AN: I was bored and this came up. (: Hope you people enjoy and please drop a review... Reviews are gold. XD
Disclaimer: Nonono, I don't own bleach nor it's characters. Our wonderful Tite Kubo owns it and I'm not gonna snatch it. (Don't have the ability anyway... )
You Need...
A football coach arrived at Karakura high to coach a football team as apparently all the football members had miracle-ly lost their memories and was currently residing in the hospital (actually it happened was all because of Rukia's memory removal which was having some technical problem. It had caused the victim to lost all their memories instead of some parts of it.)
Unsurprisingly, the class of a certain orange hair substitute shinigami was picked to be trained. Partly it was because the class had performed extremely well in their academic result, earning the highest class's average score in the whole history of Karakura High. It was also due to the fact that, this class, 1-03 had unimaginable bad lucks. Problems, trouble and disasters seem to be able to get their way to this class no matter what. It was highly suspected that the fault lies entirely on a certain 15 years old substitute shinigami.
That was why during this burning hot afternoon, there was this group of armatures practicing in the field instead of the regular members.
Pointing at the freaking out Keigo the coach shouted, "You! You need to work on your footwork, don't you ever dare try yelling 'Eez! The ball is coming!' ever again. Footballs are not cockroaches. Also, you are not to hug the football and say 'Nee-san! Your boobs are so big!'"
Crunching his head Keigo yelled towards the air, "Mizuro! WHY? Why did you leave so early? You and I both know that your mom's still oversea! It's impossible for her to take you out for some special meeting… So WHY? WHY did you leave me here alone? I'm getting scolded all aloneeeeeeeeeeeeee…."
"NO! That is not allowed either! Stop yelling the name Mizuro, I don't care if he is your boyfriend nor do I care if you are a gay, CONCENTRATE! Now run for the ball. NO! You are to run forward not horizontally!"
"Yo, Keigo. Having some hard time huh?" A certain orange hair substitute shinigami spoke after kicking the football in front of him.
After shutting the wailing Keigo up, the coach turning towards the orange haired boy, "You. You have a muscular body. You are strong. You have a good seminal, you footwork's ok. But… Can you please control the strength you use to kick the football? Now, you're to pick up all the footballs you have kicked into the city around 20 kilometers from here. Am I understood?"
"Yes, sir." Ichigo nodded his head unwillingly.
"Ooh. Looks like someone's getting scolded."
Turning to the raven haired girl who had just appeared in front of him, the coach order, "YOU. Leave the field this instant unless you are a male. And stop seducing my boys!"
"K…"
"And you." He turned towards the long orange hair human named, Orihime Inoue who was wearing her usual green flower pin and standing behind the raven haired girl, he said, "You are to stop calling 'Kurosaki-kun'. And, stay away from the field! Get out NOW!"
The coach then put on his sun-glasses and a very serious and low tone, he said, "You baldy. Stop swinging the stick..."
"It's a WOODEN SWORD and I'm not BADLY you asshole!" Ikkaku interrupted with a scream.
"If you continue hitting the football with the stick(It's a SWORD!) I'll turn your head into a shining football." The coach continued.
"(glup)Yes, sir."
After a moment of silence, "HOW DARE YOU INSUl…"
Ikkaku's scream was cut off by a football hitting him directly in the face, full force.
"Oops, sorry, Ikkaku…" Ichigo apologized sincerely to the Ikkaku who fell down and into mud unconscious.
"Ah… So dirty, so ulgy. My eye will wasted on such things." Ayasegawa cried and proceed to covering his eyes with his hands.
"Get out, you bird." And the coach kicked blindfolded Ayasegawa out of the field.
"How dare you land your dirty hands on me?"
"Bird, just out and get rid of that fur of yours." The coach answered.
"What fur, it's a feather. It's a beautiful feather made of the…"
The coach ignored the rambling Ayasegawa and turned to the last kid in line.
"You." He pointed at a certain white haired kid. Everyone froze, straining their ears to hear what the coach have to say. Hitsugaya's footwork was wonderful. His speed unbeatable. His skills… Even the toughest bicycle kick which was even a hugh difficulty to many world cup players was just a mere ABC to him. If he aren't dead, he most probably the best football player in the world… So just what is the coach going to
"Need…" Everyone gaped. Even the ever cold boy taichou cocked up his eyesbrow. Need? Seriously what the hell does he still need?
The coach took a deep breath and continued, "…to drink more milk."