Equinox: Renesmee's Story Preface
I never hated what I was. I had always felt different, not the same as everyone else. I was always told that is was a good thing to be different. Special.
But right now all I could feel was hate. Hate for what I was. For all the trouble I caused by even exciting. Hate for putting him in the face of danger.
If I could I would die right now to protect the one I loved.
Chapter 1
As I walked thorough the last of the bushes I found myself in the most beautiful place. A little crystal clear pond, with wild flowers growing all around the little clearing it was in. It was so peaceful and quiet. As started to walk forward I heard a noise to the south of this peaceful place and saw something more beautiful than anything else in my life.
Jacob came through the bushes and a breath-taking smile came to his face. Jacob was my best friend and the only person who knew me without really having to think about it. When ever he smiled it felt like he was glowing from the inside out. He was like a sun that always warmed my day.
He started to cross the grass, walk to me and grabbed me in a big hug. I laughed as he spun me in a circle. He sat me down and I looked up about to say hay, but stopped. My words must have got lost somewhere between my throat and lips. He was still smiling but not as big as before. Even though that was breath-taking its not what made me silent. It was his eyes that stopped me from speaking.
As I looked deep into his sun black eyes I was found. His eyes had held something for me that I had not always seen. Now I could. I could see so clearly that although his eyes were dark, his soul could have been as crystal clear as the beautiful pond. I loved Jacob, I always had, but this was different. It was like he was made for me. My perfect match.
"Nessie" Jacob whispered. His face was serious now as he looked into my eyes. I stared at him wondering what he wanted. Once I was finally able to form a sentence I opened my mouth to speak.. Jack stopped me by putting one warm finger to my lips. I could have stayed in this perfect place forever. In this one moment, in his arms I felt so safe and loved.
He slowly started to lean his head down removing, his finger from my lips and placing his hand on my neck.
"Nessie." A familiar yet out of place voice called me. My eyes snapped open and I internally groaned. It was just a dream, I told myself. I should have known. Life couldn't get that perfect.
I looked up to see my mother bouncing on my bed trying to get my attention.
"Renesmee? Sweetheart? Time to get up sleepy head." She said with a giggle, playfully ruffling my hair. I smiled and stretched sitting up on my bed.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked. "You seem to have been having a very pleasant dream. You were smiling so beautifully, I almost didn't want to wake you" I thought about what my dream had been about and said the truth cause I couldn't help it.
"It was great!" I exclaimed "Five more minutes mom!" I blurted. "Five more minutes would have been ………Perfect!" She smiled a beautiful smile and kissed my forehead. She got up and walked to the door.
"Carlisle wants to take your measurements. Get dressed."
"Mom" I called as she turned to leave. She stopped.
"Yes?"
"Where's daddy?"
"He's at the main house with the others. I just came to wake you." She explained. I really loved my mother a lot. She was my best friend other than Jacob. I took comfort that I could tell her anything and not have my father know. That when I talked to her, it was just my mother I talked to.
"Mommy" I called "I love you." She came across my room to me and in an instant kissed my cheek.
I love you too my precious Renesmee. More than my own life, sweetheart. Happy birthday."
She turned and left closing the door. I sat there thinking about my birthday. How I was 6 age wise and having a sweet sixteen. Sweet "six" is more like it, I thought to myself and laughed. As I dressed I thought about Jacob. He has always been my friend, and the best big brother anyone could have. Although he was all of that, I wanted him mores than that sometimes. Like in my dream I sometimes thought of him as mine. As my soul mate like mama and daddy were.
They had a love that sang from the mountaintops. My mom always said she always knew that he was her true love, even when her and Jake got closer.
When she told me about that I took it better than I was taking it now. When she told me a year and a half ago my feeling weren't as strong. For a second I was jealous of my mother she was beautiful and interesting. Jacob was right to love her, but I wished he could see me like that. As someone he could love and be with forever. That we could have a love that sang from the mountaintops too.
I would always use times like this-when I was alone and miles away from my father – to think about Jake. Of course I would slip and he wouldn't say anything, but he would stare at Jacob with a look I couldn't explain. I don't know it was like he was trying to respect him, but really wanted to hit him too. I thought it was wrong for him to do that. Its not like he had the same thoughts I did.
Jacob would always say that I was the greatest little sister in the world. He would say that he was happy mom and dad stayed together, when I asked him if he wished he could be with mom. He told me that without them it would be no me and that he couldn't see his life without me in it.
