A Mess of her Own Making
Author's note: For all fans of Nina and Patrick, sadly he doesn't exist in this story.. as this story deals with the fall out from Nina sleeping with Mick. It doesn't exactly go the same way as it did on the show. I know it sounds crazy.. but I've always felt Nina and Mick would actually make a great couple, and if it weren't for Billie... it would have happened years ago.
The story begins with Nina in Baltimore, shortly after her arrival. Enjoy.
She'd been in Baltimore for two weeks, and was enjoying the time away from her families dramas. Despite missing them terribly, she knew she needed this time away in order to be able to allow the events of the last month to settle down, and if she was truly honest with herself she needed to get away from Chris. She knew there was no way she was going to be able to handle watching him get back together with his wife, which is where she was certain they were headed.
She wasn't sure if it was the frenetic pace of the work at John Hopkins, or the strain of the last few weeks, but she was finding it hard to bounce back from the exhaustion she had experienced before she left for Baltimore. It wasn't as though she felt sick, she just felt tired all the time and would collapse into bed after her shifts at the hospital every night, sometimes without even eating dinner.
It wasn't until her third week away that she began to feel sick, the nausea coming on at all times of the day not always causing her to be physically sick, but often. After the third straight day of this, she had to admit that there was something wrong and approached one of her new colleagues Miranda for advice, she had her own suspicions being an obstetrician, but needed someone else to suspect also before she'd believe what her body was telling her.
"Miranda, can I talk to you?" Nina asked her colleague, not sure how to broach this subject with someone she barely knew. A vision of her sister and her reaction to the possible news suddenly hit her and tears formed in her eyes as she thought of hurting her sister again.
"Of course Nina, do we need privacy?" Miranda asked, looking over at her new colleague who was beginning to be come a good friend and noticed the tears in her eyes, she quickly ushered her to one of the unused examination rooms and closed the door locking it behind them.
"Nina, what's wrong?" Miranda asked concerned for her new friend, who seemed lost in thought as she stared into space in front of her.
"Nina" she asked again, shaking her gently to get her attention.
"Oh sorry Miranda, I- er I don't really know how to say this" Nina told her now as she thought of her symptoms and allowed her doctor brain to take over.
"The easiest way is to just say it Nina, I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think" Miranda told her, rubbing her shoulder gently. She really liked Nina, had noticed she did tend to get lost in her own world at times, but she was a very talented doctor and she had a way with pregnant women that showed she was definitely in the right profession.
"Okay - okay, I - I think I might be pregnant" Nina said and promptly burst into tears as she made the confession. All she could see in her mind was how much this was going to hurt her sister.
"Okay Nina, it's going to be okay, let's think about this rationally for a moment, let's go through your symptoms, then we'll do a test and find out, it's going to be okay" Miranda said as she rubbed Nina's shoulder soothingly not knowing whether to hug the woman or not. She was still getting to know her, but she could tell that this situation was upsetting Nina, and she wanted to help in any way that she could.
"I've been tired more than normal, which I put down to the change of pace at this hospital and my family problems before I came here, and for the last few days I've been feeling sick to my stomach often throughout the day, my sensitivity to smell is higher and this morning my breasts were a little sore, oh and I'm pretty sure I'm late" Nina told her colleague tears welling in her eyes again as she heard herself say the symptoms she had been experiencing out loud. The doctor in her knew that the chances of her being pregnant were quite high.
"Okay I think our next step is to do a blood test, just wait here for a moment while I go get the equipment, and we should do a standard pregnancy test also, as it will take at least a day for the blood test results to come back" Miranda said, taking charge of the situation, having a pretty strong feeling what the results would be.
Once Miranda left the room, Nina was left alone with her thoughts and her imagination. Flashes of the night with Mick came to her, making her feel sick to her stomach for the fifth time that day. One night, one disastrous mistake that could ruin her relationship completely with her sister, if the results of this test came back positive.
Her mind filled with scenarios of how things would be if she was pregnant and by the time Miranda returned she was having a full on panic attack. She tried desperately to calm her breathing down and was grateful when Miranda handed her a paper bag so she could try and calm herself down.
