Disclainer:The Wonderful Winchester belong to the amazing Eric Kripke and the CW.
A/N: I originally posted this on another site for a challenge called Aftermath. The challenge was to write a oneshot set some time during the days immediately following the fire. I thought I'd share it here.
John was sitting in a chair that was sandwiched between Dean's bed and Sammy's crib. He didn't want to let them out of his sight, not even in sleep. They were all he had left of Mary.
It had only been three days since that terrible night when Mary was ripped away from him, three days of pure hell. He walked around in a daze hoping that this was just a horrible nightmare and he would wake up in bed next to Mary, saying something about never eating sausage and peppers before bed again. That didn't happen. She was gone and wasn't coming back.
Her funeral had been that afternoon. An empty coffin was buried, paid for by Mary's favorite uncle, Fred. Friends and family stood up and spoke about what a wonderful woman Mary was, a loving mother ripped away from her family too soon by a tragic accident. John wanted to stand up and scream. He wanted to shout that they were wrong, that it wasn't an accident that stole Mary from them. Something evil had taken Mary from him. John didn't know what it was yet, but he vowed that he would track it down and make it pay. Instead of shouting, he just sat there with Sam in his arms and Dean by his side.
John was lost in his thoughts when he heard Dean whimpering in his sleep. He leaned over and rubbed his back until he relaxed. It hadn't escaped John's attention that Dean had hardly spoken a word since that night. John had waited for the inevitable question of when Mommy was coming back, but it hadn't come yet. Dean just stuck by his father's side, silent.
What was he going to do with out her? She was the one who took care of everything. Dean skinned his knee. A kiss from Mommy made it all better. Sam had colic, Mary knew what to do. John remembered the first time he was left alone with both boys. Mary was at the salon getting her hair cut. Sam started crying the moment she was gone and John couldn't get him to stop. Dean was whining because he wanted to go outside and play catch. Those were the longest two hours of his life. When she walked through the door, John had felt relief wash over him. How was he going to do this without her?
How was he supposed to go on without her? He didn't want to go on with out her. Just then John got a reminder of why he had to go on. Sam woke up crying. He had a wet diaper that needed changing. John scooped the baby into his arms and carried him over to the changing table. Dean woke up and was about to get out of bed, but John told him everything was okay and to lay back down.
John quickly changed Sam's diaper and sat back down in the chair holding him close. He gently rocked his baby boy back to sleep. While still holding Sam in his arms, he looked over at Dean who was already back asleep. He sat there, baby in his arms, watching his older son sleep. John knew then why he would go on. He would go on for his and Mary's children, for Sam and Dean.
The End
Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think. Reviews are always greatly appreciated.