"Somebody" by Aromagik

Title: Somebody
Author: Aromagik (aromagik@yahoo.com)
Written: 03/01/01
Rating: R (Nothing too bad in part 1, but part 2 earns the rating for language. Sorry.)
Description: A sappy little songfic about Max's thoughts as she sits alone in her pad at the end of 'The Kidz Are Aiight'. This is my first fanfic of any kind, so feedback would be scha-weet!
Disclaimer: Of course they're not mine, silly! Seriously, though, no infringement intended. "Somebody" is probably the sole property of Depeche Mode, or more likely the record company that produced it.
A/N: I'm not sure this song is at the beginning of the second side of the cassette, but it's got to be darn close, and it fits the story. Oh yeah, and I changed the gender of the pronouns in the song too. Give me a pen & I think I'm a poet… Heeee!
Mas N de la A: Quite honestly, I never thought I'd write a fanfic. But I was listening to an old mix tape on the way home from work today (CD player's busted *grrr*) and this song that I haven't thought about for years hasn't left my mind since.
Archive: Sure, if you want. Just let me know where you're putting it - - it'll make me smile. (=
Thanks: To my husband, Todd, for beta'ing this for me, and for understanding that his wife has her moments of girly sappiness from time to time. I love him more than life itself.

SOMEBODY
 Part One

"It's raining again," Max said to herself with a sigh. She walked listlessly into the living room, unable to shed the images of the night's events that were consuming her thoughts and battering her brain. Wasn't it enough that she had found - - and subsequently lost her sister Tinga? And the look in Zack's eyes… How many times could she disappoint him before he decided to write her off forever? Didn't Logan, of all people, realize that she had needed him tonight - - if not to comfort her in the way that she so desperately craved, at least in the companionable friendship they had obviously established? Was a crummy game of mindless chess so much to ask? 'Damn. I really blew it this time. But if he hadn't been so goddamn stubborn, I wouldn't have had to body slam his ego like that. Guess Manticore didn't find it necessary to program their killing machines to be diplomats,' she thought with chagrin.

"Cindy's out, and even Kendra's gone for the night - - probably with Walter", she said aloud. 'OK, Max, gotta stop talking to yourself, girl. It's too quiet in here. And the thoughts in my head are so loud, loud, LOUD! I need to chill and take my mind off for a while. Maybe try some of that yoga Kendra's been trying to get me to do with her.' She walked over to the antique cassette player she had scored for Kendra's last birthday. It was funny that cassettes were dirt cheap & plentiful, but nice, clean-sounding CD's were a hot commodity. So Kendra's collection of eclectic pre-pulse music was filling out nicely. Fighting the urge to alphabetize the cassettes 'can't let yourself slip into an obsessive-compulsive coma, girl,' she fingered through the blue cardboard box the tapes called home.

She spotted a new cassette in the collection, and picked it up for closer inspection. She recognized the band name, and the album title and cover art looked intriguing. 'Depeche Mode, Some Great Reward. I heard their early stuff was pretty cutting-edge for its time, but they got lame and sold out near the end of their careers. I wonder if this one's any good,' she mused.

Popping the tape into the player, she rewound to the beginning of the second side and hit the play button.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details

Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me...

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it...

In a case like this
I'll get away with it...

As the song ended and the next began, Max felt a single tear roll down her cheek and onto her knee. She hadn't even realized that she had curled up in a tight little ball on the floor, sitting and rocking, with her knees pulled up to her chest. The haunting lyrics spoke to her soul, as if they knew not only what was in her head, but also the things she tried so hard to deny - - that which she knew in her heart to be true. 'I do want that. Heaven help me, I really do. Someone who understands me - - the real me. Someone who cares for me passionately, even if we don't always agree. I've spent so much energy pushing it away, but I can't keep denying that I'm mostly human. I've carefully tried to steer clear of being tied to anyone's strings. But I know that there's more to what I have with Logan than the hormone-induced sweaty palms I get when I look into his cerulean blue eyes, and see him looking back at me, his eyes dancing with the same pent-up desire. We've connected, he and I, and I'm tired of pretending it isn't happening. I'm still scared to death that he's in constant danger because of me, but we reached a point of no return tonight when Eyes Only saved my sibs with his televised warning. He's made Lydecker's shit list, and no one's ever made it off of that list alive. Nothing's gonna change that now,' she thought, as she absent-mindedly tied her shoe. 'I wonder if he's still awake,' she wondered. 'He said he had a lot of work to do. Maybe I'll go see if he's still pissed at me. Maybe he needs comforting just as much as I do, even if he does have a pathetic way of showing it. Maybe I'll plant a big smooch on his beautiful lips before he even has a chance to say hello. Maybe in a case like this, I'll get away with it…' she thought as she headed out into the rainy night, motoring her way toward her "Somebody".

~FIN PARTE UNO~
 Aromagik 03.01.01

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