a/n: Thanks so much to (metma) Mandy and Hermione L. Granger for looking at this and correcting my mistakes! :::throws them 2,000 galleons::: And as ::bows down::: the supreme ruler of the universe, creator of METMA (Mandy for all you who've lived under a rock and don't know who I'm talking about) said to me, Draco doesn't wear leather pants. YES, I know Draco does not wear leather pants in the books... But honestly, I don't care! ;o) He's in fanfictionland now and he does SO wear leather pants! And if you don't believe me... ask... ask... someone who believes me! (hehehe)
I am nothing now. I can't believe how wasted my life was. I used to be somebody! I used to be the most looked up to pair of pants in the universe... Until... Humiliation!
I was on the top rack in Madam Malkin's High Class Gear. Now to be in the top rack, that's something! I wasn't made from just any leather, no sir. I was made of the finest quality leather from all over the world. And I worked hard to be on the top rack, making sure I only talked to the right kinds of clothing. I never spoke a word to whites, and to nothing that was artificial. I was popular, all the miniskirts wanted me.. I had my life planned out. Until that cursed day...
It all started with that snobby little Malfoy boy. After a bunch of letters girls wrote him asking him to wear leather, he wanted to go shopping for a pair. That little git was so obsessed with himself, he would wear anything anyone thought he looked good in. He passed into a branch of Madam Malkin's clothing facilities, where I happened to resign. I was minding my own business, chatting with a nice black leather jacket from Spain when he pulled me off the rack! He did it not very lightly, mind you. He got his grubby little fingers all over me!
When he paid for me, he actually balled me up into a bag! A bag! He was not even trying to fold me nicely or treat me the correct way.. I was squished in a heap the whole way back! And when he finally got home and straightened me out, he had the nerve to say, "These pants sure look greasy... I bet a mudbloods and muggles probably touched them." As if I would let a muggle put a finger on me! His grimy fingers were the only thing in a week to touch me, so it was his fault. And as if that weren't enough he called out to the house elves to, "Wash the pants in the next load of laundry." Wash? WASH!? I did not just hear the word wash! Doesn't he know that water ruins leather? The stupid Malfoy boy would have washed me too, if his mother hadn't told him straight...It's not easy being leather!
So, as things turn out, Malfoy wears me all the time. The first day he wore me to Hogwarts, things were lookin' up. All the people noticed me, and I do admit I looked very good on him. The girls went crazy, the boys were envious. Him and I were the perfect team...
But as time went by, I realized I lived a very dangerous life! I constantly was smacked and grabbed by hands, who didn't even seem to care what shape I would be in afterwards. Neither did Malfoy, he just grinned, which made them do it more! You don't know how embarrassing it is to have scratches or patches missing in you from a girl's fingernails... After a while I was an ongoing joke.. But worse happened to me, much worse!
One day, Malfoy was wearing me while he was going to Hogsmead. He walked into the "Three Broomsticks" and passed by a table full of people. They had a sign in front that said, "Rabid Fan-Fiction Authors." (Whatever that is.) Oh, that cursed memory... It was the end of me! Not within two seconds of glimpsing him did they start grabbing at me! Someone ripped some of me here, some of me there, and before I knew it I was just little scraps on the floor. It's not easy being leather! The girls carried him away and all the rest of the people followed. I was alone, broken, ashamed and embarrassed in pieces on the floor. I laid there, not knowing what to do. What if the skirts and dresses found out? What would they think of me then? I would never be the same... But there was still some hope someone would find me, someone more caring than Malfoy who would put me back together. So it's an hour later, and I'm still in despair on the floor, looking back at my life...
A black haired, green eyed kid and a redhead walk in. Ouch! They're stepping on me and they don't even seem to notice. Dumb little gits! Oh... the redhead sees me! This is it! He's going to pick me up and put me back together and I can live my life again...
"Hey, Miss Rosmerta! You need to come sweep over here, there's small bits of crap on the floor.."