Confessions and Revelations
Harriet's eyes focus heavily on the big brown envelope on Moira's lap, Cain was shifting from one foot to another chewing on his thumb while staring into space, Pete just staring in disbelief at the prospect of having his new found fatherhood snatched away in a cruel blow to his already sad loss.
"This is it then" Moira sighed her hands shaking while slowly opening the envelope, looking around the room as she removed the contents that was certainly going to change lives forever.
Shaking her head as tears that had been stinging her eyes began to fall, she scanned the results, ,99.9% paternity Cain Dingle in bold letters jumped out at her from the crisp, white page. A slight sigh of relief swept across her face as the prospect of having to live with the shame of having her nephew's baby suddenly left her thoughts forever, but having being faced with a life or death situation it was not her finest hour revealing that Pete was the child's father, it was a desperate plea for her life, and the life of her unexpected baby.
"Now's not the time to be messing around" Cain snapped angrily, his focus now on the baby, happily sound asleep unaware of the drama his short, little life had created. The tone of his voice suddenly bringing her back to reality and the situation in hand.
"Cain" Harriet whispered sternly, catching his gaze with a firm look on her face.
"What do you want me to say, I just want it over with" he replied to her firm look with one of his own,
"I'm sorry Pete, but Cain is the father" Moira quietly announced, hoping to let him down gently.
Harriet stared in disbelief at the blank expression on Cains face as the words "Cain is the father" echoed around her head. Is this really happening now, just as she was starting to feel loved and wanted in a happy relationship with a man who actually made her laugh everyday, a man who gave her a reason to get up in the mornings and look forward to his company in the evenings after a long day at work. A man. Her man. Cain Dingle.
"How could you do this to me" Pete snapped, tears welling up in his eyes as the anger in his voice deepened, "did you get some kind of kick out of it, the same way when you slept with my dad and had Adam" he added, the tears now rolling down his cheeks.
"You better watch your mouth" Cain angrily cut in, making his way over to where he was stood, peering into the crib at the stirring baby.
"That's enough Cain" Harriet told him, grabbing his arm pulling him back into her space,
"I really am sorry" Moira uttered above her sobs, as Pete barely managed to compose himself, "I shouldn't have said what I said, but your mother would have left me...us to die in that fire, I panicked, I had to say something...i was afraid for my life, our lives" she sighed hoping it would lessen the blow a little.
"Still doesn't make it right to string me along these past few days" he answered in an angry tone, before turning to Cain "looks like I've had a lucky escape mate" were his parting words as he barged out of the door.
Cain stood motionless, trying to take in the news that could potentially shatter his new found happy relationship with Harriet, the woman who he was falling deeper in love with everyday, the woman who made him smile, laugh, and gave him something to live for each day. The woman who believed in him despite everything he did back in the early days, the woman who finally accepted him for who he was and showed him just how happy life can be everyday with someone you love so dearly.
"What happens now then?" Harriet asked breaking the silence with the awkward question while trying to remain composed.
"Nothing" Cain scoffed, unable to make eye contact with either women. "This doesn't change anything" he added, his gaze focused on a stain on the floor.
"This changes everything...he is your son" Harriet stated, sounding a little concerned by Cain's statement.
"Cain's right, nothing has to change, he's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with me...or his son, and that's fine by me" Moira said, desperately trying to hold back the tears while just catching Cain's gaze who quickly turned away to hide his tears that were now threatening to fall.
"How can you say that, look at him Cain...look at your son" Harriet said, the anguish in her voice becoming more apparent.
"Why don't you get off telling me what to do" Cain angrily snapped, catching her gaze with an angry stare before storming out of the room, the door banging shut behind him.
"I'm sorry, I will speak to him" Harriet reassured Moira in a soft voice after noticing a wave of sadness and despair sweep across her face.
"It's fine, this really doesn't have to change anything...if he chooses to be a part of his son's life then that's up to him, but that's all...there's no way back for him and me" Moira reluctantly tried to reassure her, "I never thought I'd say this but...you are good for him and I wouldn't want that to change" she added managing a little smile.
