If you follow me on tumblr you must know that I'm moving out, and that I didn't have internet conexion since friday last week, and that my Mac is currently being a bitch; So I had some free time and with nothing else to do I wrote this. Another thing I'd like to say is that I LOVE Finn, I really do and I feel bad writing bad things about him, but is just his personality that makes him so easy to hate on.
Flashback is in italics.
Anyway, if you find a mistake either gramatically or spelling please let me know.
Disclaimer: I don't own this characters, RIB and Fox do.
Her dads always said it when she was little. It was a constant reminder in Rachel's childhood that prevailed until her early days of a teenager.
'Don't lie, Rachel".
That phrase had been told to Rachel in so many different situations.
When she ate a cookie before dinner and tried to deny it with her dress covered in crumbs. Or that time when she got a B- in her history test and said that she had lost her text book as a poor excuse. Fifteen minutes later her daddy had found it hidden under her bed.
Yes, the lesson had been learned so many times before that it was impossibly to believe that at her current age of 18, she was still doing it.
Not to her fathers anymore, though.
"So, I was thinking that maybe you want to come over Friday night given that Burt and my mom are going out to celebrate their anniversary and Kurt is staying over at Blaine's".
You had to try to understand her. She knew it was wrong. She knew that lying to sweet, charming Finn Hudson was wrong. He didn't deserve it at all. He had always been so good and understanding and patient with her. Specially patient. He had waited until she was ready to take their relationship to the next level. He had waited for her.
"I'm sorry, Finn. I have things to do".
Liar.
"My piano teacher re-scheduled this week's lesson to Friday".
Liar.
"And after that my dads want to go out for dinner, something about spending more time with me".
Liar.
"Maybe next week?".
Rejection crossed his face but being the same comprehensive Finn as always he gave her his signature lopsided smile.
"It's ok babe. We'll find time to spend together".
Rachel's guilty became heavier each time her boyfriend ate her awful lies.
He was so naive and kind and those were some of the main reasons why Rachel loved him deeply once.
Oh, how she wished she could continue loving him that way. Her mind wished it so bad, but her body and her subconscious betrayed her over and over again.
As her mind asked for Finn's sweet kisses and gentle touch, her body ached for fuller lips and smaller hands.
It was so disgusting. Rachel was so disgusted with herself. But she, unfortunately, couldn't bring herself to stop it.
"Stop thinking Rach, I can practically see the wheels turning in your head. I said it was fine. I'm not mad".
Why was she doing this to him? Why was she throwing away all the promises full of love and hope he was offering to her? And the most important and terrifying question of all. Why was she doing all this for someone who couldn't promise her more than the hours they spend rolling around on a bed in a sweaty mess of limbs?.
She didn't know the answers of all this questions. And even though she had been searching for them in the ceiling of her room during sleepless nights; she still had no clue, she was lost.
The only thing that kept making sense to her was that she wouldn't let her mind hurt Finn. Her body and her dreams were already doing that. So until she figured that situation out she wasn't going to hurt the person that had been nice to her since her first day of high school.
So she ignored the complains tingling along her skin as she stood on her toes and planted a slow chaste kiss on Finn's lips.
"Ok. Walk me to class?".
He threw her a toothy grin and took her by the hand.
"Sure".
Friday came way too early for Rachel, and she found herself shaking a little as she put all her books in her locker by the end of the school-day.
After that talk with Finn, the one in which she lied to him again, she had been thinking and had finally made a decision.
She was going to end it. No matter what her skin and hands and lips craved for. After all, mind controls body. And she was sure she still had control of her mind, at least the part that wasn't constantly thinking in olive skin and long raven hair.
She could do it. She could live a faithful teenage life with Finn. She could get over coconut smell and that raspy voice that often whispered in her ear.
Confidence flowed over her and shutting close her locker she walked to the parking lot.
All the cheating on her boyfriend was going to end. By the end of the night Rachel was going to be as faithful and in love with Finn as before.
Rachel contemplated the last sunbeams of the day escaping the horizon coloring the sky in several tones of orange. The intensity of the light going through the windshield of her Prius reflecting in her chocolate hair, big shadows drawn on the pavement floor of the parking lot of the same hotel as always. The same hotel where all had begun and ended at the same time.
Soft but firm hands were holding her up against the wall. Strong teeth marking her skin, nipping enticingly at her neck, chest and shoulders. She had her eyes closed, her hands gripping and pulling silky raven hair.
The coldness produced by the wall sending shivers down her bare back. When her shirt and skirt had been ripped off of her body? She had no idea.
Time seemed to stop the moment she kissed those pouty lips. Or the second she touched that soft skin. Catching her breath had never been so difficult, neither catching her thoughts or, for that matter, reality.
Was that really happening?, Was she dreaming?, When did sex start feeling so good? Or what she had been doing with Finn for the last couple of months wasn't sex?. Because it definitely didn't feel like that.
Finn.
Finn.
Shit, Finn!
Finally grasping some coherence, she pushed away the body hovering above her. When did they get to the bed?
"Wait, Wait. I can't do this, I have a boyfriend. I can't. I'm sorry". She lifted herself up from the mattress and started frantically looking for her clothes.
Strong olive arms encircled her waist effectively trapping her between them and the lean body behind her.
"Relax, Berry. You want this as much as I do. Stop thinking about him and start feeling me. Let me take care of you".
A warm mouth enveloped her ear and started sucking at her earlobe as long tanned fingers made their way inside her underwear.
Dear God, what those fingers were doing to her?, Thousands of butterflies were fluttering around her stomach and a strong pressure was accumulating in her lower belly with each stroke of the olive fingers.
They fell down onto the bed again and the lithe warm body placed itself above her. Playful lips peppered her skin with kisses while nimble hands got rid of the rest of her clothes.
