Have you ever wondered what Sora would be like drunk? Well, here's your answer. It all started on a Thursday during summer when Leon was asking Sora for a favor.
"Sora I need a favor."
"Sure Leon."
"Can you clean my room for me tonight?"
"No way in hell Leonhart."
"Please, I have a date with Cloud tonight."
"I have a breakfast date with Riku tomorrow so I need my rest."
"Please Sora."
"No, you just wanna go on a date with Cloud so you can screw with him again." Leon then covered his hands on Sora's mouth before Yuffie heard them.
"Sora, please your like the brother I don't have."
"Fine, but it comes with a price."
"How much?"
"Two hundred munny." Leon's jaw dropped to the floor when he heard Sora's price and Sora just looked at him with his 'WTF?' face.
"What now Leon?"
"Did you mean in cash or check?"
"Cash."
"Dammit, last time I ask a seventeen year-old to clean my room for me." Leon then pulled out two hundred munny and handed it to Sora.
"Pleasure doin' bussiness with you Leon!" Sora then went into Leon's junkyard room and started cleaning away. After Sora cleared out the last of the clutter he noticed a mini fridge that said 'Leon's Drinks. Do NOT Touch. Cid, Sora, Cloud, Yuffie, Tifa, Merlin, Riku, Aerith this means you.' Sora then disobeyed Leon's note and touched the fridge because Leon wasn't here to stop him.
"Hmmm, what's this?" Sora said picking up a chilled flask with some alcohol in it and Sora took a sip and immediately gagged.
"Ugh. How does Leon drink this?" Sora then moved on to a bottle of wine, took it out and took a little sip. Hey, this isn't so bad. he thought as he moved on to a can of beer and then he started to slowly drain Leon of his beer supply. In a matter of a few minutes Sora was drunk. Sora then stumbled out of Leon's room and fell down the stairs landing on his ass.
"Ow, my ass." Told ya, but then Aerith found Sora and rushed over to him.
"Sora! Are you alright?"
"I'm more than alright sweet cheeks." Sora slurred.
"Breathe on me Sora." Sora did as he was told and breathed on Aerith.
"Yuffie! Tifa! Come here!" Aerith yelled as she held the drunken Sora.
"What Aerith? We were off screen you know."
"Whatever Tifa, smell Sora's breath it has alcohol on it. Since you're a bartender you'll be able to tell what got him drunk."
"Okay, hand me mini-Leon." Tifa then sniffed Sora's breath and immediately knew what Sora was drunk off of.
"Well?" Yuffie asked as she had her camera prepared to start recording.
"Sora's drunk off a mixture of vodka, bourbon, wine and beer."
"Sora sweetie, how'd ya get drunk?"
"I was cleaning out Squallybaby's room when I came across a... mini thingy like what we has in the kitchen then I starts to drink what was in there -hic-. But there was a note that told me, Cid, Cloud, you, Tifa, Merlin, Yuffie and Riku not to drink anything, but I didn't listen!"
"Dammit, who the hell knew Leon drinks?" Tifa said
"Who cares? This will make great blackmail later." Yuffie said as she started to take the video.
"Yuffie, don't start recording just yet. Wait until Leon and Cloud get here then we can use this as blackmail for all three of them."
"Why only blackmail? Whay not purplemail or redmail or bluegreenmail or... or..." with his voice trailing off he ended his sentence right there.
"Let's wait until Leon and Cloud get here so I can kill Leon." Aerith said, then the girls went to the couch with the poor little drunken Sora.
Two hours later Cloud and Leon came back to the house where in the living room sat an angry Aerith, a giggling Yuffie, a laughing Tifa, and a goofier than usual Sora.
"Why the hell is Sora weirder than usual?" Cloud asked looking at Sora.
"Ask your boyfriend." Aerith said coldly
"Leon?"
"Is Sora drunk?"
"Yes I is Squallybaby! Hey! Let's go naked running!" Sora said taking his clothes off and making a run for it with Yuffie close behind him with her video camera and Cloud following behind Yuffie leaving Aerith, Tifa, and Leon alone.
"Leon, do you drink?"
"No, what gave you that idea?" Leon lied looking the other way.
"Because Sora's drunk off a mixture of vodka, bourbon, wine and beer and he says he got it from your room when he cleaned it out for you."
"Fine, so I drink. Big deal."
"Leon, why do you drink?" Aerith asked with puppy eyes like her boyfriend.
"You do not know how hard it is being the head of the restoration commitee."
"Leon, you could've come to us if you had a problem we would've been glad to help."
"I know and I'm sorry." Just then Cloud entered the room.
"Sorry for ruining your Hallmark Channel moment, but we have a problem."
"What is it Cloud?" Leon asked conserned because it was his fault Sora was drunk.
"You know that cliff that over looks the Bailey?" They nodded yes, "Well Sora's taking a leak over the cliff."
"What!" Aerith snapped officially ready to kill Leon.
