This came from nowhere after reading some spoilers of GG episode. Please don`t read if you have not seen the chapter. After seeing the chapter tonight I modify it a little bit. I am a huge Chair fan, but right now I like the idea of this fanfic. I do not know if it is going to be one chapter only, let`s see. Sorry if my grammar is not the best. Gossip girl does not belong to me. This is just a little non profit fun.

He suddenly feels very tired, he fought with everything just to give up at the last minute. But at the end of the day, it was her choice. And he lost.

She said she loves him and still she did not choose him. She chose a loveless marriage over him. Her fairy tale against her fate.

She was his fate. They were meant to be together. It does not matter anymore.

The "I am protecting thee" theory is good, but their love should have been bigger than that. She should have chosen him.

Now he is home and not even Monkey is there. He sent the pup to sleep somewhere else. He did not want to accidentally hurt him if he went crazy in one of his tantrums. Old Chuck Bass would have throw the biggest party in NY City, get as high a kite and forget all about the love of his life tying the knot with someone who was not him.

He sighs. He feels pathetic. He takes out his jacket and his bow tie, and throws himself to bed. It used to smell like her. Not anymore. Not ever again.

He lost her. He wants to scream in rage and hit something, but he has not more energy left.

Someone enters the suite. But is not Blair. Blair's heels make a distinct sound.

"Chuck" His sister's voice is full of pity and concern.

He does not want her pity, not her concern. So he ignores her. Maybe if she thinks he is asleep he will let him be. No such luck. That happens when the people whose drama you are involved in, know you since the tender age of 5. She sits on his bed.

"Can we talk? Blair is still missing and..."

He does not care. He can't care anymore. He does not open his eyes, hoping Serena will take the hint. He can`t help. He does not have anything left.

Serena is clueless as ever or maybe she just does not care.

"She left. She suddenly left and nobody knows where she is. I thought she may be here. That she may reconsider..."

Why would she? She did not choose him. She left him.

"Obviously she is not" he answers not turning around to look at her.

"Dan is missing too" she continues, without a care of being ignored. "I think she is with him. But why will Blair run away with Dan? I mean, I know they are friends, but we are the breakfast club and…I told Dan I love him…because I do and…why would he leave me? And Blair…"

Serena keeps babbling, but he is not hearing anymore, he suddenly is angry, his blood boils. Really? Really? Run away with Humphrey? He knows Dan loves Blair How could he not?. She is Blair fucking Waldorf. And he could let Blair be Lonely Boy´s muse. Nothing wrong with that. But that Blair chose Dan to disappear with? His stomach lurches and he can swear his heart just crack.

Suddenly Serena is embracing him from behind. He realizes he is shaking and that he is sobbing like a small child. He wants to stop, wants to push Serena away from him but instead finds himself turning around and burying his face in her chest and letting everything out.

All his pain,loss and fear, comes out in waves of darkness that floods his senses. He cannot see, he cannot hear, and he does not care. This sucks. This should not be happening. He changed, he became the man she wanted. He loves her, she loves him..why? Why I lose everything I loves? He despairs. He feels like he is going insane. Serena is his only line to reality, the only warmth in a world that suddenly has turn too cold. It hurts. Like hell.

Serena is crying too, not that he notices. She stops talking about Dan and forgets about him the second she notices the shaking coming from Chuck.

She instinctually hugs him when heart wrenching sobs fill the silent room. He tenses for a second, and suddenly he turns around and breaks down. Totally breaks down.

Serena bits her lip. She is worried. She has never seen Chuck cry like this before not even after Bart . Chuck Bass does not break down.

But the true is Chuck Bass has always been broken. Even thought, he became a better man despite all the odds saying otherwise. Nobody believe in him and he manage to be a decent person. He just showed it by letting Blair take the decision instead of playing one of his little games. And know she is afraid that all that hard work, everything he has manage is going to be toss away in pain and frustration.

So he lets him cry and starts rubbing circles in his back in an attempt to comfort him, and it appears to her that he is crying not only for yesterday events, he is crying for his past, for his present and probably for his future. And she cries with him because Dan left and Blair left and Chuck is broken maybe this time for good and this is a mess.

Time goes by and eventually the sobs are gone and a tear streak Chuck Bass is staring at her with so much sadness and so much despair that she does what she knows best.

She kisses him. Serena knows her value and knows she is more than just a pretty face and a fabulous body but being a creature of pleasure and beauty is something she excels in. She has looked for approval and love in this way countless of time, never finding it, but sometimes she finds solace in the thoughtless act of sex making, never love, because love is something Serena seems to be unable to find. And she kisses him, because Chuck is a creature of flesh and passion like her and she needs to take that horrible look from his face.

Also...she is lonely. And she is hurting.

Chuck is surprised at first but accepts the kiss. Serena´s mouth is warm and needy. And he needs, craves warm and to be need. So he responds, and suddenly he is on top of her, his hands cradling her head, her hair is all wrong, too long, blond and sunny, no chocolate dark, and his other hand traveling over her legs that are too long, hips too wide to be perfect, to be Blair´s. Funny thing Blair always thought Serena was better than her and in this moment Charles Bass the only thing capable of doing while kissing and touching this woman is comparing her to Blair and finding everything wrong, because Blair´s body, Blair´s hair, Blair´s scent, Blair´s mouth, everything Blair is means perfection to him. And Serena is not Blair, so everything is wrong and is never going to get better.

Chuck´s reaction is fierce and he is losing himself and Serena finds she is enjoying this too much . His hands travel her body and hesitate just a second when he reaches her legs but the next second they continue their intrepid exploration. Chuck is good, has always been good. When they were entering their teens, they explore each other, they have always been the precocious kids of the NBCS club. He seems to remember everything, and she knows this is wrong, should not be happening but is the only thing right now she can offer and besides, really? She is enjoying herself. This makes her forget how her gran gesture was ignore.

He stops suddenly and slides next to her. She is not Blair and he has no right in using her like that. She was offering comfort the only way she knows and he was taking advantage of it. Serena is delicious and sexy and pretty as always, but she is not Blair and he is not going to do that again. Jenny Humphrey was a mistake and he now learns from his mistakes

She closes her eyes and feels a little disappointed he stopped but is grateful too. The consequences will have been terrible. She starts getting up, feeling shame so she stands up and straightens her dress. He has turn his back to her.

When she is about to leave, she hears his voice.

"Serena...stay...please" He sounds exhausted. "I just...nothing will happen...just...don`t leave"

Serena goes back to bed. The fall asleep shortly after it. Tomorrow, was going to be another day. And maybe it will look better.