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Harriet paused before opening the door to the pub, if Cain was in there he would have had enough time to drown his sorrows a few times over. She had given him more than enough time to calm down and somehow process the shock news of finding out he is a father again, granted most fathers' have a fair few months notice to get acquainted with the idea, but to be faced with it there and then with absolutely no advance warning must have struck a very raw nerve for him. It was only the other week she confessed it was all getting a bit too real for her and was afraid of something messing it up, his words "nothing is gonna mess it up, stop worrying" now swimming around in her head. Only she was worried, as this situation could mess it up. Taking a deep breath she slowly opened the door, peering round to find Cain sat on his own in the corner slumped over a half full pint glass, his gaze focused on a photograph of Debbie, Kyle, Sarah, and Jack in front of him.
"Pint please Marlon" Harriet requested walking up to the bar while keeping one eye on Cain.
"Approach with caution" Marlon told her while looking in Cain's direction, "he's not exactly in a chatty mood" he added quietly,
"It's ok" she replied with a half smile before taking a big gulp from her glass.
"Hey" she said softly sitting down next to him, "lovely photo" she added, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
"If you've come here to lecture me again then save your breath" Cain snapped taking a gulp from his pint.
"Why are you always on the defensive?" Harriet asked sarcastically, "we need to talk about this whether you like it or not" she added in a softer tone.
"It's simple...i'm not interested in Moira, the baby, or anything else regarding it" Cain replied sternly,
"No Cain, it's not that simple" Harriet snapped back "I have things to consider" she whispered to hide the sadness in her voice.
"Why don't you realise it doesn't have to change anything for you and me" he replied in a softer tone taking her hand, while looking deep into her eyes.
"I wish I could believe that" she sounded disheartened, desperately searching his eyes for her answer,
"What you on about?" Cain enquired taking a drink,
"You say all this now...but in a few weeks or months you might realise you should be with Moira and your son, they need you more than I do" she replied, turning her head away trying not to let the tears that were now stinging her eyes fall.
"And I need you" Cain told her, lifting her chin to meet with her now blurry gaze, "Harriet...i need you" he whispered softly, his big brown eyes melting into the few tears that were now rolling down her cheeks.
"Cain don't make this any harder than than it is already...im walking away so you can do the right thing by your son" she said choking back the tears,
"But I can still do that and have you" he replied sounding a little hopeful,
"I'm sorry but I can't be second best...and that's what I will feel like, I just can't put myself through that...wondering if one day you will go back to her" she sounded more sure of herself.
"So that's it...your just gonna walk away?" He asked in a shaky voice
"I was offered a job in Oxford a few weeks ago, they need to know today if I'm taking it...i just think this is the perfect time to go" she replied to his question with a hint of sadness in her tone.
"What...your not...please tell me" was all Cain managed to say before Harriet cut him off,
"I haven't made a final decision yet" she sounded hopeful, while rising from her seat, "bye Cain" she whispered before turning to leave,
"Harriet...wait" he called as the door closed behind her, leaving him all alone with his thoughts.
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The next morning had a certain 'quietness' to it, the birds were just barely up and chatting to each other until...
"Harriet...Harriet!" Cain called out while banging on the door to Woodbine Cottage,
"What on earth..." Pearl shouted as she opened the door, "have you any idea what time it is?" She added with a yawn.
"I need to speak to Harriet...i need to let her know something...but she's not answering my calls" Cain replied sounding desperate,
"She's not here...she's gone" Pearl said sternly,
"What do you mean gone...oh no please...no...Harriet" he shouted while turning to run in the direction of the church.
"Harriet...thank god" Cain shouted, bursting through the church door to the woman with her back to him, "I thought I'd missed you" he added almost out of breath,
"I'm afraid you already have" said an unfamiliar voice turning round to face him,
"Wait...what...no" he shouted with panic and despair in his voice, a worried look swept across his face, "who are you and where's Harriet?" Cain snapped looking the young woman in the eye,
"Harriet has taken the job in Oxford, it was all a bit sudden and I'm just filling in till they find her replacement" she answered his question while holding his gaze, trying to sympathise with his anguish, "She left this for you" she added, handing him an envelope to which he wasted no time in ripping open.
