MOMMY ISSUES
So here's the thing: Katherine has always reminded him of his mother. Part of my SWB Initiative.
Mommy issues.
I mean, I've heard of people with daddy issues. Usually from those people themselves, while they're crying about their lives and I'm scratching my head as I try to figure out how to get them to leave.
But mommy issues? Me?
Yeah, right.
Actually, Caroline might just be right.
I know she only shouted that when she was pissed at me because of…well, something. You can't expect me to remember. But maybe Blondie's got it right. Maybe I really do have mommy issues.
It would explain why I fell for Katherine in the first place. Katherine, you lovely, beautiful, psychotic bitch. When I first met her, she reminded me so much of Mother – joyful, energetic, brave, someone with an actual voice who said what she wanted, when she wanted. Mother was all those things. She was somewhat irresistible, someone you couldn't help but gravitate towards, if only to know who the hell this bright young woman is. I mean - was. Whatever.
The servants used to tell me that Mother was scandalous, to say the least. She played with girls and boys. She wore skirts and pants, as and when she wanted to. She said what she wanted and was never sorry for it. She went to dances and she went to council meetings. She was pretty and smart; beauty and brains, something Mystic Falls had never encountered before her. In fact, they were clueless when it came to Mother. They just didn't know whether to love her or hate her; to admire her or look down on her.
In short, she was like Katherine. Or maybe Katherine was like her.
Whatever it is, that must be why I fell for Katherine. Because she reminded me of my mother. Without the psychotic bitch part, of course.
Oh, shit. Blondie might actually be right.
And what about the part where I fought Stefan over Katherine?
That's so not me. I mean, back in the day, Stefan was hopeless. He probably would've ended up in an arranged marriage if not for Katherine. And that's exactly why I should've just left Katherine to him, like I did with all those other girls when we were growing up.
I, obviously, never did have trouble with the ladies. Most of them had trouble with me after I'd dated them, but until then, no lady could resist me. (Except Katherine. And Elena. Not to mention Judgey. Shit, this isn't looking good.) So whenever I was with a lady Stefan liked, I'd push her to him, hoping like hell that my little brother would just man up and find someone he could love.
And when he did find someone – Katherine, in fact – I fought him for her. Years of pushing girls to him and the one he does like, I have to have.
This is just so typical.
Obviously, my recently-acknowledged mommy issues are to blame for this, not me. If only Katherine hadn't been so much like Mother, I wouldn't have been so fascinated by her in the first damn place.
On the downside, I would've been dead by now.
Which, you know, sucks.
This mommy issues crap explains so much.
Like why I got so angry when I found out Stefan was with Katherine too. And that time I caught them together. Oh, not to mention that time Katherine was all, I never loved you, Damon, it was Stefan. Sucks to be you.
So, if I'm gonna be all psychological about this, I would say that losing Katherine to Stefan dredged up my mommy issues because it was like losing my mother all over again, when Stefan was born. And that even though I don't blame him for that (it's true, I don't; I blame the bad medical care back then. I mean, giving birth at home? Who came up with that?), my subconscious does and yada yada yada.
Whatever. I'm not good at this psychology crap.
Long story short, losing Katherine to Stefan was like losing Mother to Stefan. And I wasn't gonna let that happen again. Or something along those lines.
Damn it. Imagine all of the crap I would've gotten away with if I had this mommy issues bullshit to use as an excuse.
Whatever. I get away with most of my crap as it is.
I feel like a real idiot now.
And a douche.
But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna start being humble or apologize to Stefan or stuff. I'll just go, Hey Stef, turns out I've got mommy issues. And that's why I did what I did! Great, huh?
Damn, I really did do a lot of shit. What about that time I almost killed Judgey? Or that time I kinda killed her grandma? Let's not forget the many ways I epically screwed up when it came to all Katherine-related matters.
Mommy, you're responsible for all this. I hope you're happy, wherever you are.
But seriously, if I'm going to have mommy issues, I want to point out that it isn't my fault, and neither is the entire mess all of us are going through now.
Falling in love with Katherine was totally because she reminded me of my dynamic and vibrant mother, whom I had never seen in that light because she had always been very motherly and proper in my presence.
Wanting Katherine all to myself, hating Stefan and fighting with Stefan was, once again, a replay of losing Mother, because now I realize that I do blame Stefan for Mother's death. I blame him for taking away Mother and I blamed him for taking away Katherine.
Coming back to Mystic Falls for Elena was another mistake, but maybe I can pin that one on Katherine. But technically, if not for my issues, I wouldn't have taken Katherine's 'death' so hard and so I wouldn't even be interested in the fact that there's a girl in Mystic Falls who looks exactly like Katherine. Hmm…
Whatever. I guess Blondie was right, even if she did just scream this to piss me off. Maybe I need therapy. You see, doc, the thing is, if not for my mommy issues, I probably would've ignored the vampire Katherine, and so I would've died a human. And I never would've gotten all caught up in this crap with Katherine's doppelganger, Elena, who's dating Stefan. And this Klaus guy, who's the most powerful vampire ever. Did I mention that he's gonna massacre the entire town? Yeah, might wanna consider moving, doc.
But we've got bigger things right now than my personal crisis. We've got lots of things right now. Though I'm definitely sending Stefan to therapy after all this. I mean, he's basically been dating the same woman his whole life. The sad part is that he's lived for like a hundred and fifty years and has only ever dated two women... who are practically the same person anyway. And they're related.
And I thought I had issues.
I just want everyone to know that I'd offer refunds if I could. Alas, I have no mastery over time.
E Salvatore,
April 2011.
The Screw Writer's Block Initiative (SWB Initiative) is open to everyone – and I mean everyone – who's ever won against writer's block. And if you're battling it right now…well, you've got perfect timing! Focus on a small plot bunny that just won't leave you alone and write a one-shot of your choice. Be sure to mention the Initiative or SWB Initiative. Come on, let's kick writer's block's a$$!