Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

Giulio Vargas knew he should have been happy. His nipotini were happily married (and only one of them to a nothus). And now he would be a bisnonno!

Lovina and her nothus retired from piracy less than a year ago once she was with child (that stupid nothus). Giulio had received a letter from Feli only a couple of days ago saying that Lovina and the nothus' child was born, but she did not give any more information. Feli said it was going to be a surprise.

Giulio did not particularly like surprises, but he always was prepared to face them—it must be from his military career. He would be happy if it was a boy or a girl. There was one thing Giulio worried about: that the child might be too much like him.

He understood that it was unlikely. There were three generations between the child and him, but the idea still worried him to the bone.

Giulio knocked on the door and shortly afterward the nothus opened the door.

"Hello, old bastard."

"Hello, filthy asshole."

"How is Lovina?"

"She was well before you came."

"Antonio," a voice called from down the hall. "Who is it?"

"The old b—I mean, your Nonno."

"Then send him in, idiota."

The nothus allowed Giulio inside and led him to the room Lovina was inside. The nothus kissed her on the temple.

Giulio stepped forward. "How are you, piccina?" And then he froze.

In Lovina's arms were twin infant boys.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

Antonio glared at the old bastard. Why did Lovi's nonno have to be here? He and Lovi were perfectly happy with their two sons before the old bastard came (they were still deciding on the names. The one that looked like Lovi was probably going to be Aurelio, but Lovi wanted to name the other one (who was just as wonderful) after the old fuckface).

Antonio sighed. Lovi always wanted her nonno and he to get along, so he would have to try. "Can I help you with anything?"

The old bastard looked at him. "May I have a word with you?"

Lovi looked between the two of them, with the twins still in her arms.

"Sí." Antonio led the asshole into another room.

"This is entirely your fault," Giulio growled.

Antonio crossed his arms. "What is?"

The old bastard started pacing and muttering under his breath. "Of course. Of course. Out of all of the possibilities, this had to happen… Twins! Twin boys!" he glared at Antonio. "I blame you."

Antonio threw his arms up in the air. "What do you even blame me for?"

"I blame you for everything that is wrong right now."

"What is wrong?"

The old bastard's eyes narrowed. "You don't have a right to know."

"Why do you hate me so much?" It was more an accusation than anything else.

"What's going on?" Lovi called from the other room.

"Nothing, mi querida~" Antonio answered. He turned back to face her nonno.

"Because you're a filthy pirate bastard."

"I've retired!"

"You think that changes anything?" The old bastard narrowed his eyes. "I know all about your kind. They never change."

"What makes you so sure?" Antonio asked. "I've changed for Lovi."

"People can't change so drastically so soon."

"But what about you?" Antonio challenged. "I know you were il Mortale Cesare, the ruler of the seas, but then you became a part of the military, right? Didn't you change?"

Giulio snorted. "Don't believe change is so simple, because it's not."

"Then why don't you explain?"

"It's a long story."

"I can listen to the entire thing," Antonio insisted.

The old man stopped to think for a while. "…Fine. But we'll need alcohol, and a place away from Lovina. There are some things that I do not want her to know."

"And the alcohol?"

"What do you think it's for, idiota? Drawing up the buried memories."

Antonio's brow furrowed slightly. He walked into the room that Lovi was in. "Your nonno and I our going out, mi amor, will you be alright on your own with the boys?"

She nodded. "Si, but where are you two going?"

"To talk, and maybe to get a drink or two."

Lovi gave him a look. "Do you promise not to kill each other or to try to kill each other?"

Antonio grinned. "You have no need to worry, mi todo." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

Her face flared. "J-just go already!"

He laughed. "Your wish is my command, Lovi~"

After one stonily silent walk to the local bar, the old bastard was already on his fifth glass of rum.

Antonio took a sip of his (he was still on his first). "Are you going to tell me anything, or did we just come here so you can replace all your innards with rum?"

Giulio snorted. "Please. In my younger days I could've drunk this stuff like water."

"Could have?"

"It doesn't mean I did," the bastard retorted. "I had to stay sharp at all times. Even when I was flat on my ass drunk I had to be in complete control." He sighed. "One of the lower costs of ruling the seas."

"And there were other higher ones?"

"I'm getting there," the old man snapped. He stopped to think. "How shall I start?"

"I would assume with the beginning."

Giulio gave him a look (ah, that was where Lovi got it from). "If you keep being a smart ass, I'll tell Lovina that you want to replace all of your tomato gardens with rotten potatoes, because you like them better."

Antonio raised his hands and gestured to show his silence.

The old bastard nodded. "That's more fucking like it. I suppose I should first tell you that my name is not Giulio Vargas, but rather Romulus Cesare." He downed the rest of his glass and ordered another. He leaned back into his chair and mumbled under his breath. "Now where was I born..?"

Antonio sighed and downed his glass as well. Just what exactly was he getting himself into?

A/N: And here is the beginning of my pirate!Rome! Finally! (This took too long). But, now that it is officially started, I should be better about actually writing it.

For those of you who would like to know, this story is set about two years after one of my pirate!Spain, "Of Pirates and CrossDressing Runaways," even though the actual story (Giulio's) happens before. This one should make sense without having read the other, but if something seems strange, feel free to ask me for an explanation! (Or you could read the other one, that would be cool, too).

Thank you in advance to everyone who favorites, follows, or reviews! These things are more awesome than Prussia's awesome broom-guitar skills!