear and acted like she was listening intently. "Miss Susie says one o'clock," she finally said after many minutes. "Miss Susie doesn't trust you."

Harry cleared his throat loudly.

I flashed him a look but continued questioning the dog, "Has your neighbor been acting strangely lately?"

I waited for five minutes before the lady responded.

"No... He doesn't leave his house much."

"Thanks for the information. We'll check it out." Harry and I left the old lady's house.

"Thanks for leaving. I was about to go crazy," Harry said, smiling.

"I've seen worse, but she was driving me mad," I admitted.

"I can't wait to talk to someone normal."

"Am I not normal?" I walked a little faster.

"You? Normal? You're hardly normal," Harry chuckled.

We reached the door of the neighbor's house.

"I bet the scream was someone having a nightmare," I guessed.

Harry knocked on the door. "I still think this is going to be a big story."

A man opened the door. "Hello! How may I help you officers?" He greeted cheerily. "You two must be freezing! Come on in!"

I was startled by the man's kindness. I walked into the house, and a wave of warmth rushed to meet me. "Your neighbor said her dog heard a scream coming from inside this house."

"Mrs. York is a little crazy... The shriek was my own in a dream," the man said.

"Does anyone else live here?" I pressed.

"Just me and an old man, but you can't talk to him. He's absent in the country. If you don't believe me, you can search my home. I have nothing to hide."

He led us around the house before finally stopping at the old man's room. He showed us the old man's treasures all of which seemed undisturbed. He then brought in chairs in which we could sit and rest.

I looked at Harry. He believed the man's story, and I did too. How couldn't I believe such a believable story?

Something about the room was inviting, so I persuaded Harry to stay for a while. After all, it wasn't everyday I met someone so friendly to people in my profession.

"How long have you lived here?" I asked.

"I moved here six years ago. Would you believe that the old man didn't want to move here?" The man erupted into laughter. "It's so spacious here."

He was entertaining, and both of us were caught in laughter at times.

"Only in America can you get a pizza delivered faster than an ambulance."

We all started laughing hysterically.

The man started getting louder and squeakier. Harry and I, who were drunk on our own laughter and cheeriness, thought it was all part of an act.

Up to the point when the man was pacing to and fro with the heaviest strides possible, Harry and I were laughing uncontrollably. I guess I should have known something was wrong, but it was the drunkenness that inhibited my thinking. We chatted merrily about how ridiculous our host was.

"Villains!" The man shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! — here, here! — it is the beating of his hideous heart!"

My smile disappeared, and I looked upon the crying host. I leaned toward my partner and whispered, "Let's get out of here. I don't want to listen to an emotional breakdown."

I got up from my chair and turned toward our host and thanked him for the hospitality. Harry and I made it to the door and closed it gently behind us.

"I guess he forgot to take his medication. Why did we have to get assigned to a street full of crazies? First, a lady who talked to her dog and then a bipolar whacko." Harry chuckled.

"I don't know, but we should propose a new name for North Denver street."

We reached the police car and started getting in.

I smiled and laughed. "I've got an excellent name. Crazyhouse Lane."