Earliest Day
Rating: PG
Category: POV (Anakin), angst!
Setting: after events at Naboo
Summary: Anakin's love for his mom.
Spoilers: a few for TPM
Feedback: Oy! sleeperdown@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.dreamwater.net/pottedcactus/erjika
Archive: Yes!
Disclaimer: Don't own em, no moolah for moi. Poem is the first verse from "An Hour With Thee" by Sir Walter Scott.
AN: First in a mini-trilogy about Anakin dealing with three different kinds of love. Like all my stuff, it can also be read stand-alone.
An hour with thee! When earliest day
Dapples with gold the eastern grey,
Oh, what can frame my mind to bear
The toil and turmoil, cark and care,
New griefs, which coming hours unfold,
And sad rememberance of the old?
One hour with thee.
I stare out the window of the transport. Only the third time I've been in hyperspace, and I'm sick of it already. Zipping around the galaxy isn't as great as I thought it would be. It's always cold, colder than the desert nights. I wrap my new cloak around me, a smaller version of my master's.
My master. Master Kenobi. He shouldn't have been my master! It was supposed to be Master Jinn, not his own padawan. My master doesn't even like me. Tears form in my eyes, but I brush them angrily away. They will do me no good. I am a Jedi, and Jedi don't need tears.
I'm sorry, Mom. You told to never look back, but I keep doing just that.
I miss her so much. I thought I could handle it; I mean, all Jedi have been separated from their families, I should be able to handle it, too. But I can't. Just the little things would remind me of her. How she would tuck me in when I had nightmares, how she would give me hugs when I was angry, how she would ruffle my hair whenever I talked about a new project, how... how she would sit by the table when she thought I was sleeping, and she would stare out the window with the saddest look in her eyes.
A lot like what I'm doing right now.
I miss her, even if she didn't want me to. If only I could have spent more time with her... but no. My future is with Master Kenobi and the Jedi, not with my regrets.
The blackness outside the window matches my mood. I'll have to shield so Master won't sense what I'm feeling.
I curl up underneath the cloak. It's so cold.
~finis~