Author note: I started this after season 8 ended. It is supposed to happen before and after season 8 finale episodes. Those two episodes were SO SAD that I had to write something sweeter for my favorite partnership on this show. Sorry, there is a spoiler for the season 8 finally. So, don't read if you haven't watched that yet.

'why didn't you tell me before that you were in love with me?' she finally broke the silence.

he doesn't answer. she looks up at him. he is still awake. he is looking up at the ceiling.

'I don't know.'

'that story you told in the woods that happened three years ago. we had that talk over Christmas about telling each other everything and two years ago you said in OPS that you loved me and then you kinda pulled back again. I know it was probably just a slip but still… and three years ago when we practically spend 2 weeks pretending to be together and you didn't say a word.'

'I didn't want to ruin our friendship.'

you look surprised at him.

'why would you think it would ruin our friendship if you told me?'

'because…' he is drawing circles on her arm. it is distracting to her but she got to stay focused. 'i didn't think you were in love with me.'

those words hurt her a lot more than she thought they would.

'why would you think that?'

'you've never said anything. and the one time I asked you out like for real you canceled.'

'you have never asked me out on a date.'

'well I tried but…'

She realizes what he is talking about.

'wait a second. the dickens fair at Christmas. You never said that was a date.'

He closes his eyes. A little embarrassed. 'I thought you knew. I mean… I have been wanted to ask you on a date for a long time but… I'm not good at that stuff. But then you canceled. I know you had a good reason but it kind of made me take a step back.

'Eric…' Nell sits up to look him in the eyes. 'I didn't mean to turn you down. I felt really bad for cancel our Christmas plans together.' She takes his hands in hers. He looks down. Not want to look at her afraid of what is going to come out of her mouth next. 'if you had asked me on a date at any time I would have said yes.'

He looks up at her right away.

'really?'

'yes. Of cause.'

He smiles at her. A perfect 100 Watt smile.

'Nell will you go on a date with me?' he asks.

She smiles. 'I thought we kind of already where.'

He looks around in his dark messy living room that is only light up by the paused star wars movie one the tv.

'you come over to my place at 11 pm is not exactly the kind of date I had in mind.'

They both start laughing.

'what kind of date did you have in mind?' she asks teasing him to come up with something.

'you and me on the beach surfing.'

That answer came a lot quicker than she expected.

'wow.'

'if… if you don't want to do that we can just go do something else.' He sounds nervous now. Nell realizes her respond sounded like a rejection.

'no, no, no. the beach sounds perfect. I just wasn't expecting you to have a quick answer it sounds like you been thinking about that a lot.'

'The looks down a little I guess I have. Your brother once asked me now that I a California boy if I had taken you on a beach date.'

Nell starts laughing. 'that sounds so much like my brother Tim. What did you tell him?'

'well pretending to be your boyfriend and, that fact it was killing me that it wasn't true. I just played along. I mean I guess it is a cliché for a California guy to take a girl on a beach date.'

Nell only hears one part of that sentence. 'what do you mean it was killing you that it wasn't true. I thought you liked spending Christmas with me that year.'

'I did. I did but…' he looks down at their hands. 'having you so close to me all the time and basically, do things like wrapping my arms around you. Hold you close to me and you slide your hand into min like no one was supposed to notice it. And at night when you fell asleep you wrapped your arm around me and held me tight and placed your head on my shoulder. I know that was just in your sleep but… That was driving me crazy.'

Nell blush. Thinking about that Christmas. She didn't only do those things to keep up their 'cover story but because now she had an excuse to be close to her partner that normally it would be inappropriate to behave like that.

'I wasn't a sleep.' She admits looking down.

'what?' he sounds very surprised but can't help a little smile creeping up on his lips.

'Nell why didn't you just tell me?'

'we were only supposed to pretend to be together for my family. I didn't ask you to spend Christmas with me to make you be my boyfriend.'

'it would not have bothered me.'

She looks at him with disbelieve but can't hide the big smile. They look into each other's eyes and slowly move closer to each other and their lips finally meet end a sweet, soft yet passionate long kiss.

This day hadn't exactly been a normal day neither had yesterday. Sam's wife Michelle had been kidnapped and suffered to death while Sam and the team only could run against time. Then Sam had gone on a solo revenge against Tahir Khaled who had also stolen Michelle's body on the way to the morgue. Ultimately Sam had killed Tahir in a big explosion. Though all this sadness happened to Sam it also brought some happy inspiration to Kensi. Nell and Kensi had had a talk about losing someone that close to you and right after that Kensi had proposed to Deeks right then and there. All though all this Eric had been back in OPS. He didn't know anything about the proposal. After seeing so much love between Kensi and Deeks and all the sadness in Sam. All Nell wanted was to spend time with her best friend in the world. Her partner who was back in OPS.

But when she got Back to OPS he wasn't there. OPS were shot down for the day. She had run down to Hetty's office that also was empty. She had just grabbed her bag and decided to go home – alone. When she heard Hetty's voice behind her.

'Oh, Miss Jones.'

Nell had been a little startled and turned around.

'hey, Hetty. Have you by any chance seen Eric?'

'yes, Mr. Beale left about an hour ago. It has been a long day for all of us. You should go home too.'

'yes, Hetty. Good night.'

Nell started to walk towards the exit.

'Miss Jones. It is okay to cry and feel weak after a day like this one.'

Nell just looked at Hetty. Not really knowing how to respond to that.

'right… Good night Hetty.' Then she had turned around and left the office.

When Nell got home she had been restless. She couldn't figure out what to do or what to eat or if she should eat anything or just go to bed.

Without really thinking about what she was doing she ended up standing outside Eric's apartment at 11. Pm. He had hesitant open the door for her and looked quite surprised at her.

'Nell what are you doing here?' he had asked. She didn't say anything. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt with some geeky text. She started crying and wrapped her arms around her.

"I don't want to lose you." You cried against his neck. He was surprised but thinking back about the last two days. It wasn't that surprising that she would react like this. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't want to lose you either." After a long time of just standing in the door hugging one another. They finally broke apart.

"Sorry, Eric. i… I…"

"you don't have to explain. Come on in." they walk into the living room and quickly falls into their regular routine with the movie, popcorn, and beer. They watched the movie and fall asleep on the couch. as Nell slowly drifted off to sleep she had the feeling that everything had changed today but maybe not all for the bad.

Nothing will ever be the same for the team again and especially not for Sam and his family. But maybe Just because things won't be the same, doesn't mean that they won't be okay.

Note: the last sentence is actually a quote, taken from the tv-show the fosters s5e4.