"Yuffie gave him a large root beer that a guy gave to us for free because he thought Sora was a nudist, then Sora was 'naked running' some more until he had to pee, then we ran to the cliff over looking the Bailey and then Sora starting peeing from the cliff and Yuffie told me to come and get you guys while she was getting video." Leon and Tifa were laughing as Aerith was fuming. She then looked confused when she saw her two friends laughing non-stop.
"The hell are you two laughing for! Sora might commit accidental suicide!"
"Uh, nothing let's go get Sora before he takes a dump off the cliff too." They then ran oout of the house and as luck would have it they ran into Sora in a dress.
"Why is Sora in a dress Yuff?" Leon asked trying not to laugh at Sora.
"Oh, that's easy I was getting annoyed with all the video I have of Sora naked so I took him into the only store that would let Sora come in even though he was in the nude. You know, the Clothed Nudist place that gives nudits' clothes after they changed anyways, they ran out of boy's clothes so we had to pick from the girl's clothes and Sora picked a dress that was in his size. But when we were walking out, Sora was close to losing whatever innocence he had left because he'd picked out a tube dress that fit him, so we want back into the store and I picked out this frilly piece and here we are now. Besides I'm only recording until there's nothing to record anymore."
"Can we go home now Mommy?" Sora slurred tugging on Aerith's arm
"C'mon, let's get you home so I can kill Leon in the privacy of our place." She said glaring at Leon while he looked away. When they got home Sora threw the dress off and got his other clothes back on.
"Good to be out of my girl girly clothes Squallybaby, can I have some uh... thingy things that goes in my mouth and comes out my ass?"
"Food?"
"Yea, those things Squallybaby."
"Okay, what do you want to eat Sora?"
"I want fried chicken!"
"Okay, does anyone know how to cook fried chicken?" Leon asked
"I do." Cloud answered and everyone just looked at him like he just grew boobs.
"What? I like cooking fried chicken for myself. Where do you think I always get that delicous fried chicken from whenever I come over?"
"Oh, no need to be a Negative Nancy about enjoying cooking for yourself." Tifa assured
"Who's Negavtive Nancy? Mommy?"
"It's a saying So, Cloud start cooking Sora fried chicken so he gets some food."
"Food. That's a funny word. Foood, fooooood, foooooooooooddddddd!" Our little drunk hero then started to pound on the table as Cloud started cooking the chicken with Leon's help. This should be good.
"Leon, do you guys have any vegetable oil anywhere?"
"Yeah, in the cabinets. Why?"
"I use vegetable oil in my fried chicken Squallybaby."
"I'm letting Sora get away with it because I got him drunk, but you do not call me Squallybaby." Just then Sora came in the kitchen God help Leon and Cloud.
"Hey guys! I go' a new one fur ya. Wanna here it?"
"Enlighten us Sora."
"Okay Squallybaby, what has spiky hair, carrys a big ass sword, and has Emostigma?"
"I don't know Sora, what does?" Leon asked smirking because he knew who Sora was talking about.
"My daddy Cloud!" Leon then bursted out laughing as Cloud dropped the bottle of vegetable oil.
"Great now we know when Sora's drunk he thinks Aerith is his mother and I'm his father."
"But Daddy, Aerith's not my Mommy."
"Then who is Sora?"
"Squallybaby's my Mommy!" Now it was Cloud's turn to burst out laughing while Leon just stood there with his own 'WTF?' face.
"What?"
"Yeah, it makes sense Squallybaby, I mean yur the chick in this relationship." Cloud kept laughing as Leon just stood there ready to kill Sora, sure he was the woman in the relationship, but really?
"Oh c'mon! Why would I be the mother?"
"You're always taking Cloud on dates so that he could go 'WOOHOO' with you." Cloud just stared at Leon while Leon just paled.
"That's why you always want to go an a date with me?"
"I'm sorry."
"Leon, if you wanted to do that more, then you should've just moved in with me. I forgive you sweetie."
"You do?"
"Yeah, let's get this chicken fried before Sora starts munching on the dinner table." An hour later, Cloud and Leon came out of the kitchen with a plate of fried chicken and handed it to Sora who immediatly started to pig out on his food.
By the time Sora was done he was just running around looking for something which caught Cloud's eye.
"Sora, what are you doing?"
"I'm thirsty! Where's the dizzy juice!" Sora yelled
"Leon got rid of the dizzy juice Sora."
"Why?"
"Just look at yourself. Your are drunk!"
"Shut up! Now I want to watch TV!"
"Hell no."
"I said I wanna watch TV."
"And I said hell no!" Sora then started to hit Cloud who was taking the punches like they were nothing, but in reality they hurt like hell. 'Damn! Who knew Sora was a bad drunk?' It took Cloud two hours until he finally gave in.
"Fine! We'll go to the living room so that you can watch TV!"
"Yays! Then maybe afterwords we can go naked running again."
"Yeah yeah, what the fuck ever mini-Leon." The guys then went downstairs and luckily no one was there, but Yuffie's camera was there because she had left her camera there because she herad Sora and Cloud coming to the living room.
"What do you wanna watch Sora?"
