A/N: I've been sick for 4 days now and I'm finally a little better! :) I usually update once every three days or have a new story by that time but I was really sick D: I'm sorry :(
Anyways, on a happier note, I had this awesome idea in my head! So I decided to write it down. This is actually one of my fics that I'm pretty proud of, cus it's one of my favorite ideas :D Please enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece!
Warnings: Extreme Crack. And I mean it, it's pretty random. Slight Zoro/Sanji, for those people that have not realized yet, 98% of my stories will have at least a drop of Zoro/Sanji in them so deal with it :D, Bad words and Bad language
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"WHAT?" exclaimed an exasperated Sanji in the infirmary.
"Yes." sighed Chopper as he packed up his equipment. "It seems you have contracted Cussiritis."
"So…what are you saying? Am I sick? Is it fatal?" Sanji let himself fall onto the bed in a sitting position, he was shocked. Never in his life has he ever been sick. This could most definitely not be happening.
"No, you're not sick and it's not fatal. The cause of this disease is excess cussing. In other words, when you say too many bad words then you have a high chance of getting it." Chopper sat down on his chair and proceeded to explain more about the sickness. "It's not fatal…but you may not like the side effects…" Chopper fidgeted with his hooves and avoided Sanji's eyes.
This can not be good. Thought Sanji as he swallowed in fear (But he would never admit it).
"So…what are the side effects?" asked Sanji as he steeled himself for the consequences.
"Well…" started Chopper hesitantly but continued when Sanji crossed his arms impatiently. "The effects last three days starting tomorrow: The first day, if you attempt to cuss, what will come out instead is a word that sounds similar to it. The second day, you will say things in a more…professional style. The third day, and this is the one you must watch out for, you will say what you truthfully think."
Sanji raised an eyebrow in confusion; all he got from that was that he wouldn't be able to cuss. It would ruin his image if he couldn't!
"Is there a cure?" asked Sanji, he was determined to get rid of this sickness.
"Unfortunately, one has not been found yet. You just have to wait it out." Chopper sighed and pulled his hat a little lower; as the ship's doctor, he felt it was his responsibility to keep the crew healthy but it seems he failed…
Sanji noticed Chopper's depression and walked over to him to pull him into a hug off of his chair. Chopper squeaked in surprise before returning the hug.
After a few more seconds of this, Sanji placed Chopper back on the floor and stepped back while Chopper looked at him in confusion. "Listen, it's not your fault that I got this sickness. I got it from cussing too much, you can't exactly control that. Don't worry about it." He softly smiled and leaned down to pat Chopper on his hat before walking out to prepare dinner since it was night already.
As Sanji busied himself with cooking, he thought about his current problem.
Well, it doesn't matter, it's just three days. And besides, as long as the crew doesn't know it's okay.
Why doesn't he want the crew to know, you ask?
First reason is because he always cusses and it would be bad for his image if he didn't.
Second reason is because he just KNOWS that the crew would mess with him on purpose if they knew.
Yes, it's a very good thing that the crew doesn't know. He smiled to himself in relief and continued cutting the vegetables to prepare for dinner.
Oh, but little did he know that a certain sniper that can never keep his mouth shut had just heard everything.
TBC
A/N: I originally intended this to be a one-shot but I always do my chapters all in one go. And since I currently don't have enough energy to do that, I've decided to make this a two-shot. And no, cussiritis is not a real sickness, I made it up for the sake of this story :) The next chapter, Sanji's suffering starts…*smirks evilly*