Notes: You could almost call this a companion piece to Observation #1 since, originally, this piece was to be included in Observation #1. A friend and I, however, agreed that it was best to post it as a separate story due to the point-of-view change.
He stood just in front of the Institute; unseen by the mundanes mulling about on the sidewalk just before him, but then again, he had learned in his short immortal life that mundanes—humans don't often see what is clearly on display right before their eyes. He knew of another person—a Shadowhunter, in fact—with the same problem.
It wasn't her fault, and that was what Simon constantly told himself. Clary still had every reason to believe that Jace was wholly committed to her, and her alone. Simon didn't like the thought of hurting her, but sometimes things happened; things like him and Jace, they happened, even though Simon wasn't completely sure how that came to be.
The only thing that had ever really mattered to him was it happened, and his best friend was still in the dark about it. It upset him, sometimes, aggravated him and made him lash out at Jace and even Clary, even though it wasn't her fault.
It was never her fault, and that was why it had to stop or they had to come clean to about it, about everything that had transpired between them. It hurt to think about—it always hurt to think about losing Jace or Clary, or hell, both of them for all that Simon knew—but it had to be done, and now was the time.
"There's no loitering here."
Simon looked up, startled by the Shadowhunter's sudden appearance, and frowned at the amused expression he found on Jace's face. The vampire looked away for a moment, grinding his teeth as he considered how easily Jace snuck up on him. He really was a crappy vampire.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Jace asked, drawing Simon's attention back to him. "I thought we were meeting up later tonight."
"Couldn't wait—this couldn't wait," Simon replied, rolling his eyes as Jace leaned closer with a sensual smirk on his face. He turned his head at the last moment, Jace's lips pressing against Simon's cheek as he hissed, "Not that!"
"Then what?" Jace replied, and Simon pretended not to hear the whine in the other's voice as he pushed Jace away from him, putting a respectable distance between them as Jace frowned at Simon. "What's so important that you couldn't wait until tonight?"
Simon didn't answer right away; for a moment he was completely silent because he simply couldn't speak even though he knew what he wanted to say, had planned it all out, but the words just wouldn't come to him when Jace was looking at him like that—like what he had to say would shatter Jace's entire world and, maybe, it would. But it was something Simon was willing to risk because he couldn't sit by and watch his best friend get hurt without even realizing what was happening to her.
"I can't do this anymore," Simon finally said, his voice soft and stern as he watched the color drain from Jace's features.
"You…you can't do what?" Jace asked in return, every trace of amusement gone from his tone as he watched Simon and waited for an answer.
"This!" Simon sighed, indicating the space between the two of them. "This—us, I can't do it anymore. I can't let this continue right under Clary's nose."
"She doesn't know! She doesn't even—"
"That's the problem, Jace!" Simon interrupted quickly, his voice raised and brimming with anger as he glared at the other teenager. "She doesn't know, and eventually, she will find out. I don't want to hurt her, Jace. I won't hurt her and I know you don't want to either."
Jace deflated at that; saying and doing nothing as Simon stepped away. "You're right," Jace said softly, looking away from Simon as he continued speaking, "I don't want to hurt her."
"Then you understand why we can't do this anymore?" Simon asked softly, his voice shaking with his barely controlled emotion because, even though he knew it was the right thing to do, he didn't want this—whatever this was between them—to end.
The truth shined clear in Jace's eyes; the deep, golden eyes that Simon constantly found himself getting lost in and, slowly, he released a soft sigh before he sagged heavily against the wall behind him. He had expected Jace to put up more of a fight; Simon was almost disappointed that Jace hadn't, but this was how things ought to be.
"So…" Jace started, almost uncomfortably as his eyes flickered away from Simon before resting heavily on him. "So, this is it, then?"
Simon chewed on his lower lip, glancing up at the dark sky before shrugging. "I—I guess, I mean I don't want it to be, but…" His voice died off as he looked at Jace again, shaking his head slowly.
Jace frowned, stepping up to Simon. "But what?" He asked—no, he demanded with a heated gaze. "But what, Simon? If you don't want this to end and if I don't want it too, then why can't we—"
Simon groaned softly, covering his eyes as he shook his head. "No, Jace. Don't do this, not now, please…" he said, uncovering his eyes to give the elder teenager a pleading look.
"Do what?" Jace replied, reaching for one of Simon's hands, but Simon snatched it out of Jace's grasp. "What don't you want me to do?" He stepped even closer to Simon, and he always had trouble thinking when Jace was this close to him; now was no different, though Simon tried to be resilient as Jace leaned down to him.
Simon tried to turn away, tried to block Jace's kiss, but Simon was a moment too slow and Jace's lips captured his and held them captive in a searing embrace that made Simon's head spin. For a moment—one that felt like a lifetime—Simon was completely complacent and wanted Jace as badly as he always had; Clary be damned.
But, being around Jace did that to Simon. It made him selfish. It made him want, and want without caring who got hurt in the process. Simon didn't like the person he became when he was with Jace.
For just a moment, Simon forgot about his duty to his best friend and he kissed Jace like his life depended on it and, maybe, in that moment it did. If he couldn't have this—have Jace anymore, he wanted to remember their last moments together. He nipped, sucked and licked his way into Jace's mouth, swallowing his moans, groans and sighs of pleasure as Simon's fingers clutched in Jace's jacket, and then grasped his shoulders before tangling in his golden blond hair.
Simon wanted this, and he couldn't believe he was about to lose it willingly, all because he wanted his best friend to be happy. He stiffened at the thought of Clary, his eyes snapping open (he wasn't even aware that he closed them) just before he shoved Jace away from him.
"Is that what you didn't want me to do?"