Disclaimer: Lea Valdez doesn't own Gravity Falls or Doctor Who
The Pines family hadn't really expected Dipper all those years ago when the twins were born. But they had expected Mabel. Jason and Kristen Pines had already picked out a name for their daughter, set up her room, and bought everything they would need for the first 5 months of Mabel living there.
So it was a very big surprise when in the hospital room, Kristen told the doctors, "Wait, I-I think I feel another one."
It was so impossible that a twin brother managed to get past all the technology that goes into finding the babies in the mother's womb, so all the doctors were pretty peeved that they didn't know. Sure enough, 5 minutes later, the little boy came out while Mabel was fast asleep in her father's arms.
Kristen was kind of worried. She and her husband were so sure that it was only Mabel, and they hadn't even considered boy names. She took a deep breath and made her decision. Her husband had made the choice on Mabel's name and wouldn't let her change it, so she should get to choose her new son's name.
Doctor Mavis gently lowered her surprise son into her arms. Kristen smiled a small little smile at the oddly shaped birthmark on his head. One that reminded her of the star-gazing she used to do with her own mother.
"Hey there little guy, I'm gonna call you-"
"DIPPER! Come down here right now! The new season of Doctor What is airing right now!" Dipper Pines, 12 year old paranormal investigator extraordinaire, sighed as his twin sister Mabel called him downstairs from the attic.
Mabel had recently gotten obsessed with an old show from their Grunkle Stan's time as a kid, called Doctor Where, and the producers decided that it would be a good idea to rewrite the entire show, with another time traveling Doctor, called Doctor What. Mabel seemed to think that all the doctors were very attractive and had instantly become a little Whovian.
Dipper...not so much.
"Mabel, I want to go to bed! It's almost 10:30!"
"But I want you to watch it with me! Just the first episode, then you won't have to watch any others! Scout's Honor!" Mabel shouted to him. Shoulders slumping in defeat, Dipper walked down the stairs to the living where Mabel and her pet pig Waddles were waiting eagerly for the show to start.
The theme song for Doctor What came on, and Mabel and Waddles started squealing in delight. Dipper rolled his eyes. Sometimes his sister and that pig were so alike, he was starting to wonder if they were related.
While watching, Dipper actually kind of enjoyed the new season, which was much better than the corny old version. The Doctor was pretty cool and his TARDIS was even cooler. When it was over, Mabel turned to ask him something.
"Did you like it?"
Dipper replied, "It was good, I'll probably watch the next episode."
"HUZZAH! Mission Get Dipper to Like Doctor What is successful!" Dipper rolled his eyes amusedly.
"What up dudes?" came a voice from the hall.
"Hey Soos." "Hi Soos." the twins greeted their co-worker.
"So I heard you guys are watching Doctor What, I used to love Doctor Where when I was a kid." Soos said excitedly.
Dipper looked at Soos curiously. "Do you know what the Doctor's real name is? I haven't really been following."
Soos stroked his chin trying to remember. "Oh yeah, the dude's name is Galifianakis or something...hey Dipper, what's your real name? You've never told any of us." Soos asked.
Dipper and Mabel shared a very secretive look, like they knew something important that Soos didn't. Soos was starting to get weirded out, until Mabel finally replied, "Some things just have to stay a secret Soos. Trust me, you're never going to get it out of us." Dipper nodded his agreement.
"It's all good dudes, you don't have to tell me."
However, on the inside, Soos really wanted to know.
"Maybe Wendy will help me. I bet she's been wondering too."
"Soos, this is literally too stupid for me to care."
Wendy was sitting behind the counter, reading the latest edition of Indie Fuzz while sipping a Pitt Cola from a straw.
"Aw come on Wendy! Don't tell me that you don't want to know!" Soos had gone to see Wendy before she left in the hopes that she would help him find out Dipper's real name, but so far, Wendy wasn't all that convinced.
"Soos, why do you want to know so bad? It's none of your business if he doesn't want anyone to know."
