Minute Waltz

by MissTempleton

I heard Chopin's 'Minute Waltz' on the radio, and it made me want to write a quickfire casefic that would last no longer than a minute. I'd like to think it's as elegant as Chopin; if not, it was at least fun to write! I read it through with my actor brother. Turns out it lasts the same amount of time as the Minute Waltz (c. 90 secs) and my brother sounds Nothing Like Nathan. :(

Minute Waltz

"The room was locked."

"Jack, no room is ever truly locked."

"The room was to all appearances locked."

"Where was the key?"

"In the janitor's pocket."

"And the janitor was?"

"In his office."

"More than a hundred yards away, then. When was the loss of the Chancellor's Chain discovered?"

"Right after dinner."

"I'm guessing this wasn't scrambled eggs in the pantry?"

"Correct. Fourteen courses, including a roast swan."

"Isn't there a law about that, Jack?"

"Yes. It was obeyed."

"Pity. Is the Chancellor rich?"

"Yes. He owns a good chunk of a gold mine in Ballarat and an entire street in Armadale."

"Blast. Suspect number one out the window."

"I think even I could have spotted that one, Miss Fisher."

"Onwards and upwards, Inspector. It has value both for its content and its symbolism."

"It does. The Chancellor is a new appointment."

"Really?"

"Miss Fisher, I'm appalled. This is an appointment as much about the social as the academic. Surely you have met George Melville, who has done so much for the scientific community in Melbourne?"

"I have. He pinched me. I have no desire to meet him again, and I suspect the feeling's mutual, given the damage my heel will have done to his metatarsals."

"I'm glad I didn't know that. I might perhaps have struggled to keep a professional front. However, we are no further in finding the Chain."

"Oh, I can tell you where that is, Jack."

"Really?"

"The janitor has it."

"The janitor? How so?"

"The janitor is an adorable man called Davy James, who used to work for the execrable Melville. He will have stolen the Chain out of spite. Explain to him politely that even if it's entirely understandable, it's still theft and he won't get a Christmas Box from Miss Fisher if he doesn't hand it over."

"We don't do Christmas Boxes in jail, Miss Fisher."

"I know. He's getting one this year. As usual."