A/N: So I had this dream and it gave me this idea. Ahem. Yeah.
Warnings: First time writing this sort of thing, so expect it to be awkward. Or something. And Neth is a girl in this one, it seemed more appropriate. And until I can think of a better name for her I'll call her Johanna (Joey for short). I'm so creative *sarcasm*. But y'all should know by now I'm too lazy to go look for another name anyway. So Johanna it is. Oh, and a lot of playful banter between the two. I love banter :D. Italics be thoughts.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were NethCan would be all over the place. Dammit Hima, make a comic about the Tulip Festival already. Me and my fellow NethCan fangirls (and boys) demand it!
It was a commonly known fact that Matthew Williams rarely got mad. Yet here he was, sitting on the floor with a controller in his hands and sprouting off obscenities at the TV-screen that would make even Arthur in his pirate days get all flustered.
"Come on, COME ON! Dodge, you fucking bastard! Special move, special move! I said special move you dick, not jump in front of his kick! Oh no. Oh fuck no, dodge dodge dodge! Argh, son of a bitch! Fuck this game! I quit!" He seethed as he threw his controller across the room and punched the floor, which promptly caused him to swear some more in pain. Meanwhile Johanna tried not to laugh at her boyfriends antics as she got up from the couch with a first aid kit in her hand and crouched down next to him, taking his hand in hers.
"Easy there, tiger. I just replaced my floor and it was quite expensive. So unless you plan on paying for a new one I suggest you calm down and let me wrap that hand up." She said with a smile. Matthew let out an annoyed sigh as he watched her get some disinfectant and bandages out of the kit. A little hiss escaped his lips when the disinfectant touched his skin.
"Come on, you big wuss. You've experienced worse."
"Doesn't change the fact that it still stings like hell."
"Maybe you should have thought of that before you abused my floor."
"That fucking game is rigged I'm telling you!"
"Just because you can't read your opponents movements doesn't mean the game is rigged, Matt."
"You make it sounds so easy. You try beating that sorry excuse for a game then. Ouch!" He bit his lip to prevent another scream from getting out. "What the hell, Joey? Be a little more gentle, will you?"
"I don't do gentle, Mattieboy, you know that," she said with a wink. "And I'll take you up on that offer. I'm willing to bet that I can reach the final boss and whoop his sorry ass within thirty minutes."
"Says the girl who's game collection only consists out of RTS games. We're talking about the game that took even Alfred and Kiku an entire day to beat, and they're the best players around. No way in hell are you seeing the ending credits within thirty minutes."
"Details, details. It still comes down to using your strengths and their weaknesses to achieve victory. Just like in an RTS, which I happen to be very good at. Plus, I've been reading the manual while you were having your ass handed to you, I'll be fine."
She put the finishing touches on his hand and got up to put the first aid kit away. Matthew watched her as she left the room. Johanna was quite the sight, even amongst the nations who had pretty much seen everything the world has to offer. She was 180 cm tall, had medium length, ash brown hair and sea green eyes. Just like Portugal she had a scar across her right eye, but hers wasn't as clearly visible as his was. Compared to the other European females she was flat, to say it gently. Whereas ladies like Margot and Elizaveta had a nice, full C-cup, Johanna had to make do with double-B's.
"Alright you amateur, watch the mistress work her magic and pay attention. You might learn a thing or two," Johanna said as she got back and crouched down again. She put her hands on Matthews legs and pushed them away from each other.
"I already know how to give blowjobs, if that's what you're trying to do. But I don't mind having a little refresher course, hehe." He said with a smirk.
"Oh, haha, Matt. Haha. Just for that you're not getting any tonight." She turned around and leaned back against Matthews chest, moving a bit to make herself a comfortable place between his legs, causing him to let out a moan in the process. "And try not to poke me."
"First you deny me sex and then you grind that ass against me and expect me not to get hard? You're such a bitch." He managed to bring out before pulling her close and kissing her neck. His left hand was fidgeting with her spaghetti top, whereas his injured right hand was playing with the waistband of her pajama shorts. Before he could go any further Johanna put her hands on top of his, guiding them towards her stomach.
