Well, here I am making an Alternate Universe story, something I never thought I would do. I wrote it in two days as the idea was quite spontaneous and growling to be written. This is another Shikaten. I don't know why but I've developed a great love for this couple and I really don't know why. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it and, um, if you do let me know. I love reviews. :D
Thank you Deenatweety for being my beta reader. ;3
Pushing the rickety shopping cart through the automatic doors, Shikamaru scratched his small patch of stress hives and heaved several heavy sighs.
It was just another mundane Monday, and after a long day of teaching Logics to bratty college kids at his private university, Shikamaru had to spend the remainder of his evening completing the troublesome task of grocery shopping.
He trudged down the medicinal aisle searching for a deal on anti-inflammatory ointment. A small portion of his thought process was used to calculate the cheapest unit price on the array of products, while the other part was used to drabble in his inductive reasoning skills, the process of deriving a reliable generalization from observations.
He remembered picking up a classical novel at the library and reading a small section on how human will was one of the strongest forces in the universe.
If human will was such a strong force, then I would be at home, sitting in my chair, cigarette in mouth, reading the logic book I always keep in my back pocket and it would be Saturday. Forever.
He made an audible "tch" as a baby in the next cart over gurgled a giggle.
Shikamaru turned to face the baby with half-lidded eyes, and the infant gazed back with sparkling ones and clapped its pudgy saliva-coated hands together.
What an evil creature, amused by my pain. Shikamaru grimaced. He turned and tossed the chosen ointment into his previously vacant cart, pushing forward toward the deli.
When it happened.
His thin eyes immediately locked onto a young woman moving behind the counter of the deli and Shikamaru knew right away that she was the epitome of his desires.
He'd always loved the dark side of life and here she was, brown bangs framing her sculpted sun-kissed countenance, the rest of her hair pulled back into two buns atop her head. Her brown mahogany eyes were shielded by dark lashes. Shikamaru's eyes traveled down to her pouty lips and he found himself licking his own. Her standard employee apron was pulled tight across her waist, accentuating her curvaceous body.
Shikamaru's hand twitched on the handle of his cart as he imagined tracing the body before him that waved perfectly like water as he pictured himself doing a quick breast stroke.
Suddenly a gruff and immensely pissed of voice called from behind him, "Hey, jackass, are you going to move or not? Step to the side instead of stopping in the middle of the aisle, will ya?"
Being effectively broken from his reverie, Shikamaru blinked his eyes back into focus. He turned around to face the old man as he made a big show of adjusting his glasses with a sole erect middle finger before pushing his cart to the side, allowing the cursing man and several others to proceed down the aisle.
Shikamaru mentally slapped himself. Kami, I must be sexually repressed or something.
Taking a deep and hopefully calming breath, Shikamaru walked down the aisle while averting his eyes from the beautiful brunette butcheress behind the counter as though she were the sun, but seeing her as one sees the sun, without looking. And all the reason in the world seemed to shrivel up like raisins in the smoldering heat.
He made it as far as the cheese section, about 30 steps away, before he caught himself peeking at her through his peripheral vision and right then he know the answer to his previous thought was "or something".
Here he was: Shikamaru Nara, genius of man, lover of logic and he had fallen victim to one of the most illogical emotions ever known to be the bane of man's existence; love.
Crazy, troublesome love. And to make matters worse, he got stuck with the most irrational kind; the phenomenon of love at first sight.
He fumbled with the gourmet cheese. all the while watching her from the corner of his eyes, mesmerized by the swing of her hips like a pendulum, as she moved to attend to the next customer.
Shikamaru was getting hot under the collar and his hands desperately shot up to loosen the noose that working men called a "tie". But, he knew the only relief he would get would come from the woman behind the counter.
Shikamaru prided himself in not lonely his intelligence and strategical skills, but also his straight forward manner. He was going to ask her out.
Shikamaru knew he couldn't just walk up to her and ask her out. He didn't even know her name, and would probably only succeed in creeping her out. No, he needed a plan and a plan he had.
Still averting his eyes, as to not lose his resolve to her stifling beauty, he moved across the deli to the red ticket dispenser at the end of the counter.
He proceeded to count five butchers behind the counter. Therefore, if he dispensed himself the same number of tickets, she would be sure to call his number. Shikamaru smirked because his plan was constituent, valid, sound, and infallible. He would ensure she'd be handling his meat next.
Shikamaru stood erect, chest pushed slightly out, holding his breath, as he calculated each butcher's speed and order size. His terra cotta eyes flew across each employee, cutting the data into concise cubes and filing them in their proper place. He reached the conclusion that she would be done first.
And as Shikamaru watched her plum-pink lips formed the number sixty-nine, he could just feel a section of his nerves shatter.
He shoved the unused tickets back into his pockets as he stepped forward to complete his plan, first by trying his hardest to look sexy in the white button up shirt that his mother had starched stiff.
