Warning: This is not fluffy. Contains suicidal themes.
This is just a one-shot.
(I just re-watched the season 4 episode where Emily finds out Naomi cheated. Ugh god, it makes me so fucking mad Naomi did that. Just wanna cry for Ems, you know? So anyhow, this came to me amongst all that emotion…)
The girl in the corner whimpers, covering her ears, her breaths shallow and cheeks red. Her hair is now streaky, blonde with brown spreading from her roots, out. The clean white sheets on the cot have remained untouched since her arrival. I don't deserve to sleep. On the floor beside her, sits a tray with a bowl of salad and a piece of toast. I don't deserve to eat.
She clutches her knees close to her chest and tries to make herself impossibly smaller, but the voices can still find her. They won't leave her be, they've haunted ever since she had a reason to feel guilty. Her once bright blue eyes are now dim and bloodshot, they would cry more if they weren't so tired or so empty. It's all my fault.
She used to get visitors. But she would never talk to them so after awhile they stopped trying. I don't deserve their attention. Even her sister came, she was hated by them now, but they still came to see her. She can't stand to see the sister who reminds her so much of what is gone now. Even the others remind her of what's gone. Nothing can make her forget. I don't deserve to move on.
The girl shrieks when the memories invade her senses once again. She can feel the breeze of the wind blowing through her hair from where they were standing, high in the sky. Her face is wet from crying, and her body is shaking from the gasps of air between sobbing and begging for forgiveness.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
She watches as the other girl stands up on the ledge. "You ruined it. You don't want anyone to care."
I do care! Please... I care so much. I care too much. Please, I don't want to care, but I care more than anything…Don't do this, please…
"Could be dead in a second. Everything's so fragile…Didn't you realize that?"
Yes. I know, please don't do this. I can't see another person die because of me. Please come here. Let me hold you, let's be okay, again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Just come back, please…
"We were special." She looks down over the edge and then stares right at the blonde. Both of them are crying.
I love you. I can't do this without you. "I was scared."
"You're always scared." The red-head turns away from her and shakes her head. She's looking down again, those brown eyes return to blue for half a second before they are gone forever.
"EMILY!"
She feels the wind whipping harder against her as she rushes towards the ledge. She wishes she hadn't looked, but she couldn't turn away. No sound is heard as the body hits the pavement. Only afterwards do her ears start working again, can she hear the sirens getting closer and louder. Her body falls too, but not next to the one fifty stories down. No, she lands on the ground right beneath her feet, the only peace she finds is the temporary darkness that overtakes her mind until she's being shaken and brought inside the white room.
Emily, I'm so sorry.
…
Apologies if that was disturbing. I dunno if it was any good, but that was how I was feeling after watching that episode… If you didn't get the gist of it, it was what would have happened if Emily had jumped off the ledge of the building where Sophia died…
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