This takes place in the Marauder's Era (obviously), and it is in the Great Hall during a meal. In the middle of the meal, the Marauders-Sirius, Remus, James and Peter-decide to jump on top of the table. This is what follows…
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"HELLO HOGWARTS, AND FELLOW HOGWARTIANS ALIKE! MY NAME IS SIRIUS BLACK! NOW LET'S PLAY A GAME! Ah, Minnie, you will notice you can't yell back. It's because if a tricky little charm James and I did. But Remus helped. James?"
"Right. Okay, so, today, we will be playing-"
"MR. BLACK AND MR. POTTER! GET OFF THE TABLE RIGHT NOW!"
"Ouch, Minnie! Looks like you can make your voice louder without magic…anyway-"
"MR. BLACK-…?"
"Sorry, Professor, but I had to cast the charm. You were getting a bit loud, you see-"
"Padfoot?"
"Yes, James?"
"Carry on with the point-it seems Moony's getting a little antsy."
"Right. So, now we shall play a special game. What game may you ask? Well-"
"Sirius, get to the point."
"Right, Remus. The game is called-…The Name Game."
"What the heck is that, Black?"
"Ah, glad you asked, Evans! The name game consists of everyone, everyone in the world. Really, all you do is take the first name of a lady, and add it to the last name-perhaps like a gentleman like me. For example-Marlene Black. Sounds quit fetching, right? What about, Lily Potter? And-"
"Sirius Orion Black."
"Yes, Evans?"
"By Merlin's beard, shut. Up."
"Sorry, Evans. Okay, since most of the Great Hall seems infuriated by me, I can't go on. Care to continue, Prongsie?"
"Alright Orion."
"Oi! What's with everyone calling me Orion when they're annoyed! It's bloody annoying, I say-"
"Sirius, shut up. Okay, so, another example, for instance-what about, Alice Longbottom? Yes, Alice, you. Yes, you too, Frank. Everyone can see how in love you are with each other. Why, just last night Frank told me-…right. Sorry, Frank. Okay, since quite a few people are pointing glares at me…Remus?"
"I don't even know why I'm here."
"You're a Marauder, Moony. Not get up here!"
"…Fine. Okay, then, I'll just tick of a few from our list..Er…oh? Sirius, what is this?"
"It's a name, Moony!"
"Fine. Then you say it."
"Alright. Ahem! It's just a name, look, right here. See-Severus Mulciber-Ouch, Snape! That curse came close to hitting me…you should really be more careful where you point that thing, you know. Moony?"
"Hm. Mary Goldstein."
"Yes, yes! What an interesting couple! I'm sure it could work. …Or not. Alright, alright what about-"
"Hey, Padfoot!"
"Yes, Prongs?"
"I have a couple for you."
"What?"
"What about…Sirius Snape? Quite the pair, huh? And it's still an alliteration…"
"James, you are sick."
"Not as sick as you. Have you seen the pictures in your trunk?"
"…That's enough, James."
"Whatever."
"The next one will-Peter? Where did Peter go? Ah! Here's the old chap. Here Peter, it's your turn."
"Y-yes, Sirius. H-how about, Alice Longbottom?"
"…"
"Peter?"
"Yes, Sirius?"
"James already said that."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Right. Anyway…James?"
"Okay, so. Oi, Marlene! Disgusted by your previous pairing, 'Marlene Black'? Well of course you were, that's the normal reaction-"
"Oi!"
"It's true, Sirius. Just ask all those girls you've snogged. Hey! Sirius! Watch out with that curse, alright? Okay, Marlene. How about we try a new name for you? Instead of Marlene and what's-his-face, how about, Marlene Patil?"
"…James."
"Yes, Moony?"
"He's dating."
"I know. Makes the couple all the more interesting, doesn't it? Now what about-"
"JAMES POTTER! YOU, MR. BLACK, MR. LUPIN, AND MR. PETTIGREW! MEET ME IN MY OFFICE! NOW!"
"…Dang. How was the charm lifted?"
"You do realize, of course, that a highly powerful wizard is sitting right next to her?"
"…Right. I knew that."
And so brings another one-shot to a close. Review!
~D