Harry entered the chamber warily. He knew he had to end this, it was all too much. As he turned the corner the statue of Salazar Slytherin came into his imperfect vision. All around the base of the statue were pictures of him and a dishevelled Ginny with the dog-eared diary almost buried under them. A little creeped out Harry approached the ghostly figure that was Tom Marvolo Riddle.
"Tom this has to stop" said Harry. Tom turned around his previously dead looking eyes filled with life at the sight of Harry.
"Did you not like your Valentines card Harry dearest?" asked Tom devotion clearly in his voice.
"Erm … well possessing a teenage girl to write love notes is not a very good idea" answered Harry carefully.
"Oh well just wait for next year" said Tom happily.
"No Tom I want you to leave me alone" said Harry.
"But I love you" said Tom confused.
"Yes but I don't love you and you are creeping me out" confessed Harry. At this Tom staggered back as though physically hit.
Tom looked insanely furious at this making him appear more like his future self "Well if I can't have you then no one can" he declared and proceeded to summon the basilisk.
"Shit" thought Harry, this was not going according to the plan he and Dumbledore had concocted (although he suspected Dumbledore never had much experience in getting rid of stalkers who set a snake on people to get your attention). Pulling the sword concealed beneath his robes - he knew it probably wouldn't go well - Harry eventually managed to slay the basilisk. Unfortunately his robes had been ripped on the basilisks teeth and Tom was now staring in complete fascination at his exposed torso. Using this distraction Harry stabbed the diary - which was the key to Tom's existence - at Ginny's feet with one of the snake's long, protruding fangs.
"How could you do this to me? I will destroy you for this!" screamed Tom as he disintegrated. Finally, when Tom was gone and had finished making stupid remarks, Harry approached Ginny and gently shook her awake.
"Hey I was having a good dream" snapped Ginny as her eyes fluttered open.
"Oh I'm so sorry your highness. I just killed a great, dirty snake and obsessed, psychotic stalker all for you but when its more convenient I'll come back" replied Harry sarcastically. Grabbing Ginny, Harry then stalked out of the chamber not in a good mood.
As Harry climbed out of the entrance into the girls bathroom (scaring several occupants) he marched directly to Dumbledore's office with a proposition.
"Sherbet lemon" said Harry who then clambered awkwardly up the stairs as he was still dragging Ginny.
Hearing Dumbledore calling him in Harry entered the cluttered office leaving Ginny outside.
"Harry my boy, were you successful?" asked Dumbledore pleasantly
"Yeah and if you promise never to give me advice on how to get rid of stalkers again, I'll kill Voldemort. I mean seriously reasoning with a madman is not the best idea you've ever had" said Harry
"Deal" agreed Dumbledore
And so the prophecy came to pass. Also Harry found an easier way to deal with stalkers by getting piercings and blaming it on "rebelling against his 'light' image". Sometimes being a teenager has its advantages.