Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars and Yu-Gi-Oh GX.
Doctor vs Vampire
Doctor Jessica DeWinter is ready to duel the vampire bitch known as Caamaela.
"Give up, Jessica. Step to the side and I'll duel Miss Hastings instead." says Caamaela.
"No because as tempting as your offer is I must decline. I am Doctor Jessica DeWinter, one of the top professors of the most glorious Duel Monsters school on the planet and I will not allow you to even break a hair on the heads of my students. If you wish to get to them you'll have to take down yours truly." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Alright. I set a monster dace down to defend and I also play two other cards face down, just in case." says Caamaela.
"That's all you can do?" says Doctor DeWinter. "Whatever turns your disgusting old pussy on, I guess. My move is this. I summon Incan Mech Warrior in attack mode and equip him with Incan Mech Supply to bring his power up to an attack-score of 2200."
"Interesting. I tribute my defending creature to replace it with an even stronger one." says Caamaela.
"Okay. I put a card face down and now...Incan Mech Warrior, attack!" says Doctor DeWinter.
"Loser. I activate a trap, Anti-Tech Laser Fuck. This mighty card stop the attacks of any Machine-monster for one turn." says Caamaela.
"Damn!" says Doctor DeWinter.
"I put out another face down and end my turn." says Caamaela.
"Well, my turn. I summon Incan Mech Valkyrie in attack mode and her effect allows her to have me take a look at any set monster without being worried about any potential flip-effect. Let's see what you hide." says Doctor DeWinter.
Caamaela's defense monster is revealed to be Gaveyard Guardian.
"Good choice. That thing is strong enough to protect you from my awesome valkyrie." says Doctor DeWinter. "Not for long though. I play Incan Mech Anger to makes her attack a total of 2700. Incan Mech Valkyrie, swing your sword and destroy the Graveyard Guardian!"
Incan Mech Valkyrie destroys Graveyard Guardian.
"I summon Vampire Lady in defense mode and then I send her to the Graveyard in order to summon...Vampire Lord and then I remove him from play to call forward the grand Vampire Genesis!" says Caamaela.
"Okay..." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Vampire Genesis, spread your dark aura over the field and destroy that mech-slut. Shadows from Beyond the Dark!" says Caamaela.
Vampire Genesis attacks, but the attack is blocked.
"Did you forget my face down? It is the trap card Brightness of the Holy Jar. It stops the attack of one Dark-monster if I send a card on my hand straight to the Graveyard so it's bye bye Umeeko Bottle." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Nice move, doctor!" says Hanna.
"Well, thanks, slacker." says Doctor DeWinter. "Now it's my turn and I tribute my Incan Mech Valkyrie to summon Incan Mech WarLord, a monster with 2900 in attack."
"How can you summon such a powerful monster with only a single fucking tribute?" says Caamaela in anger.
"Quite simple, you undead bimbo. When you summon an Incan Mech monster, the tribute of Incan Mech Valkyrie counts as two instead of one." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Vampire Genesis is still stronger by 100 points." says Caamaela.
"Actually that's not exactly correct. By sending two level 4 or higher Incan Mech monsters from my deck to the Graveyard my Incan Mech WarLord get's an increase in attack by the total of the two monsters I give up, making him have a fucking 3700 attack-points. Incan Mech WarLord, destroy the Vampire Genesis. Giant Sword Slash!" says Doctor DeWinter.
Incan Mech WarLord destroys Vampire Genesis.
"I summon Vampire Lady in defense mode." says Caamaela.
"My mighty warlord, destroy the Vampire Lady!" says Doctor DeWinter.
Incan Mech WarLord destroys Vampire Lady.
"If a dark defense monster on my side is destroyed, my trap activates. Metal Breakdown Virus! This card destroys your warlord." says Caamaela.
"Not a problem. I summon Incan Mech Golem." says Doctor DeWinter.
"That's Doc's best monster, but where's the tributes? I mean that golem kinda needs 'em..." says Paige.
"I don't need monsters to tribute. Just take a look in my Graveyard pile. Here goes the magnificent spell card Incan Mech Factory. Thanks to this card all the Incan Mech monsters that are in my Graveyard becomes the payment for the summon, even though they're already destroyed, as long as their combined total levels are the same or more as my golem's...and look, they are. So say hello to, Incan Mech Golem!" says Doctor DeWinter.
"Awesome! Now the doctor's got this one in a bag and I know 'cause I've dueled her. She can throw down some sexy cards, she can get her game on and she can win this duel." says Hanna.
"Fucking shit. As much as it hurts me to admit it, Miss Marin's absolutely right. I can throw out a bunch of sexy cards, I can get my damn game on and I can win, so prepare yourself, Caamaela. I'll show you why I'm a teacher. Oh, damn...why do feel like I need to clean my own mouth?" says Doctor DeWinter.
"Chill, doctor. My style ain't too much of a crap." says Hanna.
"No, but with Caamaela's rare cards, things aren't looking very bright for Doctor DeWinter." says Spencer.
