I Did What Last Night?

Serpentor sat lazily on his throne one night. "I wonder what they meant when they said they had a good night clubbing. What does "clubbing" mean?" he thought. He decided that he was going to find out, one way or another.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Baroness, I have a problem that maybe you can help with," Serpentor told the woman. It threw her for a moment because he had never admitted that he had a problem or asked for help.

"What do you need?" she asked warily.

"I intend on finding out what "clubbing" means, and I need advice," he told her.

The next Saturday, he ditched his guards, changed into the outfit that the Baroness had provided and left for the clubs by himself.

He had had a number of drinks and thought that he was only a bit tipsy when he saw the young woman sitting alone.

"She looks like she would be good in bed," he thought.

She was sitting a little apart from the others in the bar, nursing a glass of cola. To many, she appeared a bit drunk, but she was actually stone-cold sober. She was on her fifth drink when it happened.

Serpentor got up from his table and approached her. Baroness had taught him to ask first, get to know her before he propositioned her; instead of just demanding that she go to his place and to his bed.

"Hey, Baby," he stated as he bellied up to the bar next to her.

"Oh, great, just what I need- a guy that's drunker than half of these greenshirts combined," Trini Blais thought. Cross-Country's daughter, she was a female version of him, and just as sneaky when she wanted or needed to be.

"Hi," she replied out loud, ignoring Serpentor and hoping that he would get the message to leave her alone. No such luck.

"Hey, Chica, I'm really an emperor; want to see my royal scepter?" he asked.

Trini's mind went blank and she turned, her long arm and strong fist connecting with his jaw before either one of them realized it. He hit the floor, out cold.

Trini turned to the greenshirts she was escorting. "Come on, boys. Play time's over," she declared.

"Aw, man. Did that jerk have to screw everything up?" one of the greenshirts complained.

They had just gotten back to the base when she realized why the jerk had seemed familiar to her. She was relaxing for a few minutes before going to bed, watching TV with Cross-Country. She couldn't help herself, and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" her father asked her.

"The cheesiest pickup line I've ever heard, but what makes it so dang funny is who used it on me," Trini told him.

"What was the line?" he asked. He'd heard many a cheesy line over the years.

"Hey, Chica, I'm really an emperor; want to see my royal scepter?" Trini told him, laughing.

He groaned. "You'd need a number of cases of wine to go with that cheese," he told her. "Who used it?"

She laughed, and it took her a moment to catch her breath. "Would you believe it was Serpentor, slumming?"

"You're kidding me," he laughed. "And I thought Shipwreck and Clutch were bad."

"Dead serious. I cold-cocked him and left him on the floor of the bar while I brought the nerds in," she confessed.

Serpentor groaned as he rolled over in his bed, waking up. "What the hell happened last night?" he wondered. He had the headache from hell and there was a nasty taste in his mouth. He was walking down the hallway when he caught sight of himself in a mirror. One side of his face was black and blue, and you could see the imprint of a set of knuckles on his cheekbone.

He passed a couple of guards who started snickering as he went past.

"What's so funny?" he asked them sternly.

"You, my emperor. Last night you were so drunk you hit on one of the Joe kids, and she punched you," one of them answered.

"I was not drunk," Serpentor stated.

"Yes, my emperor, you were. You couldn't even stand up straight, and watching you walk across the bar to talk to the girl was hilarious," the other guard stated.

Serpentor angrily turned and walked into his throne room, where everyone in the room began laughing at him.

"Want some whiskey, my liege?" asked one of the guards closest to the throne. Serpentor lashed out with a hard fist and knocked the guy to the floor. Everyone quit laughing.

"That's much better," he stated.