"Damn, Berry. Since when are you so fucking hot?". A hoarse whisper against her jaw.
The olive fingers returned to her overheated core but this time with a thumb rubbing circles on her bundle of nerves.
Rachel's hips bucked up and the teasing fingers slipped further down. They were playing dangerously around her entrance now.
Full lips started kissing her breasts, covering all the skin there. Sucking and licking and nipping and pinching.
And when those long, skillful fingers pushed inside of her. She had to grab the sheets above her to not fall apart.
She was living a whole new experience. It was impressive, overwhelming and hard to handle.
On the aftermath of the amazing sex she had had that night; Rachel Berry convinced herself that what she did was just that. Meaningless and feeling less sex. That the person currently sleeping beside her was lust incarnated. And that she will use this experience with learning purposes. Merely learning purposes.
When did they stopped fucking and started making love instead?.
Her confidence and security were crumbling. She wasn't so sure about anything anymore.
Her cellphone rang in her purse and as if fate had felt her hesitation a txt popped in the touchscreen; a txt from Finn.
'I miss you. Have a nice piano lesson.'
Without thinking it twice she got out of her car and walked to the lobby. The clicking of her heels matching her fast pacing.
A tall, thin man with greyish hair greeted her.
"Good evening Miss Berry, your friend is already here. Room 403".
The embarrassment of being recognized by the receptionist of a hotel had faded after the fifth or sixth time he had greeted her. Now they were good acquaintances.
"Good evening Mister Avery. Thank you very much". She said as she took the key-card he handed to her.
The ride in the elevator helped her clear her mind a bit. The lost confidence was returning with each step she gave towards room 403.
Closing her eyes she stood in front of the door, her heart hammering wildly against her chest. She sighed deeply and inserted the key-card in the slit and turned the handle opening the door.
Her line of thoughts got lost when she got hypnotized by the most beautiful human being she had ever met.
There, sitting by the window watching the sunset through the glass was Santana Lopez.
Intense rays of orange light stamping in her figure making her glow under the sun.
She was stunning. Impossibly gorgeous.
She took Rachel's breath away leaving her completely speechless.
She actually gasped when Santana turned to looked at her. A smile adorning her lips.
"Hey". Her raspy voice invading her mind, erasing all her previous thoughts and replacing them with just one thing.
"Santana". Her name tasting sweetly on Rachel's lips.
Maybe she was hopeless, maybe she was going to be stuck in a vicious circle for the rest of her life. Because there was no way she was ending things with her raven-haired beauty.
And please don't judge her, because you had to actually live the experience of being with Santana to understand why it was so hard for Rachel to leave her.
"You're late. I thought you weren't coming". Back in the days when Santana harassed Rachel in the school's hallways Rachel would think that the latina's voice was extremely obnoxious and low for a woman.
How could she think such a thing?
Her voice was a perfect combination of sensuality and mystery. Her diction mixed with its tone made Rachel weak at the knees. And when they were sharing a moment of secret passion, the purrs and moans and grunts in her ear could set her skin on fire.
Everything about the latina was perfect. Rachel was so addicted to her.
"I apologize; I got caught in some thinking I had to do. Thinking about you, me, us". She paused and gulped silently. "And about Finn, too". She didn't lie to her. She couldn't lie to her.
"It's ok. You're here now". Santana rose from her seat by the window and approached Rachel with graceful steps.
She took her by the waist and kissed her softly.
And they made love; they made sweet, passionate, intense love.
Rachel was drunk on the coconut smell of her hair, her enthralling voice, her smooth olive skin and the delicious taste in her tongue each time she kissed the latina. All her senses were overloaded.
Santana was her personal dealer. And her drug was herself.
Everything, everything about Santana drove her crazy.
The way her lips dragged across her skin followed by a chain of shivers. Or the strenght in her fingers when she grabbed Rachel's hair as she buried her head between her legs.
Rachel had memorized all the details, all the simple gestures and mannerisms of the latina. She wanted them printed in her mind until her last day of life. Because every moment with Santana was meant to be treasured.
Mind blowing. Every single thing was mind blowing.
And when finally her raven-haired beauty whispered 'I love you' against her skin as they simultaneously touched the sky in a wave of overwhelming sensations, she changed her mind. That feeling, that amazing and exhilarating feeling of belonging was worth everything.
"Santana". Rachel screamed in pleasure.
"Look at me". She demanded. Before doing anything she needed to confirm in those chocolate orbs that she had made the right choice.
Santana gazed at her and Rachel thought that she had never looked more beautiful with her unruly hair and swollen lips.
She conveyed all her emotions in her gaze trying her best to speak without words.
Santana read her like a book.
"I can't promise you forever but what I can promise is a today. If that's enough for you, then be mine. Only mine. I don't want to share you anymore. I can't... I will not share you anymore. I'm not sure what am I doing and I don't know how to do relationships but I'm willing to try and learn with you. Teach me how to love you, teach me how to keep you".
Rachel wasn't surprised by the accuracy of Santana's words she knew that the moment their eyes locked Santana knew everything too.
"And I know that I'm fucked up and that you deserved way better than me but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try so hard for you to be proud of me. I'm sick of sneaking and hiding and lying".
Santana rested their foreheads together, her naked body was fully on top of Rachel and her forearms were supporting some of her weight to not crush the tiny body underneath her.
"And I don't want to do this to Finn anymore". Santana said sincerely.
Rachel smiled knowingly and captured her lips.
"Thank you. I want you to learn too. And I'm more than thrilled to teach you. I know that you can't promise a future but that's ok. Because we will build it together. Day by day".
They sealed the deal with a kiss.
Santana hided herself from the rest of the world in Rachel's neck. The rhythm of their hearts finally merging together.