"Let's see what Alison's mom can do." says Mona.
"Incan Mech Golem, attack Caamaela directly!" says Doctor DeWinter.
"You fucking damn bitch!" says Caamaela in anger. "My turn. I play the spel card Artorian Curse and it brings out a high level monster from my deck and I choose Vampire Bitch. Her ability allows me to destroy your golem simply by sending just a single little cutie spell card from my hand straight down into the Graveyard. And now...Vampire Bitch, direct attack!"
"I'll defeat you, Caamaela." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Doctor, you can barely stand up." says Mona.
"You should not worry about me, Miss Vanderwaal. I still have a deck in my hand a few sweet old tricks up my sleeve. Such as this for example. I play the spell card Incan Mech Trumpet. The call of this big horn summons out the powerful Incan Mech Dragon. It has more than enough attack-score to destroy your monster. Ancient Flames!" says Doctor DeWinter.
Incan Mech Dragon destroys Vampire Bitch.
"Jessica, you're not that crappy." says Caamaela.
"Excuse me, but that's 'doctor' to you!" says Doctor DeWinter in anger.
"I'll engrave it on your grave stone once you're dead." says Caamaela.
"Students, listen If I go down here, remember this. I may have been hard on you all at times, but that is because I truly believe in you so I know that if I lose this duel someone will still defeat this evil vampire slut." says Doctor DeWinter.
"Please...don't say such things." says Spencer.
"Given you final lesson, have you, DeWinter? I play the spell card Shadow Utopia! This mighty card let me summon a second Vampire Genesis. Attack and destroy that dragon and take out the doctor's life points." says Caamaela.
Vampire Genesis destroys Incan Mech Dragon as well as Doctor DeWinter's last life points.
"Hanna Marin...defend my honor, girl...ahhh, crap! No!" says Doctor DeWinter as she fall down, half-dead.
"Students, your beloved teacher's defeated. Give up now and I'll kill you quick and easy." says Caamaela.
"No way! You'll not get what you want." says Hanna in anger.
"I'm too powerful for you, kids." says Caamaela.
"That's wrong. I'm no slacker." says Hanna, still angry.
"Alright, little blonde slut. Next time I'll duel you." says Caamaela.
"You better prepare 'cause my deck won't be easy to beat, bitch." says Hanna.
"We'll see about that. Bye." says Caamaela.
Caamaela disappear in a flash of green fire.
"Ha! Run you coward. Me will take you down." says Hanna. "It will be a sexy duel."
4 days later.
"Okay...deck's all ready." says Hanna, who has spent a few hours on going through her deck and made some changes to it so she's ready for the duel against Caamaela.
"Hanna, are you okay?" says Mona.
"Sure. I'm fine." says Hanna.
The sun is going down.
"Alright. Darkness is coming." says Hanna. "And along with it so does probably Caamaela."
Red evil light glow from down by the eastern shore.
"Yeah, she's here again." says Hanna.
20 minutes later, Hanna, Mona, Paige and Spencer walk down to the eastern shore where Caamaela is waiting.
"Welcome, bitches. So, which one of you shall duel me?" says Caamaela.
"Me!" says Hanna.
Hanna put her deck into her duel disk.
"As you wish, little blonde slacker." says Caamaela.
"I'm no fucking slacker. Let's duel." says Hanna.
"Okay. I summon Vampire Priest in defense mode." says Caamaela.
"That's all you can do? Fine by me. I summon Elemental Hero Blowjob in attack mode and I also throw down a couple cutie face downs, yeah. Cool huh?" says Hanna.
"Not bad. It is only the opening turn and already Hanna has half the requirement to summon her favorite monster." says Spencer in a mature calm tone.
"Elemental Hero Blowjob, destroy that priest. Cumshot Attack!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Blowjob destroys Vampire Priest.
"I summon Zombie Bat in defense mode." says Caamaela.
"That's so not sexy. I summon Elemental Hero Pussycracker. And then I play Polymerization to fuse Pussycracker and Blowjob together, creating the very erotic master of my deck, the so powerful Elemental Hero Milf Queen." says Hanna. "Sexy huh?"
"I don't think so." says Caamaela in anger.
"Milf Queen, attack and destroy. Sexy Magic Power!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Milf Queen destroys Zombie Bat.
"And thanks to her special ability, my Milf Queen can attack twice so kiss some life points bye bye. Milf Queen, attack Caamaela directly." says Hanna. "Sexy huh?"
"You shall die, little kid." says Caamaela in anger.
"No, thanks." says Hanna.
"I summon another Zombie Bat and I also put out a face down card." says Caamaela.
"My turn. I draw...yes. The spell card Removing the Secret. It allows me to remove one Spell or Trap from play and I pick your face down one." says Hanna.
The card that Caamaela had face down is revealed to be Mirror Force.
"Okay. My sexy Milf Queen, destroy Zombie Bat." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Milf Queen destroys Zombie Bat.
