Brother, Dearest Thou Art

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's N: No incest, though the title may make it sound like there is. Simply lots of brotherly love.


I picked gloomily at the white rose that adorned many of the Cair's hallways. Somewhere in my soul I knew that I should be rejoicing, but I could not find the will to do so. I had sought solitude, knowing my siblings would pick up on my feelings otherwise, and I had not wanted to distress them with my own thoughts. I had known that this day was long coming, but... but... I had not expected it to be so soon... I had not expected...

I had not expected to lose my brother.

For however I looked at it, that was what was happening. My brother, my dearest friend, my confidant, my ally... my King... was being torn from me. Worse yet was that he was being torn willingly. If there had been enemies at our door I would not have let him go. But with my only enemy being the love he had decided he'd found (after declining so many), with what weapons could I fight? I could not use emotions to toy with him as I once had; our bond was stronger than that, and I felt no desire to hurt him, despite the pain he was (unintentionally) bestowing upon me.

I was supposed to be Just. I was supposed to be – by Aslan's mane – the Just King of Narnia. And I was behaving like a spoilt child. Blow it... I was still a child. Eighteen, perhaps, but ... but...

I could find nothing justified about the anger and annoyance I felt towards the one who had stolen my brother away. It was ridiculous, utterly inconceivable that I be jealous of this... but I was. I was terrified. Four years had shown me that Peter was the greatest ally a brother could ever want. Where once I had pushed him aside now I embraced him fully; allowed him to soothe the edges of my darkened heart.

He was my brother.

And she could not have him.

Without warning I felt the ground beneath me lurch. The prospect of losing Peter was harsh enough – the thought that Peter might... want to be lost to me was excruciatingly painful. I found myself suddenly needing more air than Cair Paravel could supply. I ran, without thought, bolting from the Castle, knowing not where I ran to, simply... running. Eventually I found myself at the Stone Table, and almost collapsed against it – tears that I could not reason falling hard and fast. Grateful for the silence around me, I clenched at the stone, pouring my grief out in solace. "Merciful Aslan..." I choked out, softly. "Please, do not take him from me..."

Time passed, as, regrettably, it always seems to. I stood eventually, knowing I would have to return, have to explain my absence to Peter, and try not to anger him. I knew he knew of my disapproval... and that he waved it aside as merely jealousy that I had not found a bride of my own. If only he knew the truth. I wanted no bride, could not ever imagine being ... married (the very word made me shudder), but what was being taken from me was too much to comprehend.

As I began to make the walk back to the Cair, however, the sound of a whinnying horse met my ears. I knew that whinny well enough that it caused a weary smile. Phillip. The smile faltered almost immediately as I realised there was only one way he could have known where I was. Peter. Peter had noticed I was missing, and sent Phillip to scout for me. Which meant Peter knew I had left Which meant he would be angry with me for leaving. I sighed heavily, shaking my head. I moved to meet the horse – surprised to see him followed by my own brother on his white steed. The relief on Peter's face at finding me was enough to guilt me as he slid from the Unicorn and embraced me tightly.

"By the Lion, Ed!" he exclaimed eventually. "When Su told me you were missing I..." he shook his head. I sighed against his shoulder, unwilling to let the embrace go even as he pulled away. He frowned. "Ed?" Concern flashed across his eyes as I refused to meet them, and he gently placed a hand on my cheek, forcing my chin gently up so he could read my expression. "What's this, brother?" he asked softly. "what ails thee?"

I shook my head. "Is naught but a shadow of a doubt, brother," I tried to reassure, without realising slipping into the Narnian speech we now knew in an attempt to keep the emotion from my words. "A doubt that is, in any case, not mine to have." I hesitated "Peter... forgive me for questioning this but..."

He frowned as I paused. "Continue?" he gently prompted. I sighed.

"The Lady..." I hesitated, barely able to say the title she'd been graced with. "You are truly... happy with her?"

To my astonishment and outright disbelief he let out a light chortle. "Aslan bless and keep you, brother!" He pressed a kiss atop my head that I could hardly understand. "Here I worry that you have perhaps found some dislike to the Lady, and yet all you do is worry for my feelings." He shook his head. "Fear not, brother dearest, for the Lady is close to my heart, closest perhaps than she ought to be..." he shrugged. "but love is nay unstoppable, is it not"

I sighed. That is precisely what I am concerned for. I managed a smile. "think nothing more of my thought, Peter brother." I said softly. "T'was but passing momentum."

"And passing ridicule!" he added with a chortle. I flinched, and nodded. "Aye."

"Now, no more of this foolishness, Ed, we should return for the Lady shall be looking for me, and I would return to her." I hesitated.

"might I linger a while? I shall return before the celebrations start." I promised. Peter turned to me slowly, and I felt his gaze burn through my eyes. Without warning he strode to my side, pulling me into a crushing hug. For what seemed like an age we stood there in silence, my brothers arms embracing me close.

Eventually, he dropped his head pressing a kiss firm to my forehead. "Brother, thou art most dearest to me above all," he promised. Without another word he moved to his steed, hoisting himself up and turning from me. As he began to ride away, he glanced back. "I shall expect you back within the hour!" he warned, before galloping off into the distance.

I shook my head, defeated. Phillip whinnied and trotted to my side, nudging my shoulder with his nose. I closed my eyes, moving to him and pressing my face into his neck, stroking his mane without a word. "you must tell him," the horse said eventually, with a soft whinny that I supposed should have been a whine. I shook my head.

"What good would it do, Phillip? He loves her..." the words sounded wrong, foreign on my tongue. "He is happy."

"You know if he knew then he would not spend a mere moment by her side," The horse said softly. I bit my lip, falling silent. Truth was, I wasn't sure what Peter would do. He had never... loved anyone outside his own family the way I had seen him love with this woman. I could not understand the attraction to her myself, but then perhaps my protection over Peter, my brother, went past all that.

"Perhaps." I said softly, though my heart disagreed. In heavy silence I walked side by side with Phillip, the knowledge of what had been and passed, and what was yet to come silencing me utterly as we made our way back to the Cair, Peter, and a world I was certain was about to change forever.

Author's N: Reviews are much appreciated, please.