"I don't think so, Matt. You lost your touchy-feely privileges," she said, tying her hair in a ponytail. She then tucked her bangs behind her ears and picked her fighter, waiting for the first battle to load.
"Lady, I'm sitting here with a raging boner and a hot girlfriend grinding all up on me. What the hell do you expect me to do then?"
"Cheer me on while I own this game, duh. And who knows, afterwards I might even take care of you. If you behave," She said with a grin as she moved her ass around a bit more, making Matt let out another moan.
"Fucking cocktease."
Being the perfect gentleman that he was, Matthew decided to honor his lady's wishes for now and kept his hands were Johanna had guided them. He managed to pay attention (despite his still raging boner) and saw what she had meant with reading your opponents movements. Whereas he had just rushed in and spammed his special moves, Johanna took her time with her fights. She jumped, dodged and countered her way to victory, without even breaking a sweat.
"Aww yeah! You just got owned, beyotch! And that was competitor number three, completely annihilated in just two minutes, wohoo!" she said as she danced around a bit, waiting for the next battle to load. Matthew had to bite back another moan. "For fucks sake, woman! Stop moving around so much, my boner is killing me!" Johanna let out a laugh at that, and moved her ass some more.
"You men and your lack of selfcontrol. You've been poking me since the first battle, and you don't hear me complaining, do yo-ah!" A gasp escaped her lips when she felt Matthews hand go down her shorts. His fingers were playing with the fabric of her hipster, while his other hand was holding her waist tightly, pulling her closer to him.
"I'm sorry, you were saying what exactly?" He said before biting her neck. "I-I s-said that… t-that…a-ah!" Oh dear God did that feel good. When was the last time Matthew was this forward with her? Maybe she should make him get angry more often. She moved her head a bit, giving him a better access. A little smirk escaped Matthew. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he continued, letting his hands travel down her thighs. He could have just gone straight for the goods, but it was so much more entertaining to make her beg for it.
"Matt… I… I…" She gasped as she felt Matthew squeeze her thighs.
"Yes, love?" Just a few more bites and kisses and he had her exactly where he wanted her.
"Round four! Fighters, get ready! In three… two…"
"Shit, the battle!" Joey grabbed the controller, headbutting Matthew in the process as she sat up and focused on the screen. "Joey, what the fuck! You almost broke my nose!" Matthew said as he carefully touched his nose, making sure it was still in one piece. "Sorry liefje, I'll get you an icepack as soon as the endboss is dead."
"What, you're not even offering to kiss it better? You coldhearted jackass." He grumbled. Letting out a dramatic sigh Joey hit the pause button and turned around, grabbing Matthew by the face and kissing him deeply. "There, better?"
"Yes, actually. Thanks."
"Great!" she said, smiling. "Think you can keep your hands to yourself for a bit longer then? This game ain't gonna beat itself."
"Oh please, don't act like you didn't like it. You were this close from begging."
"Dogs beg. Are you saying I'm a dog?"
"Well, you can be quite the bitch when you want to be, so yes."
"You're a dick, Matt."
"But you like dicks, so it's all good, right?" He said with a smirk. Joey laughed as she shook her head.
"Pffft, ahaha. Oh God, this conversation is going nowhere, fast. Alright smartass. You keep your hands to yourself, I'll keep my hands to myself, and no one will get hurt."
"I don't mind you hurting me, mistress." He said, leaning in for another small kiss and biting her lip before pulling back. A playful smile danced around Joeys lips as she reached out a hand and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him closer again.
"And you called me a cocktease. You're not too shabby yourself, mister."
"What can I say, I learned from the best." After sharing another kiss she let him go, turning her attention towards the game again. "Just keep your hands to yourself for the next 20 minutes, okay?"
"Only if I can get my touchy-feely privileges back."
"I'm not promising anything."
"Right back at ya then."
5 minutes later
He tried his best, he really did. But how can you expect a man to keep his hands to himself when a gorgeous, basically halfnaked woman was sitting in his lap, (un)intentionally making things hard for him because she got caught up in the game and was moving around so much? Matthew may be a perfect gentleman thanks to Arthurs teachings, but even he had his limits.