"I summon WarWolf in attack mode and I also play a card face down." says Caamaela.
"Not sexy. I draw...c'mon...Heart of the Cards, smile upon me..." says Hanna. "Oh, yes! The spell card Mighty Milf Aura. I equip it onto my sexy queen and it gives her 500 extra attack points. Attack!"
"Stop. I activate Anti-Sexuality. This trap stop the attack of any sexual monster if I send a card from my hand back to the bottom of my deck." says Caamaela.
"Not sexy at all." says Hanna.
"Okay. My turn. I tribute WarWolf to summon Vampire Lord." says Caamaela. "I also put down a card face down."
"Milf Queen, attack Vampire Lord." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Milf Queen destroys Vampire Lord.
"Sexy huh?" says Hanna.
"My draw. Alright...the spell card Dark Nobility. It allows me to summon a high level monster and I'm going with...Vampire Genesis!" says Caamaela.
"You forget that my Milf Queen has more attack points. Milf Queen, attack with Milf Master Blaster!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Milf Queen destroys Vampire Genesis.
"I play Monster Reborn and brings back Vampire Genesis." says Caamaela.
"No way! Me activate Big Grave Lock. It locks down the Graveyard, preventing any card-effect related to the Graveyard so no fucking old perverted Vampire Genesis for you." says Hanna.
"Damn it. I play a card face down." says Caamaela.
"Okay. Milf Queen, direct attack on Caamaela." says Hanna.
"I activate Negate Attack." says Caamaela.
"And I activate Anti Trap to destroy you trap. Mile Queen, attack." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Milf Queen attacks Caamaela directly.
"You're almost down. Sexy huh?" says Hanna with a sexy smile.
Hanna is almost horny.
"I set a defense monster and I play a card face down." says Caamaela.
"I summon Elemental Hero Big Tits and if she is summoned while Milf Queen is on my side in attack mode she get a 400 boost to her attack points." says Hanna. "Milf Queen destroy that face down monster."
Elemental Hero Milf Queen destroys Caamaela's set defense monster.
"And now it's Big Tits' turn. Attack!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Big Tits attacks Caamaela directly.
Hanna win the duel.
"And that's game! So sexy!" says Hanna.
"Damn it, ya little piece of crap! How the fucking shit could you defeat me?" says Caamaela in anger.
"Easy 'cause I'm sexy and you're sooo ugly." says Hanna with a smile.
"Fuck you!" scream Caamaela as she disappear in a flash of green fire.
"And it's big score for little Hanna-Boo! Oh, yeah!" says a happy Hanna.
The next day.
"Since you defeated Caamaela when one of our best teachers could not, I think you should have this." says Spencer as she give Hanna a Duel Monsters booster pack.
It's not any simple regular booster pack though. It's a special pack with 5 rare cards.
Hanna opens the pack and the cards she get are: The monster card Edo Dragon of Heaven, the spell card Dark Polymerization, the spell card Yellow Chaos Shield, the trap card Anti-Prison Power and the monster card Elemental Hero Masturbation.
"Oh, rare cards. Sexy." says a happy Hanna.
"You deserve them, girl." says Spencer.
"Thanks." says Hanna with a very cute smile.
"Use the cards well." says Spencer.
2 hours later.
Hanna show Mona the new cards.
"Han, will you add those cards to your deck?" says Mona.
"Yeah, all except the dragon. he doesn't fit in with my other monsters." says Hanna. "Not sexy enough. If ya want to, you can have him."
"Thanks." says Mona.
Hanna give Mona the Edo Dragon of Heaven card.
"I'll take care of him." says Mona.
"Chill, girl. He's yours." says Hanna.
"Awesome." says Mona with a cutie smile.
"So sexy." says Hanna.
Hanna and Mona hug each other.
"Hanna-Boo, you're my best friend." says Mona.
"Awww! Thanks, Mona. You're my number 1 buddy too." says a happy Hanna with a cute smile.
Mona has a cute smile on her face too.
"Yay." says Mona.
"Yeah." says Hanna.
2 days later.
"Mona, do ya want a cookie?" says Hanna.
"Yeah." says Mona.
Hanna open her cookie jar, grab two strawberry cookies and gives one to Mona and takes the other herself.
"Thanks. Where did you get these?" says Mona.
"Mommy sent them to me." says Hanna.
"Okay. That's cute." says Mona.
"Yeah, so sweet." says Hanna.
69 minutes later, Hanna and Mona goes to the Academy's card-store and buy one booster pack each.
Hanna gets no rare card, but Mona gets the spell card Sneaky Polymerization, a card that can use an opponent's monsters to fuse.
"Cool card." says Hanna. "My cousin has it. With the right strategy it can almost beat any deck."
"Nice. I'll add it to my deck." says Mona, even though she doesn't use many fusions in her deck.
"Sexy. It's a very good card. With it you can use monsters on another player's field to make a fusion and that's so sexy." says Hanna.
"Okay." says Mona.
The End.