A/N: Ah, the beautiful idiocy continues! Because, frankly, one Biscuits? story just wasn't enough. XD This one is even worse than the first one, in my opinion. But it was inspired by real events! Oh, there is so much that can be done with craptastic bellbottoms, Dally, pudding, and folk singing!
Disclaimer: You've heard it all before. I don't own the gang. I don't own The Little Beggar Girl, which is what Johnny sings. I don't own Project Runway or American Idol, either. All I own are Johnnykid's stupid cat ears (he stole them from me, you know!) and the pants. Spencer Trent and Jack Parton coined the phrase, "Let's go be cool and hang pudding on doors".
WARNING: Hahaha, the saga continues! I know it's OOC, and I know it's dumb, and I know it's historically inaccurate. Leave me be!
Inspired by Marcia's comments about my super-tuff bellbottoms that aren't actually orange.
Quite a time had past since the American Idol-and-biscuits fiasco, and Dally felt that it was finally safe to return to the Curtis home. He immediately regretted this decision upon entering the door.
From above, a bucket of a dessert-like substance was dropped onto the unsuspecting head of Mister Winston.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?!" he demanded, discarding the bucket onto the ground, and shoving the door very violently.
"It's pudding!" Ponyboy announced with a smile. "Soda and I decided to be cool and hang pudding on doors."
Dally stared at him with a puzzled expression, then shook his head. "Right."
Ponyboy high-fived Soda.
"Isn't it super-tuff?!" the middle Curtis wanted to know, bouncing in excitement.
"Oh, yes, Sodapop," Dallas muttered sarcastically. "I'm coated in a film of pudding, and I just feel so tuff that it isn't even funny."
Soda didn't catch the sarcasm. "Awesome! Hey, are you staying for dinner tonight? I'm making BISCUITS."
"I AM ALLERGIC TO BISCUITS AND I THOUGHT WE ESTABLISHED THIS LAST TIM— what the…?"
Johnny chose that moment to explode in through the back door. He was still wearing the faux cat ears from the last installment, and he was still singing. But this time, the Gang's Pet was holding a sparkly, orange pair of bellbottoms.
"I am just a little beggar girl, and Sally is my name!" he sang out, prancing into the living room to greet his friends. "You may call me a skiver and I'll call you the same! You can show me you're sorry if you think it's a shame that I'm only a poor little beggar girl!"
Two-Bit, who had taken teleportation lessons from Darry, suddenly appeared in the room and began to clap. "JOHNNYKID, THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!"
"Thanks…"
For some reason, no one besides Dally noticed the gaudy pair of trousers Johnny was holding.
"Um, Johnnycake? What's with the pants?" he inquired.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you!" Mister Cade replied ecstatically. "I'm trying out to be on Project Runway! Aren't these pants so fashion? I designed them myself!"
In all honesty, Dallas would almost prefer being forced to wear Sylvia's clothes than to wear those pants. But for his favourite little Greaser's sake, he kept from upchucking. "Oh… yeah… beautiful…"
"Will you model them for me?"
"WILL I WHAT?!"
"Cummon, Dal!" Johnny pleaded. "I designed them especially for you! They'll make you look tuff!"
Dally cursed himself for being a slave to the helplessness in the Pet's eyes (and in the non-slashy way, surprisingly!). "Umm… I dunno if I should… err…. I have to go feed my cat so I can't… but I want to… umm…"
"Dally, please?" he was nearly groveling at the towheaded boy's feet, for some unknown reason. After all, they were just crummy disco pants.
The sight at hand made Dallas crumble because, remember, he loves Johnny and only Johnny.
The members of the gang that happened to be in the room were shocked. They knew that the Toughest Hood In Tulsa would not be caught in leg-wear that loud and/or ugly.
"Oh-em-gee!" Pony exclaimed. "Are you serious?!"
Pony's supposed best friend looked hurt.
"I mean… umm… THOSE PANTS ARE SO AWESOME!"
Dally flipped Ponyboy off, and jerked the pants away from Johnnycake. He didn't even want to try them on, much less model them for Project Runway.
Maybe they won't fit, he thought hopelessly.
But, they did. And the gang minus Johnny laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. But when Dally screamed, "CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL MURDER ALL'A Y'ALL!", they stopped.
His outburst was followed by an extremely uncomfortable silence, which Soda eventually broke by remarking, "So… umm… who wants biscuits?"