I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS!

The first chapter isn't that funny in my view . . . next chapters will be funnier!

Dear Diary,

I have no Idea why I'm doing this . . . but I may as well start with a proper introduction like a normal British Gent. My name is Arthur Kirkland more commonly known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

So for starters I've been feeling pretty annoyed lately and America says that I should "chill out" and France decided to give me this diary to "get my sexual frustrations out on." Okay first of all: I have no sexual frustrations and secondly: Why am I actually doing what France told me to . . .?

Seriously I'm surrounded by idiots.

Okay, so we were having this world meeting and I was casually drinking my Earl Gray and America was wittering on about him being the "hero" and whatnot, I decided to chip in and ask him if he had an actual plan to which he replied, "Dude, weren't you listening for the past five minutes?"

Then I said "Why would I want to listen to your delusional twittering?"

Then he made that stupid face. He tilted his head to the side looked me in the eyes sadly and said:

"Do you really think that Iggy?"

Iggy?

"My name is England, not Iggy." I replied angrily whilst shaking my fist at him.

Then he gave me a mischievous look and started to prance around the room singing; "Iggy Iggy Iggy Iggy."

It was atrocious! I mean his singing was terrible! I felt my face flush a bright red and he turned to me and said with all the innocence of a small child.

"Is there a problem Iggy?"

And that's when I threw my Teacup at him.

Oh that's not all; I managed to strangle him before being physically restrained by France. The pervert only did it to get his arms on me. I suddenly feel so violated . . . anyway then he gave me this diary to get rid of my "sexual tensions" as I have said before.

Wow, now reading over my rant I feel like . . . Like such a girl, sudden thought: If America or France found this . . . good bye England.

Oh wait I have to go, Flying mint bunny is calling me.

By the way, I probably won't be writing in here anymore, after all this was France's stupid dare.

Signed

England – the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

England snapped his book shut quickly and stored it in his underwear drawer where he hoped that France would never look, but then who knows, he is France after all.

He went to his living room to make himself a cup of tea, along the way he chatted to flying mint bunny and his other magical friends. As he sat on his armchair and got comfy, he took a sip of the warm liquid before the door suddenly swung open and America charged in.

"Yo dude! France told me you had a diary, can I read it Iggy?" America asked in an absurdly loud tone.

"When you learn to speak proper English!" England snapped.

"But Iggy! I only know how to speak American!" America whined.

"okay a) My name is England, b) American is not a language and c) get out of my house."

America then started to pout, "Fine!" He said and stormed out.

England then rose from his chair and locked the door wearily and made his way to his room, he yanked open his underwear drawer and pulled out his Diary.

P.S. forget what I said earlier, I have a LOT of pent up Sexual tensions.

Fail story is a fail XD I promise I'll be funnier in later chapters~!