AN: Guys this is my first fic, and after all, I am the queen a shitty fanfiction. So, have some shitty fanfiction.
And yes, the story is named after the Macklemore song 'And We Danced.' Also, this prologue was based on this post/139606983279/ferninism-where-is-the-au
Gilbert shook his head at the newspaper in his hand. He couldn't believe that he was actually about to call the number listed in the ad that read "Flatmate wanted: No heterosexuals." As embarrassing as it was, he honestly needed a place to live. He had bummed the couch at Ludwig's place for far too long. Taking a deep breath, Gilbert dialed the number.
"Allo?" a lazy voice answered.
"Um...I'm calling about the flatmate ad in the paper?" Gilbert said.
"Ah. Are you heterosexual?" the voice asked.
"No...that's kind of why I'm calling," Gilbert stated.
"Well, you can move in whenever," and with that, the line went dead.
"Ludwig, I found a place to live!" Gilbert yelled as he crashed through the door of his little brother's flat. Ludwig looked up from the book he was reading.
"Oh, really? And were would that be? With your Hungarian girlfriend?" Ludwig asked skeptically.
"She's not my girlfriend, and no. I found an ad in the paper," Gilbert told his brother, while retrieving a beer from the fridge.
"Gilbert. You found an ad in the paper advertising a place to live...and you decided that it was the right choice to make? Do you even know the people that you'll be dealing with?" Ludwig had put his book down and was staring at his brother with his arms crossed and a firm look of disapproval on his face.
"No, Ludwig. I don't know the people I'll be living with. But that's half the fun, isn't it? I'll be living in a new place and making new friends," Gilbert said, happily, and took a swig from his beer.
"What if these people are drug dealers or pyromaniacs or something like that?" Ludwig inquired.
"Like I said, Luddy. It adds to the fun. I'm moving in later today, actually, so I just need to gather my shit," Gilbert informed his brother, and then moved to prepare his solitary box of belongings for his departure.
Three hours later, Gilbert was standing outside of his new home. He took a breath an then knocked on the door. He heard shouting behind the chipping blue paint, and then the door burst open.
Standing before him was a very dark, very energetic man wearing only a bra and a towel.
"Hola! Are you the new flatmate?" this man practically yelled.
"I guess. Were you the guy I spoke to on the phone?" Gilbert asked, cringing away from the man's loud voice.
"Oh, no! That was Franny. Come in! Come in!" the said pulling Gilbert in by his arm.
"I'm Antonio, by the way, and that's Francis," Antonio told Gilbert, gesturing to a vaguely human silhouette that was halfway concealed by a door.
"Franny! Our new flatmate is here!" Antonio yelled.
"I'll be there in a moment, love!" the silhouette yelled back.
"So what's your name anyway?" Antonio asked, leading Gilbert to a couch, and pushing him down.
"I'm Gilbert. Are you and Francis...dating, fucking, what's going on there? And why are you wearing a bra?" Gilbert asked, eager to learn something about his new home. Antonio laughed.
"No, Franny and I are not dating, and we only occasionally fuck. And I'm wearing a bra because I'm a drag queen. And so is Francis. And we have to go to work soon," Antonio explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Gilbert was sitting in a fascinated stupor when Francis finally appeared. Gilbert stared up at his flatmate in awe. He would be lying if he said that Francis wasn't the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life.
Francis stood in front of Gilbert in all of his splendor with nearly waist-length blond hair that was curled into soft waves. He wore a black halter crop top and a cheetah-print miniskirt. His thigh-high socks were held up black garters and his feet were neatly tucked into heeled combat boots. His lipsticked lips smiled sweetly at Gilbert.
"Hello, dear. I'm Francis. And you're very pretty," Francis purred and lightly dragged his dark red fingernail down Gilbert's cheek.
Gilbert just sat there in a silent stupor as Antonio and Francis began to chatter away about something, and all he could think was 'what the fuck have I done?'
To be continued...?