Title: Cougars and Other Big Cats
Pairing: Jiraiya/Tsunade
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own these Naruto characters and stand to make no profit from posting this story.
Summary: Companion to Rainbows. Tsunade considers the Konoha shinobi that as Hokage she has at hand for missions.
Cougars and Other Big Cats
or
Of The Lions and The Leopards And The Wolves The Khan Keeps For The Chase
"Shizune, what's a cougar?" Tsunade asked her assistant as she leafed through the stacks of photographs, dossiers, and completed mission reports littering her desk.
"A cougar? Isn't that a big cat, like a leopard or a panther?" the dark haired kunoichi responded to her boss.
"Well, why would anyone call me a cougar, then?" Tsunade queried again nonchalantly as she examined the two photographs she was holding, one in each hand.
Shizune coughed and tried to hide the furious blush that lit her cheeks by burying her face in her own stack of paperwork that she was sorting for her mistress on the other side of the office. "I don't know," she lied clumsily.
"Shizune!" Tsunade's voice was mock stern - she knew when her assistant was bullshitting her. "Come on, tell me! You obviously know. You lie like a three year old caught with your hand in the cookie jar. What does it mean?"
"Well, ah, it depends on who said it I suppose," Shizune was trying to find a way to tactfully explain this to Tsunade.
"These two," Tsunade waved the photographs of Izumo and Kotetsu at Shizune. "As they were turning to leave, I heard Kotetsu whisper to Izumo something about 'see what the cougar's up to now.'
Shizune groaned. They didn't! They didn't actually say that within earshot of their Hokage? Idiots!
"Well, Lady Tsunade, it's a term used to describe an older woman..." Shizune began.
"Yeah? So? What's the big deal? Why are you blushing like that, Shizune?" Tsunade leaned forward, more curious than actually bothered by whatever it was that was making the younger woman squirm like this. "Is it an insult or something?"
"Well, I suppose it depends on who said it and your personal views as to whether or not you would take it as an insult or... in some cases maybe even a complement."
Tsunade merely arched an eyebrow and said, "Go on."
Shizune sighed and squared her shoulders. "A cougar is an older woman with an interest in younger men. In some cases maybe even involved in a relationship with a younger man. Usually a much younger man. "
Tsunade actually laughed out loud when she finished. "A cougar! How in the world could anyone think that describes me? Who am I supposed to be involved with?"
Shizune motioned at the stacks of photographs in front of the two of them. "I can only suppose it has something to do with the project you're working on to organize personnel files."
The blond-haired sannin sat in her chair and laughed until her shoulders shook. It was the end of a long week and she was exhausted from merely doing paperwork. The boredom, the tedium! It was good to have a hearty laugh before the weekend. "Can I help it if the old man had separated his files into male and female regardless of abilities? And we all know why that was, don't we - the old pervert! And just because I've already organized the kunoichi files and I'm working on the male shinobi they assume I'm up to something else? What do they think I'm doing - window-shopping?"
Shizune was so relieved that her mistress was amused rather than furious that all she could do was simply smile herself.
"Come on, Shizune, you've known me a long time. I've got a lot of faults, sake, gambling, but you can tell them yourself, boys are not among them." She looked up at her assistant and saw the mixture of relief and exhaustion on her face. Shizune had worked as long and as hard this week as she had. "Go on, Shizune, I'm almost done here myself. Why don't you go on home. It's the weekend. Neither one of us should be here late."
The brunette's face brighted. "Thank you, Lady, I think I will. Is there anything you need before I go?"
"No, just leave it all where it is. I may sift through a few more files, but I'm pretty beat myself. I'll probably be out of here soon. We'll pick this up after the weekend."
Shizune said goodbye and then ducked out the door, eager to go find Izumo and Kotetsu and give them a piece of her mind for insulting their Hokage that way!
Still chuckling, Tsunade sat back down at her desk, photographs and dossiers spread out in front of her. How was she ever going to absorb all of this information? She appreciated the laugh more than Shizune would ever realize. The task in front of her was in reality a very sombre one. It was up to her to pick and choose assignments and staffing for missions ranging from D-rank all the way to S-rank. And her decisions affected everything about these ninja's lives, everything from pay-scales to choosing who was going out on those missions that might result in disabling injury or even death.
The sun had just set and it was the beginning of an early autumn evening, the air turning cool quickly after the light of day had faded from the sky. The Fifth Hokage thought she should fix herself a pot of tea and then reassessing the task at hand realized that this called for sake. She was alone in her office, Shizune wouldn't be around to nag her about her drinking, and the Hokage Tower was blissfully empty. She pulled the desk drawer all the way out and reached in the back for the bottle she kept hidden there away from Shizune's prying eyes. She stared at the arc of photographs spread out around her and took her first sip of sake.
The bite of the sake as it hit her tongue made her wince and smile just a little. That flicker of a smile brought back the silly thought from a moment ago, "cougar" indeed. The smile widened into a broad grin. "Cougar", how ridiculous was that. Thinking of big cats, her mind drifted back to a story that her grandfather used to read to her. It was a story of an adventurer from a distant past who had traveled to a far away land. This adventurer wrote of being the guest of a great ruler, the Khan, leader of a vast empire bigger than any feudal lord could dream of. Her favorite chapter had been called "Of The Lions And The Leopards And The Wolves That The Khan Keeps For The Hunt."
