Tonight, dinner at the table is a silent affair. With his tie loose hanging over his blue shirt, he looks much more stressed than Nikita's seen him in the last few months. He took small bites of his food every second he can manage to snap himself out of his thoughts but he's not really focused on the whole romantic vibe Nikita worked hard to create tonight, which makes her a little disappointed.
"So…" Nikita finally spoke, clearing her throat hoping to get his attention for a moment.
His attention focused on her for one second for the first time since he walked through the door and he swallowed hard.
"What?" Michael asked.
Nikita raised her eyebrows at him. She obviously knows something is bothering him, but there was no need for his attitude or his coldness. For all she knows, it could be all those cases he's dealing with at the firm.
"What do you think?" Nikita asked instead of making a big deal out of his unwelcoming attitude.
"Of what?" Michael replied.
"Dinner." Nikita said, gesturing her hand over the mostly full plate in front of him as if it wasn't obvious. "You haven't said much since you got here. What's wrong?"
"Everything's fine." He replied sternly.
Nikita licked her lips and looked over at him disappointingly. "Okay then," She said as she begin to clean up the dinner table.
Catching upon his sternness and cold attitude, Michael ran a hand through his spiky hair and sighed.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I-I didn't mean to-"He begin to apologize.
"It's okay." Nikita interrupted as she took her place in front of him at the side of the table. "Just tell me what's going on." She said.
"I don't know, Nikita." Michael replied truthfully. "I just don't know." He got off the chair almost at rage as he made his way down the hallway.
Nikita grew worried. She's seen him get angry; she's seen him have his moments of frustration and it happens but she's never seen him feel so through and angry to the point of exhaustion.
She followed him down to the room and found him lying on the bed with his hands over his face.
"I didn't think it was wrong to be concerned." Nikita commented quietly. "You didn't have to blow up like this on me."
"I'm just tired." Michael mumbled.
Nikita quietly took a sit next to him at the edge of the bed and sighed. "Tired of what?" She asked. Though she knows that it's been a long day for him, she also knew he didn't just mean physically tired.
"Of it all." Michael replied. "Of this life I've been living."
Nikita's heart dropped in her chest. This is not the first time those words have been said but every time, it takes away a piece of her that she can't get back.
"No one's forcing you to live it the way you are." She whispered brokenheartedly.
Michael sat up on the bed and looked at her. "Do you think it's really that easy?" He asked.
"I'm not saying it is." Nikita said. "But you make it harder than it should be."
Michael chuckled humorlessly. "You're unbelievable." He said. "You really are." He begin to unbutton his shirt as he tossed his tie behind him on the bed.
"Come on, Michael." Nikita said. "Let's just cut the crap and talk about what this is really about."
"It's about my life!" Michael snapped. "Me, you, us, my kids, Elizabeth! This fucking double life that I've been living for a year, now!"
"And this is my fault how, Michael?" Nikita asked a little angrily. "Like I said, no one is forcing you to live a double life."
"I'm right here Nikita." Michael said bitterly. "I'm right here blowing my whole life up for you and I don't even think you understand that."
That wasn't true. Nikita understood well enough the sacrifices they've both been making to make this wrongful destined relationship work. They've tried so much that she doesn't even remember how many time they've had this fight.
So this time she really reached her breaking point and snapped.
"And you think that you're the only one giving up everything you ever had?" Nikita asked. "What about the shit I deal with Michael? What about the fact that I can't introduce you to my family yet because I've been screwing a married man for a year now?" She yelled. "I don't like the situation anymore than you do, so don't sit here and tell me that you're blowing your whole life up for me and that I don't understand! No! Don't ever say that. You should be blowing your whole life up because your nine years of marriage sucks!"
"What do you want me to do?!" Michael got off the bed frustratedly. "I'm out of options here, Nikita. Tell me what to do because I can't keep lying to my kids any longer." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned the screen on. He accessed his messaging app and begin reading. "'Daddy where are you? Daddy when are you coming home? Daddy we miss you'. Tell me what to do Nikita, because sooner or later, those work trips has got to stop and eventually my excuses for not being at home will be running out."
"How about the truth?!" Nikita screamed. "Tell them the truth. But don't blame the reason why you're lying to your wife and kids at home constantly on me." She said. "I never asked for any of this. The door's right this way." She pointed through the exit door of their shared bedroom angrily. "You're a grown man, you can always leave. Anytime you want."
That last part slipped out of her mouth. She didn't mean to push him away in a moment where they both should be helping each other out. And she certainly didn't mean to watch him grab his jacket and leave the house furiously as she just told him he freely could.
She followed him right outside in pure anger. Though her mind was telling her to stop before it gets too far, the words of insults couldn't stop coming out of her mouth.
"Are you just gonna walk away every time or are you for once gonna stop being a coward and talk to me?" She pulled his arm roughly only to have Michael frustratedly turn around and give her the death glare.
"You're a piece of shit, and I hate you for blaming this all on me!" She continued yelling.
Though he was clenching on his teeth, his veins popping out of his neck and his eyes filled with anger, Michael didn't do anything as the adrenaline keeps rushing through his blood. He simply turned around and walked out the door like he had planned to do.
He got in his car and drove out of the driveway, leaving Nikita standing at the front door hopeless for him to come back and tears streaming down her face.
What the heck was she doing getting involved with a married man in the first place? It was all beneficial on both parts until she fell in love with him and now she truly believes it's over between them. It was never meant to be in the first place.
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I'm not feeling very inspired to update my other stories but I'm mending on a few ideas on how to keep them interesting so please bare with me until then. I'm hoping you guys like the start of this story which I'm hoping to be able to balance with the other ones. Thoughts are much appreciated, so please do review and let me know how you guys liked or hated this chapter. Until next time, xoxo.