If
Nothing Else…Love…
charminghay@aol.com
Slowly the stars rained down on me. The tiny flashes of silver surrounded my
body and ignited my soul. They defied gravity and carried my body through time
and space. An eternal strength that only the infinity of death could produce.
Each single fragment cast light into my eyes and opened them to a world where
nothing but love triumphed.
All physical strength and attributes were left behind and just the purist of
feelings in the soul were carried away from earth. Love. My love for my
sisters; the bond that only we could ever share. My love for Andy; buried deep
and suppressed for so long, now finally permitted to be released. My love for
Darryl and Leo; barely recognised and never admitted, but always there.
I wish I'd said it more often. I wish I'd had the strength to look people in
the eyes, hold their hands and whisper for only them and eternity to hear.
I love you
The years I spent on earth. The hours I busied myself with work. The minutes I
wasted with a masked face. The seconds I let pass with petty arguments. The
miniscule fragments of time that I wasted and didn't say those dreaded three
words.
Three words that suddenly meant the world and the ever after.
I was nothing as a mortal being. I was seldom true to myself and the people I
cared about. I could stand tall and protect them; I could look death directly
in the face and pretend not to be fearful; I could die for my love for them.
But I couldn't walk up to my sisters, envelope them in my arms and give them
the only words they ever wanted to hear. So many years passed, wasted with
petty comments and unexpressed love. Only when I could, I never said it enough.
Ironic really. Retrospect always gives the right answers, just that little
bit too late.
If I could right now, I'd give the world my heart and soul. I'd grab a child's
hand and give them everything I know. I'd give them a list of everything I'd
learnt from life. I'd give them this:
Don't be afraid to love.
Let those feelings of ecstasy overtake your body and rejoice, don't run.
Follow your heart and not your mind.
Be true to yourself and that means following those butterflies in your
stomach.
Hold every hand you can.
And give tender kisses to everyone your heart wishes.
Never stare death in the face and be outwardly strong.
It's better to be fearful and receive help, than to pretend to be strong and
be silently afraid alone.
Always tell the people you love, that you love them.
Before you don't have a chance to say a single word again.