The story had fascinated her, she'd begged for it again and again as a little girl. She'd picture it in her mind's eye, the pageantry, the procession. But what thrilled her the most was the idea of having those exotic animals at hand. The master of the hunt would know the prey they were seeking. He'd choose among his trained hunters, leopards, lions, wolves, or falcons. Magnificent wild animals you could never imagine being trained and yet they had been, trained but never broken because they mustn't lose their instinct for the kill. And the Khan would send them out, knowing, trusting that they would take down their prey, complete their mission and return to him or else die trying. And they'd do it because that was what he'd trained them to do.
She turned her attention to the pictures again. The first two she picked up were the ones she'd originally been holding, Izumo and Kotetsu her faithful aides, bodyguards, assistants, whatever you wanted to call them. They served the office, they served her station, not so much herself. They'd answered all her questions when she'd first arrived, provided documents when asked and even knew which ones to make sure she had available even when she didn't ask. She'd sent them out, too, numerous times, some missions diplomatic, some clandestine and best not spoken of outside her office. Sleek and lean they reminded her of hunting leopards, ever at heel, held on a silken lead she could let slip whenever she needed. They'd be off then, the two of them unleashed to pursue whatever she set before them, rippling, fluid, still young enough to give chase for the sheer beauty and joy of the chase itself.
But you couldn't take down big game with just cats like leopards. Bigger game required bigger cats. She picked up another picture. Gai. Loud and roaring he was her lion. He stalked and was prideful and roared, loudly. She smiled. And just like real lions he wasn't actually all that ferocious. They preferred to resolve a conflict with a show of force, rather than actually using force itself. But, well, if an opponent wouldn't stand down, then Gai certainly did have the force to back it up. He could, and he had backed up his boasts with force. At her orders.
The next photograph made her catch her breath. Sakumo she almost whispered. She touched the mask, as if wishing she could slide it down and see the face of her old friend. But it wouldn't be his face looking back at her, even if she could remove the mask in the picture - it would be the scarred face of his son, Hatake Kakashi. Was it possible that this was her friend's baby that she'd held, asking Dan, "what do you think about this?" and "maybe we should just have one, too?" She shook her head, no, it wasn't possible, it couldn't be possible. God, she was old. And what was Kakashi? A lean and slinky black panther, restless; a cat with mismatched eyes, that hunted by himself.
She drew again from the stack and considered the picture she had selected, Nara Shikamaru, her newest chuunin. The Nara, shadow-ninjas, were perhaps the purest expression of ninja art out of all the clans in Konoha. They mastered the shadows. And Nara Shikamaru had become very, very good at what he did. Almost as good as his father had once been. He would soon surpass him. So Nara Shikamaru would be her jaguar, the painted cat who did not give chase but hid, dappled in the shadows and waited patiently to ambush his target.
She took another drink of sake. Sakumo was dead and Shikaku was a drunk. Minato and Hizashi too, were dead and gone. Fugaku had been killed by his own son. And she was left with a stable full of boys that she either remembered as babies, or else they'd been born and raised during the twenty-five years she'd been away. She knocked back the rest of the sake. To top it off, she was going to have to decide which of them went on which missions, very possibly, which of them lived and which of them died. Why in the hell had she ever taken this job in the first place?
There was another photograph, one she kept face down in the back corner of the drawer of her bedside table. It showed the three of them, the sannin, when they were still together. She thought of it now. It was not long after that picture was taken that she had run away to hide in the world. And Orochimaru...Orochimaru had become...something else.
As she was lost in her reverie, she heard a welcome voice call her name, "Oi, Tsunade, are you in there?" She brightened, there was one big cat she had left out. The tiger, fierce, commanding, beautiful, he was the biggest cat of all and the most powerful. Tsunade smirked, wondering if Jiraiya would appreciate the comparison. Fierce and noble and powerful yet the Khan had managed to tame even the tiger to the hunt.
Jiraiya poked his head around the frame of her office door. "Are you still working? Come on, let's go get something to eat."
She yawned and stretched, "Okay, sure, baka, let's go." As she grabbed her coat and closed her office door behind her, slipping her hand into his own large, warm palm, it occurred to her that she could not possibly be a cougar because romantically speaking, she had no use for boys. Men, on the other hand, were an entirely different species.
Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? - William Blake
A/N: KnightWolfe suggested there be a companion piece about Tsunade's thoughts regarding the male shinobi to go along with Rainbows, which showed Jiraiya's thoughts about the kunoichi. Rainbows is set after the time-skip, this one is set before but they are still intended to compliment each other. I sincerely hope he's not too disappointed in the way this turned out.
The title "Of the Lions and the Leopards and the Wolves the Khan Keeps for the Hunt" is the title of a chapter from the writings of Marco Polo as translated by Henry Yule.