"But Wendy! Dipper and I are p-terodactyl bros! We're supposed to not keep secrets from each other. For example, did you know that my full name is Jesus Alzimirano Ramirez?"
Wendy looked pretty shocked. "Really? I had no idea Soos. Though what does this have to do with you wanting to know Dipper's real name?"
"Dipper knows my full name! It's only fair that I know his!"
Wendy pretended to stroke a beard she didn't have. "Well, I guess I could help you figure it out. But only because I've wondered since he told me Dipper was only a nickname."
"YES! Thanks hambone! Together, we can figure out the mystery that is Dipper's real name!"
Soos exclaimed excitedly.
"This better be worth it, you're totally messing up the relaxation part of my schedule." Wendy muttered from her position.
"How do you want to go about this exactly? I mean, we can't just go up to Dipper and ask, 'Hey, we've been wondering what your real name is and even though you don't want to tell us, we're still going to assault you with questions until we get it out of you." Wendy stated sarcastically.
Soos was deep in thought. "Why don't we ask Mr. Pines? Maybe he'll know, I mean he is their great uncle."
"That might work, but what if he's in on the secretness behind Dipper's name too?"
"Then we'll just have to figure out something different." Soos answered. "Come on, let's go find Mr. Pines."
As it turned out, they didn't need to. Mr. Pines found them first.
"Hey, what are you two slackers doing here and not out there in the gift shop?" Stan demanded.
Wendy nervously replied, "Nothing, but we just wanted to ask you a little question."
Stan crossed his arms over his chest, "Fire away, I don't have all day. Hey, that rhymed."
Soos asked, "Mr. Pines, do you know what Dipper's real name is?"
Stan's face immediately went from relaxed to guarded. "Sorry Soos, but that is a Pines family secret that we all intend to keep."
"Aw come on Mr. Pines! Why is it so important and secretive?" Wendy complained
"Beats me, all I know is that the kid's parents didn't want me to tell anyone. And it's none of your business."
Soos sighed. "Please, I thought you considered me part of the family. At least give me a hint?"
Stan's hard expression softened a little bit. Deep down, everyone knew that Soos was like the son Stan never had, no matter how hard he tried not to make it obvious. "Oh.. I guess I could give you a hint-"
"Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. Pines!" Soos proclaimed excitedly Wendy rolled her eyes at his childishness.
Stan grunted. "Slow down Soos, alright, his name starts with M and that's all I'm going to tell you."
"Are you sure that this is the right thing to do? Stan said this was a good idea and that in itself tells me that it's not." Wendy said to Soos while he was concocting the next phase of operation.
The next person that they could ask was Mabel, but both Wendy and Soos knew that she wasn't going to be as lenient with hints as Mr. Pines.
So, Soos got the great idea to make some Mabel Juice and slip some into Mabel's next drink to get her to talk. Mabel Juice seemed to have the same properties as alcohol, but it was much safer and kid friendly. It would loosen Mabel's tongue and and hopefully get her to spill something about Dipper's name.
"Mr. Pines said this was a good idea, we should probably try it. I'm like 87.3% sure that this will work."
"Why so specific numbers?" Wendy asked, wondering where Soos got his percentage from.
"I don't know, I just came up with that in my head, I have no clue if this is going to work." Soos said with silly girin on his face. "Get me the grape juice."
Grape juice was the only juice dark enough to mask the pink color of Mabel Juice, Soos was sure of it. When Wendy finally brought over the dark purple juice, Soos poured 6 ultra-shots of Mabel juice into it, ensuring that his plan would would work.
"What'cha doing Soos?" Mabel asked as she came into the kitchen.
"Oh uh, h-hey hambone! W-what are you doing down here?" Soos spoke nervously.
Mabel looked thoughtful. "Weeeell, I came downstairs for a drink, but I can't decide on Grape Juice or Mabel Juice."
Wendy intervened. "Then you came to the right place! Soos and I were just working on a drink that is a mix of Mabel Juice and Grape Juice!" Wendy finished with a winning smile.