"I wanna watch a movie! How 'bout we watch Hoodwinked?"
"That's a retarded movie and there's no way-"
"YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH HOODWINKED AND LOVE IT!"
"Whatever you say." Cloud said now blushing red and heart pounding with fear, man. Sora is a really bad drunk. Finally the movie was over and Cloud was asleep. When he woke up he was panicing because Sora was nowhere to be seen! Cloud then went up to Leon's room figuring Sora might be there. He was right. Sora was huddled in a corner drinking a bottle of wine. Quietly approached Sora and used the element of surprise to pounce on him, only to be proved wrong because he just pounced on Leon.
"What the hell Cloud?"
"I thought you were Sora!"
"Why would you think I was Sora?"
"Because he threatened me into watching some crappy movie called Hoodwinked and I fell asleep on the movie and when I woke up Sora was gone so I came up here to see if he were here."
"Oh! He's with Yuffie, Aerith and Tifa."
"Why didn't you tell me that the first time?"
"Because I wanted to see what Sora threatened you into doing."
"Care to explain why he's with the girls?"
"Since Sora's in his drunk state they decided to take advantage of the situation and dress him up in girl's clothes so Yuffie had to get her camera back. That and he threatened to go naked running again if they couldn't think of anything."
"Then why were you huddled in the corner drinking a bottle of wine?"
"I was getting one last look before I tossed it."
"Okay, they in Yuff's room?"
"You know it." Cloud then walked to Yuffie's room where stood Sora in a mini skirt, tube top, and make-up. Sora looked like one of those has-been broken down actresses looking to do anything to be in the spotlight. Cloud just tried to stop himself from laughing.
"How do I look Daddy?"
"You look.. uh... nice Sora."
"Yay! I wanna go naked running!" Sora then started to take his clothes off again, but as if by good timing Leon came in and stopped Sora before he did anything.
"No Sora. No naked running."
"Awwww, Mommy's a kill joy."
"Then what do yoou want to do now Sora?"
"I want to eat ice cream!" Sora shouted. Just then there was a knock at the door and Cloud was the first to answer.
"Hello and- Oh my crap! What are you doing here Sephiroth?"
"I heard around town that a certain spiky haired brunette was running naked in town and took a leak off the cliff that over looks the Bailey. What was that about?"
"Long story short never ask Sora to clean your room for you knowing you have a mini fridge full of booze hidden somewhere."
"Leon asked Sora to clean his room because you two were going on a date as Sora was almost finished he came across the fridge and got curious and in a matter of a few curious minutes he's drunk?"
"If ya put it that way then yes. That's what happened."
"Say no more Cloud. You have to deal with a drunk Sora." After that Sephiroth left. Sora then came out of nowhere and glomped on Cloud making the swordsman tople backwords and fall on him.
"Cloud! When did you get here?"
"Leon help me!" His lover came running down the stairs and got Sora off of him with Yuffie (of course) following with her camera.
"I'm bored now! Oh well. One thing to do."
"What would that be Sora?" Yuffie asked
"Naked running in the house!" sora said as he (again) took his clothes off and started running with Yuffie close behind him.
"He's doing it again Cloud."
"I know."
"Wanna stop him before he does anything stupid?"
"Yea, I think Yuffie's getting bored with all the film she has of Sora naked. Then they kissed, about two seconds later Yuffie screams.
"OH MY GOD SORA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" After that outburst they quickly ran to her room and were horrified at what they saw.
"What is Sora wearing Yuff?" Leon asked with his face as red as a beat,
"I don't know Sora just picked it up and put it on! How was I supposed to know he'd eventually pick it up?"
"Whatever. Just make sure you get a lot of film of him in that thong." Yes, a thong. Sora is in a red thong dancing around like an idiot while three people were watching him. twenty minutes later Sora finally passed out.
The next morning Sora was in the bathroom puking his guts out. After the vomiting episode was over he went down in the kitchen with a terrible headache.
"Hey Sora how are ya feeling?" Leon asked
"Terrible. Was I always wearing a red thong?"
"You passed out in it last night."
"Passed out?"
"You got drunk last night."
"How'd I- Oh crap when I cleaned out your room for you. Did I go mad?"
"Yes, you went naked running, dressed up in drag a couple times, had Cloud make you fried chicken, called me and Cloud your mom and dad, ate ice cream, beat up Cloud until he agreed to watch a movie with you, went naked running around the house, put on that red thong you're wearing right now and keep it because now that you wore it Yuff ain't takin' it back and you took a leak off the cliff over looking the Bailey."
"At least you guys didn't make a video."
"Ummm... that's what you think."
"Yuffie taped this didn't she?"
"Yes and she made copies to remember last night." Just then Riku came in with an evil smirk on his face.
"I can get use to you when you're drunk Sora."
"Shut up." Later Cloud came in drunk and wearing a blue dress. Oh no. Now they have to deal with a drunk Cloud.
Me: How was that? If you liked then leave a review.
Zack: If you hated it as much as I did then just click the back button right now.
Me: That is all the time we have join us in the next story.