Disclaimer: I own nothing really, just borrowing the characters for a little joyride, or something.
Pairing: Quinn/Rachel, mention Brittany/Santana, Puck/other
Spoilers: Anything up to that has already aired. Future AU-ish fic.
Rachel is having complications with her pregnancy, and Quinn and her extended family are worried and dealing with it in this part, the Prologue. This is what was rattling around in my head before my other fic I Am Game. But after the finale aired, I had to make some adjustments, and so then I left it alone for a bit. And really in my head, this is/was always a companion piece originally to I Am Game, and it was going to be a prologue..to a flashback? So…now I think I'm doing it simultaneously. In my head the two are related. I was just having too much fun with the other one to insert this in to it, as it is a little more weighty? I took the title from a Peter Gabriel song, The Book of Love.
Please let me know what you think. I really do appreciate any reviews or comments or suggestions. Thanks!
"When will she wake up Quinn?" The sandy haired nine-year-old hazel eyes showed she was tired and worried. Quinn didn't blame her. She was a very self-aware little thing, but it was clear to her Quinn's sharp eyes that her edges were frayed. Not as much as hers were at this point though.
"Sweetie, she needs to rest right now. The doctors will tell us when she wakes up."
"Why can't we see her now? Won't she want us to be there when she wakes up?"
"Sweetie, she will be awake soon, I promise. The doctors just needed to make sure she was resting properly."
She said it with a sense of conviction that she was struggling to feel. She hoped it wasn't a lie.
Even though the doctors had reassured her as best they could, she was just as mired in uncertainty as her daughter. Her daughter. It still made her feel odd to call her that. She *was* her daughter, but Quinn wasn't really her mother. Even though Shelby had been wonderful in including Quinn in milestones in Beth's life. Quinn hadn't been prepared to see too much of it. At least not at first.
She'd done so much research lately; she thought she, they, were so ready, so prepared. Nothing but hubris it turns out. It seemed that Mother Nature and her cohorts would have their way. Ah, test laid plans of mice and men and all that bullshit.
And now, now she just felt angry, and scared. Quinn had long ago made a separate peace with her faith, or her occasional complete lapse or lack thereof. But right now? Right now she was by talking to God, Yahwe, Buddha, Jesus, Mary and Joseph on a raft, or whoever was listening. Praying for all she was worth.
She put her hand on her daughter's shoulder. She was at a loss to comfort her. Which was nothing new. They'd only recently settled into a sort of 'cool aunt' relationship that Shelby had agreed to, even encouraged.
"She just needs to rest, hon. I know it's hard to wait, but we need to let the doctors do their job. Your mother will be right back,."
The girl looked tired, but stubborn.
"I know that. I'm not worried about her right now. I wanna know what's happening with my sister."
The clock on the pale green wall showed it was nearly 2:40 in the morning. She was also extremely anxious to get back to the Rachel's room. But she couldn't let her worry become too overwhelming with Beth here. She wondered if Puck had gotten her message yet.
"Here, I made another set up for the boxes game. You go first."
But the girl wouldn't be pulled into another distraction. She was stubborn that way.
"But I don't wanna play right now. I wanna …"
Abruptly, the door to the waiting room opened. Quinn snapped her head up, hopeful. But instead of any of the blue scrub-clad doctors coming to give her an update, it turned out to be Rachel's fathers, looking as strained as she felt. Beth immediately leapt up and into their waiting arms, hugging for all she was worth. Quinn followed her daughter's instincts, and leaned into the comforting embrace along with her.
"Hiram, Leroy, I'm so glad you're here now. Thank you for coming so quickly. Have your heard from Puck?"
Leroy, Rachel's African-American dad looked pointedly and meaningfully at Rachel's other dad Hiram, and then down at their Beth before addressing her Quinn.
"Yes Quinn, he is on his way as soon as he has a quick shower. I insisted on the shower part. He can't do anything, and at least he'll be more clear-headed and refreshed and more able to help if need be. So. How is she doing, is she.. resting? What did Dr. Westner say?"
Quinn nodded. "Yes, she is resting now, just like the doctors want. I haven't seen Dr. Westner again yet."
She mouthed a silent thank you to Leroy and then to Hiram who had readily taken the hint. He bent down to pick up Beth, talking quietly to her as he carried her out of earshot, effectively distracting her so that Leroy, a doctor himself, could get some more information from Quinn without alarming the little girl.
Quinn hushed her tones somewhat.
"Her levels were elevated much more than they liked. They are checking now. God Leroy. I thought we'd been so careful. No stress. Not even attending rehearsals. She's only just barely at 36 weeks now. Are they going to induce? They are, aren't they?"