"REALLY!? That's just what I need right now! Gimme some! Please!" Mabel pleaded.
Wendy pretended to think about it. "I suppose that you could try some of our awesome concoction."
Before Wendy could even finish her sentence, Mabel was already downing the glass.
"WOO! Thisstuffisgreat! I'mtalkingsofast, itkindoftasteslikegrapejuicewithalotoftanginesstoit!"
Soos laughed, "I'm glad that you like it Mabel! But can you please talk slower, I couldn't hear anything that you just said."
"OKAY!" Mabel screamed.
"So Mabel, now that we've given you some of our special drink, you're going to have to repay us by answering one single question." Wendy said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"HIT ME!" Mabel yelled. Soos took that as the sign to ask.
"What is Dipper's real name?"
"Can't tell you." Mabel said with a smirk on her face before calmly walking back upstairs.
"I can't believe that that didn't work!" Soos exclaimed. "And why did Mabel suddenly go so calm like that?"
"Well, there's only one person left to ask, Dipper Pines." Wendy sighed.
"We have to come up with a plan before we approach him, otherwise he'll run off like a frightened animal." Soos stated.
Wendy suddenly straightened up. "I have a plan, but I don't like it. This might be our last chance though."
Soos nodded. "Just do it, this is our last shot at ever finding out."
Dipper was watching an old re-run of Doctor Where with his sister, when Wendy called him up to her secret place on the roof.
As he made his way up the ladder, he thought about what happened a while ago. While the expedition in the bunker had been over a week ago, he still felt awkward talking to his old crush.
"What can I help you with Wendy?" Dipper asked curiously. Wendy looked at him really hard.
"All day, Soos and I have been obsessing over figuring out your real name, but all we've come up with is a bust. We tried asking Stan and Mabel, but those both didn't quite work out, and now, Soos wants me to ask you. But the thing is, I just realized how silly this all really is, and that if you don't want to tell me your name, then you don't have to." Wendy said, a little awkwardly.
Dipper really didn't want to tell her, he vowed to himself many years ago that no one should ever find out, but Wendy was here, confessing what she'd done all day when she could have been doing something more productive. He didn't want she and Soos' search to be for nothing.
"Marvel. My real name is Marvel Jason Pines. I didn't really want to tell anyone because as a kid, people always made fun of my birthmark, but finally they accepted it, and I didn't want to ruin that acceptance. Everybody knew me as Dipper Pines, and I wasn't about to change that."
Wendy looked really conflicted about something, but finally said, "Gwendolyn Linda Corduroy is my full name, but no one has called me Gwendolyn since…" She trailed off.
"Since what?"
"Since my mom died." Wendy finally said. "She was the only one who ever called me that and when she was gone, I made sure that no one else did."
Dipper looked at Wendy in sympathy. "I'm so sorry Wendy, I had no idea."
Wendy brushed it off. "Nah, don't worry about it. It was years ago anyway."
Dipper gave Wendy a small smile, that, after a moment, she returned.
"Call me Marvel, and you're dead."
"Call me Gwendolyn and you'll wish you'd never been born."
Wendy walked over to Soos who was sitting in the gift shop eagerly waiting for her response.
"So, did it work?"
Wendy had hoped that her acting skills had been up to scratch. But she didn't regret telling Dipper her real name.
Wendy was about to tell Soos, but then she thought of the trust that Dipper must have put in her to tell her his biggest secret.
"Oh that. Well Dipper didn't tell me either, so that was a complete waste of the day."
Soos looked disappointed. "Well, I guess I can't know everything."
Wendy looked off into the distance. "I guess you can't."
"So what did Wendy want with you?" Mabel asked when Dipper came back from his heart to heart talk.
Dipper felt really mad at himself for revealing one of the best kept secrets in the century, but he didn't actually feel any regret to telling Wendy. And the fact that Wendy told him her real name, and something so personal that she hadn't even told anyone else, made him want to keep the conversation private.
"You know Mabel, she just wanted to introduce herself."