The shuttle ride back to the Normandy was a quiet one. Liara and James sat across from each other; Shepard sat at the other end, obviously trying to stay composed. The asari had silent tears running down her face. James glanced at her, then the commander before fixating his eyes on the ground. They felt the Kodiak jolt as they landed in the Normandy. As soon as the door swung open, Shepard stood up and strode past them without a word. With a sigh, James clambered out of the shuttle and walked over to the corner he had claimed as his own. A pair of footsteps walked up behind him.
"What happened? "Garrus quietly asked. James didn't look at the turian; his hands gripped the edge of his iron table.
"We lost Thessia," James murmured.
"I figured as much from the way Liara was crying." A pause. "And Shepard?" James looked over his shoulder, one hazel eye focused on Garrus. "I see." There was a moment of silence. "I'm going to check up on Liara." James nodded before looking back at the table. He waited until Garrus' footsteps disappeared into the elevator before starting systematically taking off his armor. He cleaned it thoroughly and carefully. Once he was done with that, he turned his attention to his injuries. He judged his injuries weren't serious enough to see Chakwas so he bandaged himself up. James glanced at the clock once he finished and saw an hour and a half had passed since they had returned. He figured that was more than enough time for Shepard to have cleaned herself up.
"EDI?" he called, looking up at the roof.
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
"Where's Shepard?"
"In the war room."
"Thanks." Pushing himself to his feet, James headed to the elevator. He punched the button for the CIC. No one paid attention to him as he walked to the War Room. The girls were gone from their usual post, sparing James the annoyance of having to be scanned. He entered the War Room and was suddenly aware of how empty it was.
When they were dealing with the krogans and turians, he had gotten used to seeing Wrex and Primarch Victus in here. Once they left, James had grown accustomed to Tali and Admiral Raan and Legion. Now that no one was here, it was eerie how silent it was.
He headed to the conference room in the back where Shepard often spoke to Admiral Hackett or Anderson.
"…continuity of a civilization to be considered," he heard the asari councilor say as he neared.
"I'm," Shepard started but hesitated as the call ended. "Sorry," she finished softly. She slumped forward, her hands resting on the rails before her. After a moment, James cleared his throat loud enough fr her to hear. She spun around, startled. "James!" Shepard exclaimed. She cleared her throat and sniffed. "What are you doing here? Do you need something? Is Liara alright?"
"Doc's fine. Scars is with her as we speak," James answered. Shepard nodded absentmindedly. He studied her for a moment. "Everything okay, Lola?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. I just finished reporting to the asari councilor and well." She didn't finish.
"I meant more of how are you," he clarified. Shepard looked at him in surprise.
"I'm fine."
"Bullshit. Tell me the truth." She searched his hazel eyes. Shepard let out a sigh and slumped against the bars.
"We… We just… We just… I just lost a planet to the Reapers," she whispered. James opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. The helpless look on Shepard's face made him want to go out there and singlehandedly take on the Reapers that were causing her distress.
When he couldn't find anything to say, he walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. Shepard returned the hug, burying her face against his strong chest. James felt her shoulders start to shake and sure enough, he felt a wetness on his shirt where her face was.
"Hey, hey now. It's okay, Lola. Let it all out, belleza." He rubbed her back and continued whispering into her ear as she let out the pent up sorrow and frustration for Thessia, for Tuchanka, for Palaven. For Earth.
"Sorry," Shepard whispered once her sobs started to calm down. She pulled back a bit but remained in James' hold. "I shouldn't have broken down like that."
"Hey," he said, putting a hand under her chin. He lifted her face so she had to look at him. "I don't want any of that. Even the great Commander Shepard has to cry sometimes." The corner of her mouth quirked up slightly before she quickly grew somber.
"Well the great Commander Shepard should've been able to save Thessia." Her tone was bitter and full of resent.
"You did what you could, Lola. You can't win every battle."
"But everyone expects me to win every battle."
"And that is when you tell everyone to fuck off, you're only human." James' thumb stroked her cheek as he brushed away her tears.
"But if I can't win every battle, people will lose faith in me," Shepard argued. James stifled as sigh as he pulled her closer.
"But you'll have your crew. Scars will still believe in you, Joker will, Sparks will, every single last person on this damn ship will still believe in you," he told her. "And you can bet this entire fucking ship, crew and all, that I will always believe in you, Lola." He felt her heart pounding against her chest. He realized how close their faces were. Without hesitation, James pressed his lips against Shepard's. It said so much than he could say. A moment passed before she pulled away. He rested his forehead against hers.
"Thank you, James," Shepard whispered. He smiled.
"Anytime, Lola."