I watched him longer than he even realized, I saw him kicking rocks with his washed up sneakers half way down the street by Daisy's house. I saw him eyeing each little house with wonder, watching ever y car a bit longer than necessary as they cruised silently on by. It was like I was just imagining his tall, lanky figure walking along my street with confused eyes and messy hair. It was like he wandered from somewhere far away and somehow ended up here, in the middle of this suburban neighborhood without a clue of how it all even happened. I thought about approaching him and maybe asking if he was lost because he clearly was, though every now and then he would look behind him as if someone was following. He paused at the stop sign and bent down to tie his shoe, his hair turned auburn in the sun. Auburn or something like it, it seemed too unique to have a name. As he continued down my street, his features became clearer and clearer. I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed sitting on my porch; if I was quiet enough I could sneak inside and stop secretly stalking him. As he approached, it was like he heard me sigh and his head whipped up. I didn't look away too startled- he actually saw me watching, my mouth struggled for words but my body moved faster and I was out of my seat, walking down the cement steps and on the same sidewalk beside him. He was much different up close… much more indeed. His eyes, how could I not have even seen from so far away? The brilliant green that erupted from his soul and the pink that rested so elegantly on his cheeks against his fair skin. A perfect sculptured face that not even someone as beautiful as Rosalie Hale could process. Rosalie Hale was probably the worst neighbor ever but her beauty made up for it all I suppose. At least, that's what she thought. I wondered for a wild second what his beauty made up for… what he doesn't have that God decided to create him so handsome. I mentally slapped myself for my own idiotic thoughts. When had I become so boy crazy?
He stared at me, but not at me. He ran his fingers through his hair frustrated and I backed away instinctively.
"Are y-you lost?" I stuttered, fearing what he missed was sanity.
"No." He huffed, looking behind him again then glancing up at the sky.
"God damn it!" He pulled at his hair with both his hands and began pacing back and forth in front of me. I jumped at the sudden raise of his voice while my heart beat frantically in my chest. I took slow calm breaths as I involuntarily had vivid flashbacks of Cold Case episodes.
"Um are y-y-ou-?" I swallowed before I could finish my question and he pinched the bridge of his nose, ending his pacing.
"I'm sorry ma'am." He kept his eyes squeezed shut, taking in a deep sigh. He was having a mental break down on my porch. Wonderful.
"Do you need to use the phone or something….?" I looked for answers in his face but it stayed the distressed mess it was, and I got nowhere. For all I knew he could be serial killer luring me into his sick trap. My palms began to pool with sweat while I silently began to panic.
"Well sir, I can see I am of no help, so if you'll excuse me…" I quickly took the moment to dry my palms on my shirt and walk slowly to safety in my home. It was like everything was moving in slow motion, like I wasn't even able to move fast enough in that second- I wished so badly I had the speed of light at this moment.
"Wait" He called his voice dry like the desert but cool like the moon. I had not even moved a single foot yet and already he was luring me back. Maybe I was just freaking out, this man could be harmless but my more paranoid side said no one can be trusted. I could feel his eyes on me again, like he was watching what I would do, giving me a choice to run or stay I suppose. The more sane side of me overpowered my paranoia and I smiled up at him caught in another moment of awe when I was reminded of the beauty that shone from his eyes. It was like fire, but green burning in his orbs, so much passion in just a glance. I found myself breathless as if someone had just punched me in the stomach and soon felt the blush flooding my face, ruing my poker face.
"Yes." My voice shook with uncertainty, and I was very aware I looked frightened by him at this very moment. The way he stared at me, like he could see everything… I felt exposed, embarrassed though I shouldn't at all. Like he was the lion and I was the prey, and rather than eating me right away he teases me for my weakness. He plays with my feelings, because of his power. I feel defenseless, yet he hadn't even threatened me once.
"I'm sorry… I'm having a bad day." His lips were chapped and cracked in places, I ached for him to lick his lips and end my agony.
"Would you like some water, my mother is just inside and-" I was quickly cut off when he took once again another deep sigh that filled his chest. I swallowed louder than I intended to and he looked directly into my eyes again except this time I was quick to look away. Like looking away from the sun because you're afraid to go blind.
"Actually yes I'd like water." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Overall this is kind of a weird encounter… but can I sit down and just talk to you?"
"T-talk?" I mumbled out, feeling dizzy and uneasy. I should have said a lot of things, I should have ran inside quickly or called for my mom… but I didn't.
"Yes talk, I know… why would you want to sit and talk to me I look crazy… I get it. Just…" His voice raised and he was frustrated again, though his anger was clearly not aimed at me it was all at himself.
"I'll sit on the porch right here. I promise I'm not crazy." He began towards me and I froze feeling every nerve in my body, he walked around me to sit on the steps and I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. He put his head in his hands and his back began to shake. I watched him without fear now, I watched him with curiosity and curiosity only. He sat silently with his back shaking, his head stayed buried in his hands while the wind tousled his hair for him. I took in a cool breath of fresh air and sat myself next to him.
"Why are you crying?" I whispered, hoping he would appreciate my quietness about the situation; men often don't like people to know they're crying. I heard him sniff then I heard him sigh, and he raised his head wiping tears from his cheeks and chin.