After biting back yet another moan caused by Joey's victory dance, something snapped inside him. He grabbed Joey by her wrists, turned her around and pinned her to the ground.
"Ow! Matt, what the fuck!" She yelled, trying to break free. But he had quite the firm grip on her wrists, and kneeing him was also not an option, as he was sitting on her legs. "Get off, you bastard!"
"Believe me, I fully intend to," he replied with a grin as he leaned closer and captured her lips in a rough, needy kiss. Joey wasted no time in kissing him back, still trying to free herself in the meantime. Matthew noticed her fidgeting, and smiled against her lips before he broke the kiss and moved towards her ear.
"Please don't resist me, love," he whispered, causing a slight shiver to run down her back. "I don't intend to force myself on you, so please, calm down, and I'll let go." He continued, planting small kisses on her jawline and neck.
"I wouldn't have to calm down if you hadn't assaulted me, you idiot," she whispered back, feeling herself relax. Stupid Matthew and his stupid knowledge of her stupid weaknesses.
"And I wouldn't have assaulted you if you had listened to me and stopped your dancing when I first asked you to."
"So it's my fault I'm a natural winner and express my victories through dance?"
"Your humble modesty never ceases to amaze me, love." He said with a smile. "I don't mind you dancing, just don't grind against my crotch and expect me not to do anything with it." He had released his grip on her and helped her sit upright, letting his hands run down her back and towards her ass, kissing her once more. Joey put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer so she could sit on his lap.
"Whoa there. I've made things quite hard for you, as far as I can feel."
"Quite. Wanna help me take care of it before I die from blue balls?"
"I suppose I can finish the fight another day. Since you asked so nicely."
"You're too kind," he said, smiling before he leaned in to kiss her.
"Don't I know it," she said, smiling back.
After a bit more banter ("Oh, by the way, I'm not letting you top, Joey." "The hell you aren't!"), kissing and groping ("Okay fine, you can top. God. You and your damn knowledge of my weaknesses.") they made in to the bedroom. If she couldn't top she at least wanted to be in her comfortable, queen-sized bed. Matthew reached out a hand and removed the scrunchy out of Joeys hair, letting it fall freely from her shoulders. She leaned back into the pillows and pulled Matthew on top of her, kissing him. After a while they broke the kiss, and Matthew used that opportunity to help Joey out of her spaghetti top, revealing the bra she wore underneath it.
"Huh, not exactly what I expected."
"You were expecting that I'd be bra-less?"
"I was sorta expecting a Nijntje on your bra. Since when are you into Hello Kitty?"
"Since my other bra's are in the washing machine, duh."
"Of course. Allow me to throw this one in there as well."
"Sure. If your boxers are accompanying them. My bra's aren't allowed to wander off alone you know."
"What a coincidence. My boxers aren't allowed to wander off alone either. Would your hipster mind accompanying them as well?"
"Not at all. The more the merrier, right?"
"Totally."
With their clothing out of the way Matthew leaned in, grabbing Joey by her face and pulling her closer. "Have I told you how unbelievably beautiful you are?"
"Today? No, not that I recall," she said, feeling her cheeks heat up a bit. Matthew let out a little smile before he kissed her. "You're a funny one, Joey."
"How so?"
"After all this time you still get flustered when I say that you're beautiful."
"Yeah, well…"
"Yes?"
"I don't know. I think I got used to being called a manipulative, power-hungry she-devil for so long that I still don't know how to respond to any compliments."
"As sad as that sounds, I still can't help but feel that it's really adorable in a way too."
"Oh?"
"Yup. Because now I can call you beautiful and precious and adorable and cute and all that other mushy stuff," he said with an evil smirk as he noticed how the red on Joey cheeks deepened with every word he said.
"Dammit Matt, cut it out! You know I hate it when you call me stuff like that!"
"Tough luck, my pretty little maple leaf. I happen to like that flushed look on your face. It brings out the green of your eyes."
"Why I oughtta just-"
Matthew kissed her again, cutting her sentence off. He gently pushed her back into the pillows, entwining his fingers with hers. "Joey, please. You don't need to keep the tough girl act up when you're with me. I'd like to think we're past that stage." He said in between kisses.