As I finished my hair I let a tear fall. Little sister was my highest commendation and it would never be more than that. It seemed like the older I got the stronger my love for Jacob grew.
I took a deep breath and looked at the outfit I had on. My favorite color is purple so I wore a silk lilac blouse Jacob said I looked beautiful in and white pants. I laughed at the thought of what aunt Alice would say about me wearing this shirt again. I also wondered if Jake would notice I wore it for him. Then I sighed. No, he wouldn't.
Chapter 2
I walked out my room and though the front door of our little cottage. I went at a human speed, just taking my time.
As I walked I wondered where Jack was. Usually he was always close to the cottages when I wake up. I thought since it was my birthday that he would be the one to wake me, he wasn't the most patient person I knew. Maybe he was at the house with everyone else. As I walked I pulled a little bracelet Jacob had given me when I was little out my pocket.
He had told me it was a symbol of a promise that whatever, wherever, and whenever I needed him he was going to be there for me. As I put it back into my pocket I wondered where he was now when I needed him. He would make my birthday truly happy. The need I felt for Jake got stronger and I found myself running as fast as I could so I could see my Jacob.
I made it too the river behind the house and jumped flipping in the air before I landed. I loved my strength. It wasn't as strong as a vampire but it was good enough for me.
I ran through the backyard and through the back glass doors into the living room. Grandpa Carlisle, Uncle Jasper, and daddy weren't there and to my surprise nether was Jake. The smile I walked in with fell a little.
"Good morning" I said cheerfully. Aunt Alice, my mother, and grandma Esme were sitting on the couch laughing. Uncle Emmett came to me from sitting on the stairs in a blur. "Hay birthday girl" He said picking me up and throwing me in the air. I laughed when he sat me down and aunt Rose gave me a tight hug.
"Happy birthday darling." Rose said "You've grown up so fast. I miss my little nessie, the one that let me play in her hair all day." Aunt Rose and uncle Emmett laughed.
"Happy birthday sweetling." Grandma esmee told me coming to kiss my cheek.
"Thank you." I replied going to stand in front of my mother. She got up and hugged me tightly.
"She's still my baby. Forever and always." She pulled away and kissed my forehead.
I had to admit she was right. I would always be my moms little angel and daddy's little girl.
"Nessie can I ask u a question? Oh and happy birthday." Aunt Alice said. I smiled widely at the way she looked at the shirt I had on. Her eyes narrowed and face a little glum.
"Yes?" I asked even though I knew.
"Why do you have that same shirt on for the hundredth time? I just put clothes in your closet after I went shopping yesterday. There was a really cute pink and yellow shirt I wanted to see you in." Her voice got more pledging than explaining as she went on.
"I like this shirt, and its just the forth time I've worn it. You're over exaggerating Aunt Alice." I replied laughing.
"Well it feels like the hundredth." She grumbled.
"She can wear whatever she wants, its her birthday." Aunt Rose said while sitting on uncle em's lap. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Aunt Rose was sweet. Well sweet most of the time, to me at least. I was probably number three on her list, between uncle Emmett and the whole family. Her self would always be number one.
"Your right, she can." Aunt Alice said then added, "For the day, but for the party tonight I've got that covered." She said smiling in anticipation.
"Can't I at least see it?" I begged. Aunt Alice went all out when it came to any event, especially my birthdays. We had parties every couple of months, because of my growth. She wanted to make an album that looked like more than 6 years. She had invited our friends and family, and got decorations and everything. She had even gotten my outfit. Which I wouldn't have minded, but she said I couldn't see till I was in it.
"Nope" she said with an extra pop of the p, " I know you will love it. I mean come on! Its me we're talking about here!"
"You can't know that. You don't see my future." I argued.
"Your right I cant see your future. If I could I would have seen you putting that shirt on again. Then I could have snuck in your room while you were sleeping and took it. Nessie have a little faith. I promise. Believe me you will love it." She said with a brilliant and triumphant smile.
I shot my mom a pleading glance, who was now sitting in an arm chair about to read a book. She just shook her head, "Sorry, honey. That's something I couldn't fight mortal or immortal." I sighed and remembered what had brought me here from my peaceful sleep.
"Mom? Where's grandpa, uncle jasper, and daddy. I thought you said dad was here." I asked. Before my mother could start her sentence Alice answered in a loving voice.
"Your father and jasper went to go get something for me, and Carlisle is up in his office waiting on you." As I looked into her clear eyes I got suspicious, but decided I really didn't care enough to ask. I started up the stairs only to stop on the third step and turn to my mom. "Mom, have you seen Jake?" I was starting to get irritated. It was my birthday and I hadn't seen him once yet. What was he doing that was so important?