"Quinn, sweetheart. The doctors will decide that soon. It was always a possibility once we got the diagnosis. But 36 weeks is a good amount of time in the womb. Especially for twins. You know that."
Quinn's lip quivered and she looked down and to the side, fighting for control. She could barely whisper her throat was so tight with worry and unshed tears.
"I know. I know that… But… It's not the babies I'm worried about now. I know they have to induce. I'm just so scared…for her…for me…Leroy."
He gathered her into his long arms for an even longer hug. "I know sweetheart. I know."
Hiram cleared his throat, and came over with Beth. Leroy bent down to hug the little girl, and Hiram came to hug Quinn, his eyes a little too bright and watery. Beth was treated like a long lost relative in the Berry household. She was technically Rachel's half-sister, but…as convoluted as things had become with Quinn and Rachel, no one really knew what to call her, so they just treated her like a grand-daughter. And Shelby never had any problem with that. She'd always been so grateful and pleased at how the Berry's had handled Rachel's upbringing and the open adoption, she was happy and appreciative and generally overwhelmed in a good way with any influence or love that came her, or Beth's way from the extended Berry household.
"I heard from Shelby and I know you know she is on the way now. We talked, and I'm going to run take Beth home, just for a little bit. We'll be back with a change of clothes and supplies, and a cleaned up Beth. What can I bring for you, Quinn? Food, clothes? Anything?"
"I'm fine Hiram; I have a bag of things in the car I keep at the office. And, well, I'm not very hungry right now. But thank you."
Hiram shook his head, back in control of his emotions, and despite inherent seriousness of the situation, he chuckled.
"Right then. Peanut butter and mayonnaise sammich for Beth, and a bacon and bacon sammich for you."
Quinn let a small smile grace her otherwise worried features, and sighed.
"Well, you know by now that I never turn down bacon. Thank you Hiram. For everything."
"Quinn, anything we can do for you. You know that. Now. We'll have her back quickly as we can."
He looked over Quinn's shoulder and directed further comment to his partner.
"Leroy, can't you grab a staffer or two, have them bring her a blanket and pillow. She needs to get rest if she can don't you think?"
"Of course. I can do better than that. I'll make sure they get the ones they warm up for patients post-op. And I'll make damn sure they get her in to see her as soon as it's possible. Be right back."
Quinn took a deep breath and checked the clock again. It was 3:15 now. Puck would probably be here in an hour. Even speeding, it was at least a half hour drive from Puck's house. And he would have had to back track from his bar on top of that.
Well, at least it would have been past last call when all this started anyway, so he didn't have to worry about losing business at Nick Bottom's Brewpub on top of everything else. Puck had become part of their circle after high school. He'd stayed in Lima of course, but they'd kept touch while she and Rachel were in school. He'd been there for both of them. Through the occasional dramatic fights, through the on again, off again tumultuous fits and starts of Rachel and Quinn's early first years. To his credit (somewhat), he'd only ever tried to get in to either of their pants once or twice when they were having what Hiram and Leroy had (apparently) referred to as 'The Troubles.' Puck had finally given up, and Quinn suspected Santana and Brittany might have had a hand in that, but she wasn't sure, and neither of them was talking.
Whatever had happened, he'd grown up. Somewhat anyway. And now he was no different when it came to this impending birth. He had proven he was much more than a 'donor' with Quinn. He was Beth's biological dad. And after some time, he and Shelby had worked out time for him to visit some. Beth was going to have the quite extensive and odd vocabulary for an Ohio kid. She knew what the word biological meant long before her contemporaries knew, that was for sure. Not to mention having Hiram, Leroy and Rachel as influences in her life.
And, now, Puck was also much more than a 'donor' for this birth as well. He'd of course let the old Puckasaurus erupt initially, declaring he was more than happy to donate his little 'swimmers', just name the time and place, and should he bring wine, or would Quinn and Rachel? And then after the rolled eyes, and the 'are you out of your minds' from Rachel and Quinn, he'd sworn he was just kidding. And they graciously pretended to believe him...
In the end, it hadn't gone like Puck had hoped of course, but there at least there was beer and wine involved after all, as they took him out for a very nice dinner at the microwbrew restaurant he now actually partially owned, after he was done making his deposit at the fertility clinic of course. Alone, barring any pictorial aids the clinic might have provided. And now, in a way, Puck had his own 'baby' to take care of in the pub he ran. Quinn chuckled remembering that night, and how excited Rachel had been about it all, and how funny Puck had been, and the names he'd started working on immediately afterwards. However, neither Guinness, Smithwicks, or even Amber were going to work for baby names. Without hesitation, both Quinn and Rachel assured him he would be as much a part of the baby's life as he wanted to be.