"My mother died." He glanced at me, and then back at his hands, the pain in his eyes was unbearable. I could see in just that little glance years of heart ache, years of suffering and pain. Someone you wanted to put out of their misery, someone who took life as torture never learning from scars but collecting them. Tears began to swell in his eyes again; he quickly dried them away with his sleeve. At that very moment I felt foolish for finding him frightening, I felt horrible for almost ignoring him.
" I'm so sorry." I breathed and suddenly I was fighting back tears myself.
"She's gone." He whispered looking into the street and then back at me with those piercing green eyes.
"H-how'd she die?" My voice shook quietly with tears I tried fiercely to hold back.
"Heart attack." He returned his head to his hands letting out a heart wrenching sob, that not even the coldest man in the world could ignore. I let the tears come freely after that, no one could ever expect me to be that strong. I cried silently beside him hoping he didn't look up to see, I tried to wipe them away without notice but each time I did the tears would just come spilling again.
"I bet she was a very nice woman." I swallowed and my throat ached with silent sobs. I watched his back shake, and I noticed his shirt could be considered the same color as his eyes. Probably why I hadn't even noticed his shirt-his eyes were too overpowering. I quickly tried to remember conversation keys that involved soothing someone; I wanted nothing more than to make him feel just a little better. I felt so committed to the idea already, I racked my memory for situations of this sort that I could use now, but there weren't many. I was usually a very quiet person about my feelings, if I needed to cry I'd do it alone not wanting to get anyone involved. I dug deeper into the past to a time when things like circus animals and cotton candy were the reason for my existence, carnivals with big flashy signs; neon, Christmas and Halloween all in one. Loud children screaming at the top of their lungs, taking in big gusts of air on tall rides with fearful names, tasting sweets, tasting the cold damp night on your tongue. Feeling so happy, so alive with all the colors and lights, with all the rides and delights, till a young brunette girl skips along and a mean boy with freckles on his nose steals her stuffed Giraffe.
He snatched it right out of my hands and just walked away, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to take something I love without even caring. Without even looking back to see if I fell to my knees and cried, without even telling me why you're so cruel and so mean. Why did he do that to me? Fact is he didn't do it to me, he just did it to some little girl at the fair and really there's no reason why, he just wanted to. Although if he had looked back that warm July night he'd see that little girl on her knees crying. My mother was at my side but hadn't noticed the exchange till I was in hysterics on the carnival floor, trying to explain myself but there was no point when every second a sob would shake my entire body leaving me breathless.
"Let's get you another Giraffe or maybe even an Elephant!" My mother's chocolate brown eyes, reassured me like a warm fire burning in the winter. I felt the warmth in my toes and in my cheeks; I smiled a little smile and kissed her on the cheek.
I was brought back to the boy who was crying beside me, and tears stung at my eyes- I sniffed them away stubbornly.
"Yeah." He sniffed, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve uselessly, tears just multiplied. I smiled a sad smile raising my quivering hand slowly to rest on his back, just a simple reassuring gesture but not so simple when making physical contact with a stranger. I rest my palm on his back, I couldn't tell if he noticed or not, he began to cry much more. I began to rub my palm in circles on his back, I tried to control the shaking of my hand but I was much too nervous.
"You must think I'm crazy." He chuckled dryly quickly composing himself, wiping away tears quickly and sitting up straight. I let my hand fall from his back and down back into my lap.
"No, I don't." I whispered very unconvincingly.
"Yes you do." He smiled. "Your name?"
"What?" I blinked.
"I didn't get your name."
"Oh! Bella." I giggled a little, and blushed a lot.
"Edward." He offered his hand to shake.
"I'm very sorry about your mother Edward." I shook his hand, feeling its smoothness. Instead of responding he just nodded his head and looked down to the pavement. I felt it necessary to change the subject.
"Do you live around here?"
"Little ways down the street." He mumbled as he stared at the pavement, his eyes glossy. I bit at my lip nervously trying to figure out something to say, I was never good with conversation especially with strangers.
"You said you wanted some water before, I'll go in and get that for you." I stood from my seat beside him too quick for him to stop me. I rushed into the living room where I stood for a couple of minutes collecting my thoughts and catching my breath. What should I say when I go back out there? What should I do? Should I ask him to come in? Could he be a serial killer? Why do I overlook everything?
I ran my hands though my hair hoping to soothe myself, and just relax. This situation wasn't that serious… Right? As I made my way to the kitchen I noticed my mother asleep in the backyard on her chair, she looked exhausted even asleep. I thought about waking her up but felt to guilty about her not getting enough sleep. That woman was like a vampire, I could count on two hands how many times I've seen her in a deep sleep. Her job required her to be awake at wild hours of the night, that's the deal you sign up for when you decide to be a doctor and a single mother. She amazed me to say the very least.
As I prepared Edward's water in the kitchen, I tried to go over some conversation keys that didn't seem too childish. I didn't know for sure how old Edward was, but I was guessing much older than me, or so it seemed. I didn't want to come off as childish or immature if he actually is much older than me. I tried to calm myself and take slow steady breaths as I went back to Edward with his water. How old are you? Do you want to come in? Have I seen you before? Have you seen me before? Do you have siblings I might know? Are you visiting or do you actually live here?
Prepared myself for more nerves and uncertainty but when I got to the porch, there was no Edward. I looked down the street… No Edward. I looked the other way… No Edward.
"Hmph." I sighed taking a sip of his water. Did I miss the stranger? Had I wanted to talk to him?
Only I had seen Edward. Had anyone else?
A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! (: