A/N: I started this story when I first started working as an RN, but when I came back to finish it this November I realized that I have taken care of so many patients with amputations that it is no longer something that feels different. I apologize if I get this story [about dealing with amputation] wrong – I only know what my patients tell me about how they feel and what I can observe – and I wish I could show them that it can get better.
I don't own HTTYD. Posted 11/23/2018.
The human was hurting. Sure, he'd woken up grateful, grateful to be alive and to have saved Berk. Everyone was now calling him a hero, which surprised Hiccup because he was just doing what he felt anybody ought to have done when a giant dragon was enslaving its own kind and trying to destroy your village.
But the words Hiccup's father had said earlier, that Hiccup wasn't a Viking, that he was useless, and that he wasn't good enough to be his son were still there, buried like the blood Toothless could smell seeping from the stump site into the fluffy wool and bandages Gobber had put on just before Hiccup woke up.
The humans had, of course, celebrated by feasting, which Toothless was glad included appetizing fish and brine-soaked lamb for the dragons, but he seemed to be the only one who noticed Hiccup's uncomfortable shifting in his seat, the subtle involuntary tensing of his left leg, the severed nerves responding to the pain. He'd gotten to the feast alright, taking a ride on Toothless. Everyone was happy, grinning, and playing with the new dragons. Hiccup was smiling too, and the other Viking teens were fist-bumping and elbowing him, talking about how "cool" it was that he'd lost a limb – and Tuffnut was asking what it felt like to be on fire.
Hiccup gave some sort of answer that Toothless was quite certain was untrue. It wasn't okay on Berk to talk about pain as anything other than the coolest thing ever. Toothless saw him clenching his hands under the table, his vacant stare, the sweat on his brow out-glistening Hiccup's eyes, and how he said he wasn't even hungry for the honeyed-rolls.
"He's not hungry," Snotlout said. "Because he's thinking of that big speech he's going to give."
"Speech?" Hiccup asked dazedly, Toothless could tell the thought hadn't even occurred to him.
"Come on, Hiccup!" Astrid said, "You're the pride of Berk now! Everyone will listen to you!"
"Speech! Speech!" Tuffnut and Ruffnut chorused, then the whole Viking crowd joined in, cheering him on.
Toothless snorted, couldn't they see the boy didn't feel good? Or could they at least have given him time to come up with a speech? But they didn't do this; instead Astrid and Snoutlout's families lifted him off the bench and carried him up to the head table in the Great Hall, where the Chief and elders sat as their dragons curled behind them, warming themselves by the fire.
"Uh… Hello Vikings!" Hiccup began too quietly. "HELLO VIKINGS!" He said louder and everyone cheered then silenced themselves.
"Uh, we are grateful today for the feast and that we are safe," Hiccup said. "We're free and our dragons are free. We have the chance to work together to protect ourselves: dragons and Vikings together. Until the end of time."
He paused to see Astrid smiling at him. He swallowed and started again. "And what we've lost-"
"-Was worth it!" Tuffnut and Ruffnut chimed in together.
Hiccup didn't look quite like he felt the same as the twins and before he could put his remaining foot in his mouth, Toothless bounded up to the great table and let Hiccup slide onto the saddle on his back. Toothless heard a grunt of pain and roared to keep the others at the table from hearing it. Then he charged out the door, wind rushing through wings, scales, and hair. He ran to the edge of the cliff and leaped, wings spreading to take in the air. They were flying.
Hiccup glanced over his shoulder to see the fires of Berk fading in the background. Hiccup didn't think of the pain, the wind seemed to whisk it away as they zoomed higher and higher into the dark sky.
"Thanks bud!" Hiccup shouted over the sound of beating wings, and Toothless whooped and sent a fireball towards the moon.
They had flown pretty high in the air and Toothless slowed down, gliding in wide loops. Hiccup felt the throbbing in his stump again, but he'd been catapulted into another world. A world where dreams were as high as the sky and he could do anything.
Hiccup wasn't crippled. He would walk again.
And as long as he knew that, maybe he could make it through the pain.
龍
It was that night that was worst. Hiccup had gotten back to his bed and was uselessly trying to sleep. He had slept a long time after Stoick had found him unconscious and protected by the Night Fury's wing. Now, he wasn't even tired, and his leg cramped and refused to be comfortable. He felt dazed and shivered in the cold night air. He crawled out of bed and over to Toothless—who was sleeping on the floor as no one had installed a perch for him yet—and slipped under the warm protective wing of the Night Fury.