Her brown orbs locked onto his and Shikamaru was truly a goner, his throat suddenly becoming tight. His knees almost buckled under the unrelenting heat she was giving off, as she offered him a friendly smile and asked, "How can I help you?"
Well, for starters, you could release this sudden merciless grip you have on my heart, you beautiful vixen, and give me back my logic, because I'm a reasonable man and I'll never understand the troublesome emotion that others so commonly refer to as love.
Shikamaru wanted to say "hi" and use a cheesy pick-up line just to break the ice, even though they only had a success rate of 38%, but she looked like a fun-loving girl. Or he could just say anything so that he, too, may capture her as she so unknowingly did him, but all that came out was a squeak.
Shikamaru desperately wanted to bash his face bloody against the glass display case in an attempt to "knock some common sense" into his genius brain.
But, right at that moment, the swivel doors leading to the back of the deli swung open and out stepped a tall man with short black hair, a green dress shirt pulled much too tightly across his muscular chest. He walked up to the young women and Shikamaru.
"My youthful employee, I must insist that you take your break so that you may regenerate your vigor!" the older man boomed.
"Yes, Manager Gai, right away, sir," she answered politely back.
She turned to Shikamaru and offered him an apologetic smile before turning and disappearing into the back.
Shikamaru knew he must have looked pretty destroyed and pitiful because Manager Gai's beaming smile died down just a fraction.
"Do not worry, sir, a butcher will be with you right away." The man turned his grin back up to its full force and left Shikamaru to wallow in his failure.
He had created a fallacy, a plan with poor reasoning because he had forgotten to include outside variables.
Shikamaru wanted to break something so that it would match the state of his heart, but at that moment a familiar and calming voice washed over him.
"Her name is Tenten."
He brought his gaze up to see none other than his best friend, Choji Akimichi. So caught up in the young woman he was that he forgot that Choji was working today.
Shikamaru took a deep breath before exhaling, "Tch. Am I that transparent?"
Choji crunched a chip from his apron pocket. "Nah. It's just that I've you known you so long."
He looked up at his comrade and said, "I don't understand these kinds of troublesome feelings and it's turning out to be quite a drag."
Choji smiled mischievously and reached across the counter to clamp a hand on his shoulder. "Here's a little tip, man, she likes long walks and sunsets on the beach."
Shikamaru shrugged off his best friend's hand and gave him a playful smirk. "Whatever. We'll see if you're still up for teasing after I kick your ass at the gym tomorrow."
~O~
The temporary good mood instilled in him by his best friend had long since faded as he listened to the mechanical beep of his grocery items being checked out.
Shikamaru just wanted to go home, strip down naked, lay in bed with the covers over his head, and watch one of his mom's Spanish romance movies.
He paid his bill, stuffed the receipt into one of his plastic bags, and pushed the cart back out the automatic doors.
Shikamaru threw the bags into the back of his car, not caring if the laundry detergent landed on the eggs, when he heard a voice calling his name.
His brain automatically recognized the voice as the same one that he had stored in the recesses of his mind so that he may never forget its sweet octaves.
When he turned around, he wondered if the sushi he had eaten for dinner was spoiled and if what he saw ahead of him now was merely a hallucination.
It was her, Tenten, running toward him, calling his name and waving her arm in the air. She stopped about a foot in front of him.
"Hi, are you Professor Shikamaru Nara?"
Shikamaru could feel his throat tightening again as he stared into those smiling duel droplets of chocolate. He managed to nod "yes".
Tenten's eyes left his for a moment as she reached to her side pulling out the logics book he always kept in his back pocket.
"I thought I saw you drop this and your name and occupation were written on the front cover," she said as way of explaining before handing over the item.
She looked up at him through the thick lashes that he had so casually admired earlier that day, a light blush dusting her cheeks, she reached up to tuck a brown tresses behind he ear and said, "I'm actually taking this course right now over at the University of Konoha and I'm not really understanding the topic of mathematical logics. I was wondering if you would stay with me for coffee today. And don't worry; I'll pay you for your time."
For once, Shikamaru was grateful that he had no life outside of work or he may have missed this opportunity. He couldn't help but smile for the first time all day and finally mustering up some wit said, "Of course, ma'am."
The young woman's laughter washed over his ears with its melodic octave, effectively scattering the scarce amount of wits that he had about him and he was grateful that he didn't need to speak anymore because she thanked him and turned to run off into the grocery store.
Over her shoulder she yelled back, "Please, call me Tenten!"
~O~
The sound of music jarred Shikamaru from his memory musings. He stood alert on the alter as Tenten walked down the aisle in her long white dress.
He couldn't help but smile because today was Monday.
Tenten had giggled about it last night, swatting him playfully, joking that their marriage on a "mundane Monday" was an ironic coincidence. As was life.
But Shikamaru was a logical man who didn't believe in coincidence or chance happenings. He handled life with reason.
Tenten gracefully stepped up to be side by side with her husband-to-be and smiled, the sun behind her, haloing her head in a golden shine.
Clasping her silky hands in his, Shikamaru reasoned that Mondays weren't bad at all.