"Umm…. No. Not since last night sweetie." She turned back to her book after giving me a quick smile. From my peripheral vision I saw uncle em roll his eyes. One thing I knew was that my mother was as bad a lier as I am, and that's bad. Unlike Aunt Alice, I knew my mom was keeping something from me. Instead of interrogation, I shrugged and said "Oh ok.". I would find out sooner or later, but I had to deal with this mess first. The same mess I did almost everyday. Sometimes I felt like an experiment, but I knew grandpa just wanted to know every thing he could about me. I was also a little flattered.
I stopped at grandpa carlisle's office door about to knock.
"Come on in Nessie." He said before I could raise my hand.
I walked into the huge room and went to sit on the stool where I sat when he took my measurements.
"So how's the sweet sixteen birthday so far, Ness?" He asked while he gathered a tape measure and the book where he keeps record of my growth.
"You mean sweet sixth birthday," I repeated from an earlier thought. He laughed and started to measure my head." Its going fine Grandpa nothing big so far. Mommy's keeping something from me though." I said matter of fact.
" Oh, really she is?" he said smiling. Downstairs I heard a deep sigh and a chuckle. As he continued to measure me I looked at him suspiciously. When he looked up he laughed at the look I was giving him.
"You know something." I accused narrowing my eyes at him. He let a soft chuckle go while saying, "I don't have any idea what you're talking about. Left foot please."
I sighed. I hated being out of the loop on things. I know they were trying to surprise me, but still I was out of the loop on my genetics already. Can't a girl get a break?
When Grandpa Carlisle was done I put my hand to his face and gave him the best puppy dog face I could get. Please.
I begged using my gift. He grabbed my hand and held it, while he shook his head. I pouted and grandpa laughed.
"Well" he said changing the subject, "Your growth is normal." When I gave him a look he added, "Well normal for you Nessie. Everything is slowing, but not much. If I'm correct, by about this time next year you should be fully grown."
I stared at him for a second, "Really?"
" Yes,I'm sure of it." I smiled at that fact. I would be grown in a year and then maybe Jacob would think of a woman, and not his sweet little sister.
I left really happy, but as I went down the steps and to the kitchen, I thought about how my birthday was going. Then I sighed.
In a couple of hours my Family and friends would be here and I didn't know what I was going to have on in front of them, Jake included.
My family was keeping secrets from me and trying to surprise me with god knows what.
The worst of all was the fact that my need for Jacob had not been quenched. There had been no sign of him all day. What happened to him?
What a happy birthday, I thought to myself.
Chapter 3
After I ate the eggs my mother made, I went to sit by the river. My mother was a little surprised I wanted human food, but didn't say anything. I didn't feel the need to tell her why I didn't want to be to far from the house right now. I sat by the riverside with my feet in the water. I was still upset Jacob hadn't showed up yet.
As I sat thinking about jack I stared to throw pebbles across the river at a tree. I was trying to hit the same spot each time. I stared to wonder if the reason my mother didn't want to say anything is, because Jacob had told her he had something better to do. Jacob was grown man. Maybe he got tired of spending all his time with a genetic freak of a little sister. It was turing more into curse word. Little sister.
I was going thought different scenarios of reasons why Jack would stand me up on my birthday, when grandma esmee's approach broke though my thoughts. "Hello sweetling." She greeted me and came to sit by my side. I lend over laying my head on her shoulder. "What's the matter? Shouldn't you be happy? It's your birthday after all."
"I am," but it was so pitiful that I told her why I was down; well part of why I was down. "I'm just…. I was just wondering why…"She looked at me then nodded for me to go on. "I was wondering where Jake was. He has never done this, not with out calling or something at least." I was starting to get a little angry with Jacob. Why did he have to pick today to not show up when I needed him. She laughed softly.
I pulled back a little shocked and hurt. Here I was spilling my guts and she's laughing.
"Nessie," she said softly pushing my head back on her shoulder, leaving her hand on my cheek. "Jacob would never miss such a grand occasion of yours."
"Yea. Like me turning six is so grand.", I said a little sad now. She sighed and turned to look at me with loving yet serious eyes.
"Renemee, those are human years sweetling, and you are more than just a mere human. Your special." She declared. " No one would ever want to miss such a special occasion with you. You're a beautiful young woman, Nessie. Jacob will be there." She then smiled at me, "Want to hunt?"
