This is my first fanfiction completely written in English. I hope everyone will be as much critical as possible about my grammar and use of the language... but if you also say something about the story per se I'll still appreciated your effort XD
I started this on a whim after I began watching the show in a really (and I mean REALLY) boring afternoon. I actually enjoyed it and I plan to find out more about it while I learn how to use this website. I'm not new to writing fanfictions, but you could say I'm a little... rusty.
Which is the best place to do what you want without being discovered? Underground. And more deeply one goes and better it is. No noisy neighbors, no space problems and no possibilities of a bird doing his businesses on your head. Also, if you have particular aesthetical preferences, nothing wrong comes to build your lair next to a crystalline lake or even a magma vein. These are just the most common examples, but there are lots of possibilities. The only problems is the lack of sunrays, but that can be a minor problem if you can get used to it.
All these benefits, however, never crossed the mind of the owner of the place: the lair were only corridors with bare steel walls all around a huge central hall. It was more like a military base than a place where someone could live. The only "decoration" was an underground river, but it was merely used for water supplies, sewer and free electric energy. In the face of the stupid tax exactors who hardly look deeper than one kilometer down the surface. The owner, as a little joke, put the highest point of that nearly 1km in diameter facility precisely 1001 m deep.
Your next question may be something like "who is this guy and what does he do in such a place?" and that's exactly what I'm going to tell you, just shut up and read, will ya? I promise I'll get there – eventually – just let me do it at my own pace.
Now, where was I? Ah, yes…
In that huge place, only two things were moving: a big robot and a printer. The first one was tall, a tiny head, a round-shaped body made of some brown ceramic-like material and long and thin limbs made of flat portions of the same material of the body that intersected with each other making it look pretty unstable. It was preparing tea next to the printer, which was printing like crazy something that looked like a report or an essay several hundred pages long.
Like two perfectly synchronized clocks, both the machine finished their work at the same time with a loud "PING". The huge robot took the tea and poured it in a bent metallic cup, then took both the cup and the pile of pages and left the room.
A short and straight corridor led to a thick-looking security door. Unfortunately, the door was too small for the body of the automata, but fear not, a laser beam from between its eyes and a bigger passage was cut through the thick steel wall. It just had to enter while the metal was still hot and, after that, mold the wall back into shape with his precise robotic hands. The result was pretty much identical as before. Then, it turned around to face the center of the room: there stood a circular structure about five meters in diameter and an impressive amount of machines, computers and monitors. All of them were going full throttle providing the right amount of energy to the big... let's call it "circle" for now. That room alone was around 70% of the whole facility.
The silent automata stayed at safety distance while the energy was building up and the circle started emitting flashes of blue light. The flow of energy stabilized and a bigger flash beamed across the whole room. After that, a humanoid figure was standing in the middle of the circle while it was cooling down. He was a tall middle-aged man dressed as a pirate with a bloodthirsty look on his scarred and beardy face. His clothes were burned and worn out and but it was hard to tell if they were red to begin with or they have been colored in… alternative ways.
YARRR! I'mma back, bitches! Hey Ping, long time no see, ya rusty piece of mothafuckin' junk! Gimme ma tea, hurry! Ma body's all stiff for all tha' pillaging and ma old wound's achin'!
The obedient Ping, that was the name the master gave it, gave the cup to its master who grabbed it and gulped it down fast. Then, he threw it right at the automata's head with a loud clanging sound.
BLEARGH! That's horrible! I come back after all these years and you still can't make a decent tea, you useless robot! I'm going to take a shower and read the report, you prepare everything for my next departure.
Shouted the man in a sudden surge of normal speech after the pirate talk from before.
The robot nodded, then made a "PING".
Of course I'm leaving again! That was number ninety-nine, do you know what that means? Just one more and I'll be the supreme ruler of one hundred universes! At last, my final goal is at hand. Put this in the Souvenir Vault and set the coordinates.
He put a little squared object from his pocket to the robot's hand and left the room. The metallic servant checked the item: a compass, a broken one. That was strange. The master was not the kind of man to bring back home some random junk. Usually he brings back something strange, really important or even embedded in some powerful (and dark) magic. Maybe it was some kind of incredible artifact?
The robot was a product of ancient technology, it couldn't understand magic. Someone could say it didn't "like" it, but Ping was not programmed to like o dislike things, so that would be an incorrect statement. Everything the master brought through the Gate of Infinite Worlds (alias, the circle) was his property and no law was ever written to go against that. A classic of jurisdictional loopholes in multidimensional robbery: nobody that doesn't exist in a the same dimension can be persecuted for any crime.
The diligent machine pressed a few buttons to start the process. When its master was away, it had already found a new universe to conquer. This one was quite strange, even for their standards. Someone could say Ping hoped for the master to like it.
When the master came back, he was… completely different. Where before stood a pirate with sunburned skin, now was a young man not even in his twenties with pale skin, long raven hair and grey eyes dressed with just a grey jersey and a lab coat. The difference in appearance was stunning, but the reason is not a simple shower: since conquering one hundred universes in only a lifetime was obviously impossible, one of the master favorite Souvenirs, as well as one of the first things he ever brought back with him, was a medical pod taken from a technologically advanced world which rejuvenated him every time he desired. That way, he didn't have to worry about something like a time limit. Thanks to that miraculous item, years of pirate life just disappeared from his body, scars and wounds included.
That was good. Soap and shampoo really are two of humankind greatest inventions. Now, what do you have for me this time?
His eyes went to the monitors, checking every number and graphic at incredibly fast pace. An evil smirk appeared on his face while he approached the main computer.
Oh ~ sounds good. Never seen such high levels of Magic Ratio. This world sure looks perfect to be my one hundredth kingdom. Maybe I can have the inhabitants build a giant statue in my honor once I'm done with them. I just hope it's not like THAT one world…
The last part was said while giving an inquiring look to the robot which answered raising both hands.
PING
You checked? Good. I don't want another crazy adventure with metamorphic dogs, candy people and a idiotic teenager.
PING
…are you being sarcastic with me? I don't remember reprogramming you for sarcasm.
PING
Oh, that's right, I did. You were really boring before, but now you can be also annoying.
PING…
Why don't you open the portal instead of sulking? I'm eager to start. This time I'm going at full power, that place won't last a week against all the powers and artifacts I've gained so far. I'm going to bring… the Pouch.
He showed the object he was talking about: a simple white pouch. What was so special about it? Well, it was an… involuntary gift from a cat without ears. It was able to summon everything inside the Souvenir Vault just by putting a hand in it and thinking of the object, no matter the distance or even the dimension. The master never used before because "otherwise it would be too easy", until now. It was totally overkill.
PING
Fuck the cooling and detoxification time! I'm going now!
The young man ran to the portal securing the Pouch to his belt.
Activate the measures for safe landing. Pinpoint coordinates for densely inhabited location. Check inter-dimensional communications. Stealth transfer mode… deactivated.
PING
Why go secretly if I'm going to release hell immediately after? Deactivate it.
PING
I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Ready? Charge the electromagions, increase the angle a speed of spin and begin the countdown.
Once again the blue flashes began to light the big room like if it were in the middle of a lightning storm. Many lines and numbers on several monitors started to get crazy.
PING
I don't care! Go on!
If it were able to get worried, Ping would have done so. You don't need a several exabites powerful processor to know that the word "ALERT" written pretty much everywhere is not a good thing.
PING
ABOARD, YA STINKY SCOUNDRELS!
The flashes got brighter and faster and then the biggest one came. For a moment everything was completely white and blue, then silence fell and the master was gone.
The mental schemes of the metallic servant immediately suggested to start maintenance to find the source of the problem. Even if all the blueprints were memorized in its hard disk, it would have taken two to three weeks to check the whole system and repair eventual damages. Now that the Gate was at zero activity, Ping was not even sure if the Pouch was able to work without a subtle channel of electromagions to connect it with their dimension. Hopefully, the master wouldn't need any help until repairs were complete.
But, God, he really needed it.
I hope some of you got the good amount of quotes from films and cartoons I put in this first chapter and I'd like to specify that it's totally intentional. Think of this like a strange crossover where everything could show up.
Let's see how many can get all the quotes right. Who is able to do so will receive... a virtual hug? Nah, for the moment let's keep our vital spaces intact and settle with a notification in the next chapter ;)