The warmth soaked into his stump and eased the cramp, and after an hour of listening to the steady deep snores of the dragon, he fell into a fitful sleep.
He dreamed that he was running, running through the forest on both his legs, but a fire was burning. The smoke made him cough and he ran and ran and ran. But the fire was too fast. The smoke wandered in his eyes and he tripped over a log. He fell forwards and the fire crackled. It frizzled the fur on his boot and his foot felt like it was burning as he desperately tried to crawl away. Then he woke up.
"Hiccup!" Stoick said. "Speak to me, son!"
Hiccup opened his eyes and saw he was looking directly into the green ones of his father, who was holding him on his lap in his big arms. His dad hadn't held him like this in a long time.
"What's wrong?" Hiccup asked, because clearly something was wrong if his dad was clinging to him like this.
"You were yelling," Stoick said.
"Well, yeah, dad, but you see I was having a bad dream," Hiccup said.
"I don't want to lose you," his dad said.
"You won't lose me," Hiccup said. "I happen to be very knowledgeable about geography and promise never to get lost." He joked, trying to get his dad to laugh. Frankly, it was just weird that his dad was acting so emotional today.
"I didn't mean like that," Stoick said, putting Hiccup on the side of his bed. They could barely see each other as the dawn's early light peeked through the cracks in the walls. "When I saw you and the Night Fury chasing the Alpha out of the sky, I thought I lost you. I saw you fall into the flames. As soon as the fire had cleared, I ran into the smoke. Your dragon had saved you, protected you from the flames."
Hid dad pulled off his horned helmet. "I was wrong about dragons and about you. You are a dragon trainer. The first one that Berk has ever seen."
龍
It came time to change the wound dressing. Tuffnut and Snotlout had been begging to see the wound, but Gobber kept them out.
"Just… just… tell me if it's going to hurt," Hiccup said.
"Oh, it'll hurt some," Gobber said. "They always do, but you're a Viking! It will be alright."
He got some warm water and began putting it on the dressing so that the cloth would come off easily, then he washed the wound.
It looked weird.
They'd stitched his skin so that it covered the entire stump and there was a scabbed ridge where the stitches bound the skin together.
Hiccup looked away, trying to think about something else.
Ah, the pain, he could think about the pain.
He took that back and looked up at the rafters. Big green eyes stared down at him. It was Toothless, perched in the rafters, tail hanging down. Toothless flicked his tail so that the homemade tail-fin fanned out. Hiccup remembered that he was not alone.
龍
The sparks scattered off the anvil. Hiccup and Toothless watched as Gobber hammered a peg-leg into existence. It had been a couple of months and the village healer—and the amputee club—had declared that Hiccup had healed enough to try out a new leg.
"Who knows?" Gobber had said. "You might even like it better."
Hiccup had rolled his eyes.
After careful measuring and re-hammering, Gobber nailed the leg to a wooden base and wrapped cloth strips up from the base well up his leg to get the new leg to stay in place. The wooden base was hollow to keep it from putting all the pressure directly on the stump, but they'd put plenty of wool padding in just to make it more comfortable.
"It looks perfect," Gobber said, stepping back as he rubbed his chin with his hook hand.
"I wish I could say it feels that way," Hiccup sighed.
"Hey, at least it's below the knee instead of above the knee," Gobber said. "You'll be able to walk much easier."
"Thanks, I guess," Hiccup said, pushing himself up onto his right leg. Slowly, he put the other leg down on the floor. It was perfectly measured and was the right height. Toothless came over and sniffed at it. He gave a gummy grin at Hiccup. Hiccup smiled and tried to take a step forward; he slipped and grabbed at Toothless. Right then, this leg didn't have a foot. He'd have to walk differently. He took a breath and stepped again. The leg was simply tricky. It was like walking on your heel.
Hiccup walked around the workshop, finally finding a gait that worked a little better, but his leg muscles started to cramp (he hadn't used them in a couple of months after all) and climbed up onto Toothless' back.
They went out the door and went to the dragon training grounds. It would take time, but Hiccup wasn't alone, and as long as he and Toothless were together, they had freedom.
The End.