Quinn swallowed at that thought, she tried to ignore the tightening in her chest that was getting worse, because she felt like she was tempting fate by making assumptions about anything in the future right now. She tamped her anxiety back down for the time being.
She even felt a bubble of perhaps inappropriate mirth rise to the surface. Maybe soon, since Rachel was Jewish, Puck's long suffering mother would finally have her technically Jewish grandchildren. Even if it was not quite how she would have pictured it…
That reminded her that she needed to remember to ask Puck if he'd notified his mom of the situation. No need to call her now yet. Nothing she could do anyway. Plus, she was hundreds of miles away at Puck's sister's graduation.
"Quinn, hon, here you go."
Leroy's hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts. She took the pillow from him wordlessly.
"Either Deidre or Vince will be along very shortly with your warmed up blankets. I wouldn't be surprised if they tripped over themselves trying to get them to you. Now, I am insisting, nay, ordering you to sit down, and try to get a little sleep in now. I don't need to be worried about both of you. Also, so you know, the hospital will page me right after they talk to you, so don't worry about trying to get word to me if she wakes up. I'm just one floor away. I'll know before you have time to dig out that computer you call a phone."
Then Beth and Leroy came to give a hug. Beth looked like she could fall asleep on her feet now. She sighed.
"Okay guys, I'll see you all in a little bit. Give me a hug kiddo. I'll tell Rachel you love her." If she wakes up, she flinched as she thought.
Hugs were exchanged. She kissed Beth on the forehead. Then she held her fist out to her. Beth made her little hand into a fist also, and touched her tiny knuckles to her mother's solemnly, and whispered earnestly.
"I love you Quinn. Tell Rachel I love her too. I'm saving part of my sammich for her when she wakes up."
"Okay Boogerhead. I love you too. Don't forget to bring a good book with you when you come back, okay? And don't make me check with whether you brushed your teeth, or I'll tell your mom."
She nodded earnestly.
"Okay I promise Quinn."
She looked at Hiram and Leroy again.
"Thank you both. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Hiram smiled at her. It was a very fond and loving smile. And it made feel a little better about everything somehow.
"Oh, Quinn hon, you've been here before. Maybe not so serious. But you know how to deal with Rachel and adversity. Come to think of, I'll see about maybe brewing some quick honey tea to bring back. I somehow think you're going to need it."
He put his hands on Beth's shoulders, and she looked up at him with questions in her eyes. He turned her used her shoulders to pivot her around to face the exit, stifling any questions for now.
"March kiddo. We need to get some food in you, don't we?"
The two men waved, Leroy put his hand on Hiram's shoulder and squeezed it before he moved to the elevators, giving his partner a loving reassuring look. Hiram's worried face took on a less strained look at that. He turned and smiled at Quinn kindly. They both were doing their level best to hide their natural worry, from both Quinn and Beth. And probably each other. But she appreciated it. And it made her feel marginally better that Leroy, the doctor in the family, did looked less worried than his husband.
She looked around for a 'good' section of seats to try to stretch out on. She didn't think she'd sleep, but she did want to get her feet up for awhile.
Finally, she sat down, running her hands over her face, then her temples, and her cheekbones, trying to ease the ache of long held tension. She experimented with the pillow, and where to put it to avoid getting a crick in her neck. As if on cue, a large matronly woman she assumed was the Deidre that Leroy had mentioned, showed up with the blessedly pre-warmed blanket. She was just covering her feet when a friendly looking man who introduced himself as Vince showed up with two more of the heavenly blankets. Now she could tuck one around her shoulders and midsection, and use the spare to put behind her. She could feel the warmth penetrating her aching shoulder blades already.
Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. It seemed wrong to relax right now. But she was so deeply bone-tired she couldn't help herself. She tried to distract herself with thoughts of Beth. She wondered what books she would bring back with her. She was upset with herself for not having something on hand for her voracious little reader. She was careful not to intrude on 'mom' territory too much, but she and Rachel tended to go overkill in other departments if they could. Beth's library was magnificent. And her music collection? Crazy. Quinn added in the soccer ball, or the cheerleading skirt, or the Frisbee…whatever stage Beth was going through. She tried to be supportive.
And besides, hospitals and reading aloud was practically a Fabray-Berry tradition at this point.
A smile ghosted across her lips, almost delirious in her exhaustion, she drifted off into her memories as she nodded off to sleep.