"I think we should do the standard pregnancy test first and then the blood test, so how about you take this, now that your calm and I'll see you in a few minutes" Miranda told her, instinctively knowing she needed calm instruction right now. She watched Nina walk into the bathroom shakily and wondered if there was more to this situation than she realised.
Nina came out a few minutes later with the pregnancy test in hand and they sat and waited the couple of minutes for the test to take effect. Miranda looked at the result first and then sighed not sure if Nina could cope with the answer.
"You're pregnant Nina, that's a very strong positive right there" Miranda said taking Nina's hand as she burst into tears again.
"We'll do a blood test to confirm and I'll see if I can get some ultrasound equipment so we can work out how far along you are, but with a result like that and your symptoms I'm pretty confident you are pregnant" Miranda told her, waiting for her to calm down and accept the news.
"Oh God, I suspected but I didn't really, oh my God what am I going to do?" Nina asked as her worst fears came into realisation, she was pregnant with Mick's baby.
"Let's just get through these tests and then we can talk about your options" Miranda said getting into doctor mode, knowing that Nina needed that right now.
"Okay – okay" Nina said still in shock.
Half an hour later they were in front of an ultrasound screen, Nina was lying on the bed with her shirt up and Miranda was gently spreading the gel over Nina's abdomen, she began probing Nina's abdomen with the ultrasound wand and smiled when she located a small embryo in Nina's slightly enlarged uterus, a noise began filtering over the machine, and she looked over at Nina to see tears in her eyes, and knew no matter what was going Nina would be keeping this baby.
"That's the heart beat, which I'm sure you know, you are measuring at roughly 5-6 weeks which seems consistent with your symptoms, you may not feel this way but congratulations Nina, you're definitely pregnant" Miranda told her and expected Nina to burst into tears again but only saw quiet resignation on her face.
"Thank you Miranda, you've been a great help" Nina said as she wiped the gel off her stomach and got up off the bed. She swayed a little as she got up, but kept her footing. She realised she needed to tell someone, and then she needed to work out what she was going to do, whether she should stay in Baltimore or go home. Home, she really wanted to go home, to be with her Mum and her family, but would they really help her if they knew it was Mick's kid?
"Can I ask who the father is? It can't be anyone from here, you've not been here long enough" Miranda said, not sure if she should ask, but had a feeling Nina needed to get this off her chest.
"He's my sister's partner, they broke up and I was having problems with the guy I liked and we both got drunk and well you know what happened next, we used protection but it must have failed, oh God I don't know what I'm going to do, this is going to hurt my sister so much" Nina said thinking of Billie and knowing that she'd only just forgiven her for sleeping with Mick and now this had happened.
"Does she know you slept with him?" Miranda asked wondering if that was the family problems Nina had been escaping when she came here.
"Yes she does, and she's just forgiven me for it and now, oh God she's going to hate me" Nina said as tears formed in her eyes again.
"I'm sure she won't hate you Nina, and to be fair to you, you didn't do anything wrong when you slept with her partner if they weren't together at the time, I mean probably not the best choice, but we all do stupid things when we are drunk" Miranda said, not sure if she was helping the situation at all.
"Yes but I'm going to have to live with this stupid thing for the rest of my life, have a constant reminder that I fucked up" Nina said becoming angry with herself for not ensuring that the condoms worked, for not being on the pill at the time even though she'd been pursuing a relationship with Chris.
"Do you know what you are going to do? Are you going to keep the baby?" Miranda asked, already knowing the answer but needing to ask the question for Nina's sake, she needed to know that it was okay not to keep the baby if she couldn't handle it.
"I could never imagine having an abortion, so I'll be keeping the baby, I just don't know if I should stay here or go back home, my family deserve to know, and I can't hide this from Billie forever, she's going to want to Skype with me and she knows me very well, she'd be able to guess I'm sure of it" Nina said, already knowing what she was going to do but not knowing how to go about it. Of course she was going to go home and face the music. No matter how much this was going to hurt people, Billie deserved to know, and Mick deserved to know he was going to become a father.
