The baby had been both a blessing and a curse for them. The pregnancy was completely accidental, they'd used protection, she thought the pill worked, and they assumed that they were safe to do as they pleased. But then seven months later – two months too early and in the midst of battle, Hope was born. She was weak from the start, struggling for oxygen and heart beats and life. But she clung on to what little the fates had given her and she thrived.
For three months and seven days.
It was raining the day that the little box was lowered into a grave, just two plots away from Graham – the last real funeral Emma had attended. She'd never really been to funerals during her lifetime, she'd never got attached to people long enough to need to go to funerals. And she never wanted to go to one again.
She was sick for days – the sort of sick that had no cure. Heart ache had no cure.
Henry spent nearly a month in New York with Neal and Tamara, while Emma fought through the depression that the loss had thrown her into. And Killian was absolutely no help in the matter. He acted like he had some right to bemore upset than she did, like he was more affected by the death of their baby than she was.
"I lost the baby too Killian." Emma muttered, casting him a sideways glance as she sat in the doorway of the nursery, her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach. "I need to grieve too!"
Killian closed his eyes, hitting his head back against the wall. He knew she deserved to grieve too – she'd carried the baby for seven months, held it to her bosom for three months and let it suckle as little babes do, no matter how weak they are. "She was the brightest spot in my three hundred years." He whispered, turning his head to find her eyes, tears brimming in his cloudy blue eyes.
"I know Killian." Emma choked, feeling her chest clench at the look on his face.
Killian shook his head, chewing on his bottom lip before he finally found his voice, "I think she was our last chance at our own family." His lip trembled and he bit down on it harder, "I've been in and out of too many worlds in my life time – I wasn't supposed to be able to have children."
Emma stared at him in confusion, "Then… how?"
His face crumpled and he buried his head in his hands, flinching as he listened to the carpet crush beneath her palms and knees as she moved across the floor to sit beside him. "I made a deal… With him." He still couldn't look at her.
"Killian…" She rested her hand on his shoulder, "You didn't…"
"I didn't think… that the price for having a child would be to lose her too." He turned abruptly, his arms finding their way around her, burying his face in her hair.