"We are, I just… I mean I…" She managed to bring out.
"Then stop fighting and just go with the flow for once." He removed his hands from hers and cupped her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. Joey put her hands on top of his, giving them a little squeeze as she turned her gaze towards Matthew. They stayed like this for a while when Joey reached out her arms and put them around Matthews neck, pulling him close enough so their noses were touching.
"Thank you."
"You should save that for when we're basking in the afterglow. I haven't really done anything yet," he said with a smile. Joey smiled back as she shook her head a bit. "I don't think you'll ever really know how much you have already done for me. If it wasn't for you I'd still be that manipulative, power-hungry she-devil today."
"My, my. That's quite the accomplishment you're crediting me for."
"And I haven't even brought up WW2 yet." A kiss. "When you took in my princess and her daughters." Her hands were in his hair. "When you provided them with a safe haven." His hands traveled down her sides, squeezing her hips. "When you made sure Margriet could be born on Dutch soil." Her hands were on his shoulders now, nails digging in. "When you helped me out when no one else could, or would." He tightened his grip on her. "You gave me my freedom back." He was picking up the pace now, and she followed him. "You made me feel like I was worthwhile, just by saying those three little words.."
"I love you."
Matthew was running his fingers through Joey's hair, lifting a few strands up and letting them fall back. He continued playing with her hair until she decided he had enough and grabbed his hand, entwining her fingers with his. He pulled their hands towards his lips, planting a soft kiss on her fingers. Joey replied by snuggling up to him, hiding her once again red face in his chest.
"Part of me wants to say to you to stop doing that."
"But your much bigger, hopelessly romantic side wants me to continue and up the ante, right?" He said, smirking. Joey let go of his hand and grabbed a pillow, smothering Matthew with it. She wasn't really trying though, as she could still hear Matthew laugh. He removed the pillow from his face and threw it right back in her face. Joey let out a little yelp as she fell backwards, not expecting Matt to throw the pillow back. And she definitely wasn't expecting him to pounce her immediately after, kissing her. When they broke apart after a while Matt reached out a hand and brushed a few strands out of her face, resting his hand on her cheek.
"Have I told you how adorable you look when you're surprised and/or slightly embarrassed?"
"Depends. Have I told how much better you look when you're squirming beneath me?" Matt let out a laugh at that. "No offense love, but at the moment you're the one who's… Whoa!" He didn't know how the hell she even did it, but with one swift move she managed to switch their positions, looking down on his surprised face with a cocky grin.
"I'm the one who's on top, as I should be." She said, moving her face towards his, lips inches apart. "And I think I see why you love making me blush so much."
"Really now?"
"Uh-huh. Because if I look half as cute as you do right now…"
A/N: And then they went at it again. OMG I'm so sorry you guys, I totally copped out at the end (and before that). WHY WON'T MY FINGERS JUST TYPE WHAT MY MIND HAS THOUGHT UP TT_TT.
So yeah, my first attempt at something M-rated and there wasn't even a damn thing going on. Except way too much talking. But at least you got some funny banter out of it? Eh? Eh? Eh. I'm so sorry *bows head in shame*.
Okay, backgroundstory/headcanon. This is kinda how I see their relationship. Unconditional, playful, loving. They bring out the best in each other, because they're so at ease around each other.
Neth is a controlfreak and doesn't like to be on the bottom because that would mean (s)he gave up control. Even when being with Canada, but it's getting better. Canada knows this and just humors Neth and gets back at him/her by calling him/her cute petnames. And by giving Neth the ride of his/her life while he's on top :D.
fem!Neth is tall and flatchested (compared to her build), and great at Real Time Strategy games like Total War and Operation Flashpoint and any other game you have to use strategy to own the world/your opponents. Neth is also very competitive whilst gaming.
One day I'll get hella drunk and my boundaries will disappear and then I'll write y'all an M-rated fic for real. Up until then you can amuse yourself with my halfassed attempts at trying to be funny.
Hope you still had fun reading though, and a review would be appreciated! Thank you!