"Well take a few days to make up your mind, I won't say anything to anyone in the mean time, but maybe you should go home for the day, take a nice relaxing bath and just clear your head for the moment, you've had a lot to take in and you're beginning to look a little pale" Miranda said just as the paleness on Nina's face turned a little green. She smiled as Nina rushed into the bathroom to empty her stomach contents thinking about the situation Nina was in. She knew Nina was going to be a great mum, she could see it in her when she interacted with the babies, but what a mess she was in, she hoped that her family would support her through this, because she was going to need it.
A few days later Nina was on a plane back to Australia, equipped with maxalon for the nausea and a isle seat in case the medicine failed. The trip was long and draining and she hadn't told anyone she was coming home so she knew she'd have to take a cab home from the airport. She wondered if Billie would be living at Mick's place now or if she was still staying at her apartment. She hoped she'd be staying at Mick's, she didn't know if she'd be able to handle seeing her tonight.
Once the plane landed she got the first cab she could home and was happy to find she was alone when she got there. She collapsed into bed and fell asleep straight away not even bothering to change out of her clothes.
She awoke to movement in her house and got up to investigate and came face to face with her sister who screamed not realising that Nina had been in the house.
"Nina, what are you doing home? I thought you were in Baltimore for another 5 months!" Billie asked as she took her into a hug. It took everything she had not to burst into tears at the sight of her sister.
"Something came up and I had to come home, I'm sorry I didn't call it was a last minute thing" Nina said and ushered for them to sit down. She was feeling a little nauseous and the last thing she wanted was to get sick in front of her sister.
"Are you okay Neens? You look a little pale" Billie asked concerned for her sister but ultimately more interested in why she was home. Had Chris called and told her he wanted to give it a shot, she hoped not, because she had decided that Chris was not good enough for her Neens.
"Yeah I think I'm just jet lagged, it's a long flight from Baltimore" Nina said hoping she'd be able to get through this conversation with out blurting out the news of her pregnancy to her sister.
"You should sleep some more, I'll make you some of your eggs that you like and a milky coffee" Billie said thinking food would make Nina feel a bit better and more refreshed.
"No coffee, it will only keep me awake" Nina said quickly, not wanting to give the real reason she didn't want to drink coffee. Being an obstetrician she was well aware of the restrictions that were now going to be placed on her diet.
"Okay, tea then and eggs?" Billie asked as she got up to put the kettle on.
"Yes thank you, that would be wonderful" Nina said feeling guilty knowing that Billie would not be willing to do this if she knew that she was pregnant with Mick's kid.
"So why did you come home so soon what was this thing that came up?" Billie asked watching her sister and seeing her grow even paler at the question. Something was definitely up with Nina she decided and she wasn't quite sure what it was.
"Can I talk to you about it later? I'm not really up for hashing over the whole thing right now" Nina said hoping that Billie would leave it at that. She was beginning to feel nauseous again and this time felt like it was going to culminate in a mad dash to the toilet. She tried to breath through her nose and out her mouth to counteract the nausea but it wasn't working. Eventually she had to succumb to it and made the mad dash to the toilet hoping Billie wouldn't work out what was happening.
"Neens, where are you, oh God Neens you poor thing are you okay?" Billie asked as she heard the sounds of Nina retching into the toilet. She wanted to go in there and help, but she really couldn't stand the sight of vomit and knew she'd end up beside Nina if she went in there.
When Nina came out Billie took one look at her and ushered her back to bed, sitting on the side worriedly brushing Nina's hair back from her face.
"Neens are you sick?" Billie asked worried about the answer, that would be a reason to come home, if Nina had found out she cancer or something. She could be sick from the cancer drugs, she'd watched enough movies to know it normally made you sick.
"Not that way Billie, really I just need some sleep right now can I talk to you about it a bit later?" Nina said as a wave of tiredness overcame her,
"Of course Neens, I'll be here when you wake up" Billie told her smiling as she watched sleep take hold of her sister. She walked out into the kitchen and turned off the kettle and put back the milk and eggs and went to call Mick and her parents to tell them Nina was home. Her sister was home and she couldn't be happier.
Okay leaving it there, hoping it's a good start and not too many of you are throwing tomatoes at me! Next up Nina reveals her pregnancy to Billie and Mick... wonder what their reactions will be. Will Billie really be as angry as Nina thinks she will?