A/N: Hey guys! Here's the first chapter. It features a fluffy Kisame, and some verrrry ooc Akatuski men XD. This chapter is Kisame/OC-centric, along with minor Ita/Dei, Saso/Hida, and Pein/OC. I hope you enjoy this :))
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, sadly.
Warnings: Um... none? ... yet ;)
It was a seemingly typical day for the group of men, and some women. Everyone was chilling out and laughing and watching tv when Rayne, my incredibly loud mouthed friend and damn-near sitster, decided to open her never-quiet mouth.
Pointing an accusing finger at the man under me she yelled, "THAT DAMNED PLESIOSAURUS STOLE MY FUZZY HANDCUFFS!"
As if to prove her point, she held up a pair of hand cuffs, adorned in fuzzy cheetah print fur. My eyes widened and I tried to suppress the blush flooding my cheeks.
Through gritted teeth, my "Plesiosaurus" spoke, "Those. Aren't. Yours. They're... ours."
A blush fierce enough to battle mine spread over her tanned skin, followed by a look of complete disgust and horror, "YOU KINKY FUCKS. EW."
She quickly threw the handcuffs in the air, hoping for them to land on my lap, which they did. I let out a small giggle as she fled to Itachi's lap and curled into a ball, rocking herself gently. Itachi just stared at Pein in confusion, mouthing "This is your job..."
Pein shook his head and stood, walking to Itachi, "Come along, dear."
He picked up his cowering lover and cradled her to his chest. He grinned at Kisame and mouthed something about a "good job" and left the room, presumably to his own to "comfort" Rayne.
I took the chance to glance at Kisame. He gave me his typical sharky grin and pecked my cheek. My blush deepened when I looked around the room. All the men where staring at us, looks of either jealousy or curiosity covered their faces.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We use handcuffs, who cares?" I blubbered and giggled nervously when this snapped the men out of their reverie, their attention turning back to the television.
Kisame's lips pressed to a sensitive spot on my neck and his teeth scraped gently over the skin. He shook the handcuffs and smirked against my neck. Biting back the small moan manifesting in my throat, I shook my head in the negative manner, and looked at the tv.
Kisame was okay with this, though he didn't cease his wonderful assault on my neck. He shifted a bit in his chair, allowing me to sprawl out more comfortably. My butt in his lap, he wrapped his arms around my waist and inhaled against my neck.
"New perfume?" He looked up at me and smiles softly, the smile only I saw.
I let out a small giggle and nodded, "I stopped wearing Juicy, 'cause I'm running out. This is some Missoni shit. Smells like-"
Kisame cut me off with another deep breath, and a breathy response, "Melon and grapefruit. It smells divine."
I blushed and snuggled against him. Again, he was pressing his lips to my neck and kissing all along the left side of my neck. I let my eyes flutter shut, and a dreamy smile spread across my face. I laid my hands over his and laced my fingers between his, tipped in blue-painted fingernails. His lips parted and his teeth gently scraped over my neck, sending shivers through me, and spreading goosebumps over my flesh like goosebumps. I wet my lips and let them stay parted, my breath escaping through them in soft pants.
He smiled against my neck and bit down a bit harder, and applied suction, giving me a mark that said I was his, and his alone. A soft moan escaped my lips, but I didn't care. I was in heaven. Soon, when he felt my hickey was dark enough, he let his tongue slide out to soothe the love-bitten skin. Another soft sigh-like moan escaped my lips and I let my eyes crack open to look at him.
"Feel good?" He asked in a soft, gravelly voice that only I got to hear.
I nodded slightly and pecked his lips, "Yes. Thank you. Very... relaxed."
A smile settled on my lips and I slipped out of his lap to sit beside him in the giant armchair. His arms still around my waist, I let my legs drape over his lap and my head nuzzled his chest.
"Are you two done being cute, un?" Deidara spoke, having taken Rayne previous spot, and was sitting in the lap of his own lover, Itachi.
I let out a soft giggle and glanced at the duo. They had finally let out that they're together, and everyone was very happy for them, apart from Sasori, who was bitter towards Itachi. Personally, I thought they were adorable together. Although Sasori was bitter towards the Uchiha, he often found solace in his own lover, Hidan. We were all baffled by this partnership, as Hidan was the loudest fucking person in the group, and Sasori hated Deidara's ranting. But hey, if you're happy, then who cares?
Itachi let out a small smile and squeezed Deidara, "Let them be, Dei-chan. They're no worse than you and I."
He landed a soft peck on the artist's cheek, and Deidara turned red at the pet name.
"Don't call me Dei-chan, un!"
Through his quickly fading anger, he smiled and kissed Itachi's nose. Itachi actually let a slight flush spread over his cheeks and murmured to the blond.
Deidara nodded and stood, holding his hand out to Itachi. The raven took it, and they left the room hand in hand.
"Fucking adorbs, right, Dev?" Hidan chimed from across the room, smirking darkly.
"Shut the fuck up, Hidan. Attend to your own pet." Kisame grinned, back to his dark, deep voice that I loved just as much as his Dev-voice.
"I, am not, a pet, Sharkboy." Sasori growled, his body tensing in anger.
Hidan ran a soothing hand through the crimson locks in his lap, "He was only teasing, Sasori-kun. Calm down."
This was also a lover-only thing. The only person Hidan didn't cuss at was Sasori, and though he denied it, Sasori felt special.
The teen let a small smile grace his lips, before his stoic and calm demeanor slipped back into place. He gave a soft nod, and cuddled back into Hidan, looking more like a boy, than the almost-adult he was.
I turned my head to look at Kisame, who was focused back on the tv. I smiled and kissed him softly. His eyes shifted to me and he smiled lazily, "What?"
"Thanks for introducing me to your friends, 'Same."
He let out a soft chuckle and nodded, "No problem, baby girl. Thanks for liking me, even though I'm an asshole."
"That's nothing, babe. I know you won't be an ass hole to me. What I really have to deal with is your weird hair kink."
A lilac flush spread over his cheeks and he narrowed his eyes teasingly, "Shaddup, Dev."
A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter! It made me giggle a lot, and I am pretty happy with it. Reviews would be super super helpful, because since this is a Crack/AU/OOC fic, I want input on what future chapters should be like. I also want to know if you want a character sheet for the OC's. R/R guys :)
- daltonjaydd