I nodded. The eggs really weren't that filling. We jumped aacross the river, and ran into the deep forest.
As we hunted I thought about my talk with Esme. She had me feeling better about every thing. Jacob was my friend, my best friend. He would be there for me in the end like always. I knew he wouldn't let me down.
We had finished hunting and were crossing the river behind the house when I stopped grandma. I placed my hand on here neck and let her feel my gratitude, Thank you. I love you so much.
She smiled and took my hand in hers. While we walked, I started to listen to the voices in the house. "Daddy's home." I heard my dad's voice along with others. Esme started to walk faster, "Comes Nessie. We have guests."
We got thought the back door and I smiled widely. "Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri ." I squealed, "You came!" I ran across the room and hugged Zafrina.
"Of course little one," she replied. "Although your not so little any more." I was so excited they made it. Alice said that she didn't know if they would, because they were not decided yet.
"She wanted to surprise you." My father said. He was standing behind my mother, with his arms around her waist, smiling at me.
"So that's why you and uncle Jasper were gone this morning." I said, putting all the pieces together.
" Yea, Alice said there flight was coming sooner then it was supposed to so we had to leave earlier. We knew they would want to stay in there longer then needed" Jasper said laughing. He was sitting next to Alice on the love seat.
"Thanks aunt Alice"
"Your welcome." She then stood. "Ok people, everyone knows what to do. Its to much to do, we have to get going."
"What am I supposed to do?" She had never told me I was supposed to do anything. That's when a thought crossed my mind.
If aunt Alice was keeping the amazons visit from me, then what was my mother keeping from me. My dad chuckled at my thought. So he knew to, of course. I narrowed my eyes at him. That's really unfair.
"You don't have to do anything, nessie. Its your birthday. Go and sit outside with Zafrina, and Senna. Kachiri has to help me." Aunt Alice said waving her hand at me to go out the door. I smiled back at her.
"Have you been on any adventure's?" I asked zafrina. I hadn't seen the Amazon forest in two years. I loved when Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri took me around the forest. They showed me caves and we looked at the beautiful treetops. Zafrina smiled.
" Of course" she said and then at that moment I was on top of a waterfall over looking at beautiful forest.
We went outside and she showed me more of her beautiful forest
After about an hour or two aunt Alice came out side, to the boulder we sat on by the river. Besides us everyone was doing something. I offered to help once more but it worked to a avail.
"Nessie, I just need you to start getting ready I have to much to do." She waved to zafrina and senna, while pulling me to the house.
We walked to the house at a fast pace; well I was kind of dragged by her. We got through the back doors and I stopped to see the living room. It had been changed so that all the furniture was pushed closer to the wall; back by the glass windows were two tables with white and purple tablecloth. On one of the tables sat a three-layered cake with lilac and white strips, my name was written on the middle layer, and there was a candle that read, "Sweet 16". There were crystal vases with lavender and white roses, spread all over the room. It smelled wonderful. "Oh my gosh Alice, it so amazing in here. I love it!" I said taking a deep breath. I really did smell absolutely exquisite.
"Only the best for my niece. We still have some…"she broke off mid-sentence, her eyes going blank. " Oh. I think wolf man will be here in a second. Everything just went blank." My heart started to race and my stomach felt like it was being squeezed. Jack! I couldn't believe how much better i felt now that I knew he was almost here. My Jacob was here!
Aunt Alice started to pull me again but I hesitated "Can't I say hay to Jake first?" I asked. There was no way I was doing anything before I see Jacob. " Its my birthday." I said with a smile when she tried to argue. There was a knock on the door and I ran to it before Alice could say no. I threw the door open, trying to make sure I didn't brake it. I took a deep breath of the wood and evergreen smell I loved and beamed wit joy. "Jacob!" I jumped into him, and hugged around his neck. He was so tall. And muscular and gorgeous and funny and kind…
He laughed a husky laugh and put his solid arms around me picking me up and spinning me in a circle. "Hay Nessie! Happy birthday, you look beautiful." He said sitting me back down. He hugged me so tight that i was a little breathless, then again i was always a little breathless when i was with Jacob. Jack had seen my shirt, maybe he did know it was for him. I had finally got the 'Happy birthday' I wanted.
"Thanks.I thought you might have forgot, or had had something better to do." Saying this to him now that he was here did feel stupid. I knew my Jacob would be here.
"More important than you?" he said with a mock horror expression. "I would never forget about my Nessie. You should have known better." he said while showing a row of white teeth. I smiled so big my face should have hurt. I really should have known better. Esme and Jack were right.