My dearest Cain...it began
"I'm so sorry to leave so suddenly, especially as we were getting on so well before all the drama with Emma, Moira and your beautiful son. I had envisaged a future for the both of us as I know you did too, but i just couldn't face the taunts off your family, them always blaming me for your lack of interest towards your son, the prospect of you getting close to Moira again and eventually leaving me for her. I know you said all that doesn't matter and you can see a way past it all, but I know I can't, I really hope you understand why I had to do this, you will see it was for the best in the long run."
All my love always Harriet
"No...no...no" Cain shook his head while reading the last few lines, the few tears that were now stinging his eyes began to fall,
"How long ago did she go?" He asked sounding hopeful,
"She asked me not to tell you anything" she replied, "but I would say about half an hour ago" she added raising his hopes a little more,
"Thankyou" he called while running to the door,
"The station, and good luck" the vicar called after him.
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The drive to the station seemed to take forever, panic had already set in as he couldn't get the thoughts of what if he'd missed her out of his head. The only thing that matters to him right now is finding her to tell her what he should have said yesterday, but as usual he was behaving like an idiot, which Harriet took great delight in pointing out on many occasions, but he didn't mind as he was her idiot, a small smile swept across the sadness on his face as her laugh echoed in his head, that certain laugh she did after reminding him of it.
"What time is the train to Oxford leaving?" Cain asked at the ticket booth, while trying to catch his breath,
"Anytime now" replied the friendly looking woman from behind the glass,
This is not happening he thought racing through the crowds of people, almost knocking children over while frantically searching for the platform from where the train was departing. "Platform for Oxford?" Cain shouted in the crowd, "right over the other side mate" came an answer from within.
Bursting through the crowd Cain stared in disbelief at the empty platform in front of him, the train had already left and was just visable in the distance. "You have to stop that train!" Cain shouted, grabbing hold of a guard. "I'm afraid I can't do that sir" he replied, trying to separate himself from Cain's grip. "I don't care what it takes...i have money...just stop that damn train!" He despaired. "Like I said sir, I can't do that" the guard replied to his disappointed look, "yeah, thanks for nothing mate" he snapped.
Feeling defeated Cain turned to begin the long walk back through the station alone, shaking his head while wiping away the tears that were now rolling down his cheeks, furiously kicking a can that somehow had the misfortune to find itself at his feet.
"What has that can ever done to you?" Asked a familiar voice from behind him,
"Harriet?" He called spinning round in the hope he hadn't just heard that in his head,
"Cain" she replied softly, closing the gap between them.
"I thought I'd missed you" he smiled, breathing a huge sigh of relief,
"I've missed my train so have to wait for the next one" Harriet sighed, "what are you doing here?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"Well I'm not here to catch a train" he joked trying to lighten the mood,
"Yes I gathered that, unless you plan on coming with me...so why are you here?" She asked the question again sounding more impatient,
"Why do you think?" He replied, his big brown eyes looking into the sadness of her eyes,
"That's always the answer with you...i'm done Cain...just go back and leave me alone" she snapped turning to walk away.
"I love you" he shouted "I love you" he said softly, grabbing her arm to stop her taking another step.
Turning to face him he wrapped his arms around her waist while looking deep into her eyes, "please don't leave me, I don't want to wake up alone again tomorrow or any other day, just come back with me now and we will find a way through all this mess...i...we..."
"I don't know if I can" Harriet cut in, "I've not made this decision lightly...its because I love you why I have to leave" she whispered to hide the sadness in her voice,
"That doesn't make any sense" he choked,
"It will one day" she sighed
"What do I have to do to convince you that everything will be ok?" He asked sounding hopeful
"You could try by leaving me alone" Harriet replied in a firm tone
"That's not an option" he quickly cut in, leaning forward he captured her lips in a desperate bid to make her see sense, and, after trying so hard to resist, she finally gave in and kissed him back, pulling him closer as he grabbed the the side of her neck, his tongue forcing it's way through her parted lips to meet with hers, her fingers clawing at his hair as the adrenalin rushed through her entire body, but just as their kiss deepened she pulled away.
"What...is that it...where are you going" Cain called after her as she turned to walk away.
"Yours" shes smiled, biting her bottom lip while taking his hand in hers, their fingers intertwining so as not to let each other go...