Title: Pale fingers
Author: 21st century kid
Rating: T
Genre: Romance, angst
Pairing: Roxas/Fuu
Summary: And he doesn't know where he is going now.
i.
Fuu's hair is silver and short and it hides her left eye. She is not ugly even though others say so; still they say so, isn't it silly - they just hate her.
Because hate and love kiss each other on the battlegrounds, Roxas noticed once that he likes the one he hates - do you think it's impossible? He proved it was possible.
His fingers are freezing (because it is winter and it's cold) and suddenly he notices (when he is outside) that there are too many stars in Fuu's eyes and he wants closer to them.
And he knows that he should keep his mouth shut.
ii.
Because heroes do not love evils, Roxas has a problem in his hands.
He cries himself to sleep at nights and loathes her at days.
But even though he'd laugh through days, shout unspoken strange mist over nights, nothing changes - he has a crush on her; on his worst enemy's girl who looks at him, loathing (just like he looks at her).
Sometimes she smiles at him and he never forgets those smiles (even though he wants to). They see each other in the library, on the streets and at school and every time Roxas looks but doesn't see. Her hair is like snow and even though Roxas watches her, no one notices; Roxas couldn't fall in love with Fuu. It's one of those stubborn facts of life.
iii.
They are in the last year at school; everyone knows where they are going to go and the ones that don't know are sitting in the corners during those conservations. Roxas knows that Fuu doesn't want to be a police. But he does.
He dreams at nights; when Fuu is a criminal and he is a good and just police, he captures her and cages her - and then Fuu notices his muscular arms, soft smile and falls in love, returns to the good side and is ready to love Roxas with all her heart.
Then he dreams of loneliness; he realizes that dreams are not going to happen.
Later he sees Fuu at school and laughs, she gets confused and counts her nails.
iv.
It's night already and there is a shared bathroom for girls and boys at school.
It's meant for the students who don't go home at weekends, but no one uses it (especially not the students who don't go home at weekends).
But tonight it is used.
Roxas comes from his training to take a shower - but oh dear, the bathroom is not empty. There is a girl in the bathtub, her hair is like a mermaid's and there is froth on her breasts and Roxas looks (but the girl screams).
Fuu doesn't smile but looks at Roxas, eyes narrowing, her arms are wrapped around her chest. Roxas says that he didn't mean to (but he didn't not mean either), he thought the bathroom was empty (Fuu remembers she forgot to lock the door).
Roxas doesn't leave even though he should - he smiles like a person in love and walks closer to the girl who is not his. He looks.
v.
Water is chill, but there are soap bubbles Fuu loves.
She wants to sink deeper into the bathtub, fall asleep in her dreams but the boy interrupts her (and he doesn't leave even though he should).
Even though one shouldn't lie to oneself, Fuu still lies. She lies - I forgot to lock the door; I don't want to kiss him; I don't love anybody.
But still she kisses. She kisses him even though she should never, ever do it. Still.
vi.
Roxas doesn't understand.
He never does, but this time it's different.
At first she kissed him.
Now she doesn't even look at him.
At first she kissed him.
It was interesting, there was only the bathtub, froth and the two of them - Fuu sank her nails into his skin. But they parted after it. Roxas cried, and cried and cried cried cried, but nothing helps.
Once at night - when he is alone, it always hurts too much - he plays with a knife and then laughs at his own stupidity (and plays more). But still every night he is as alone as back then and he doesn't laugh anymore.
vii.
Scissors are heavy when Fuu carries them out of her room.
They are not hers.
She never breaks - she never breaks herself because of some boy.
But someone broke and she has to protect her friends - she has to take the scissors away.
She doesn't understand boys. At first he wanted her; later not anymore. Roxas never looks at Fuu (it hurts even though she doesn't admit it).
She doesn't always want to be alone, she wants someone who would hold her so she wouldn't have to cry herself to dreams like lonely people do. Because she is not lonely. How would anyone dare to claim so?
viii.
When Roxas doesn't come to school, his friends are worried but he doesn't care. He worries anyone he wants - he can control himself, can't he. And he can play with knives at nights because he is in love. In love, in love, in love.
And Fuu's hair is the most silver, silver silver, so silver and Roxas wants to see. She has a perfect nose and bright eyes, red lips Roxas wants to kiss again again again.
Sometimes he uses to sit on the floor, kill time and listen how people are in a hurry.
And he doesn't know where he is going now.
ix.
She wants to be lost and found, a princess and especially Roxas' and Roxas would bring her roses after work. Her fingers are pale, they want to hold Roxas until he wants her, takes her and kisses her forever.
She longs; she laughs at days and shouts at nights, turns her look to Seifer and tries to forget and fails miserably. It hurts and it hurts until she gives up.
She gives up the hope that Roxas would talk to her. She hopes so much, fears more and sees.
She sends a letter.
x.
The meeting of the two that have almost given up the hope, the ones who dreamed and thought that the other would do what they didn't dare to do themselves, waited for their tomorrow.
Later Fuu is proud that she did it; she proved her bravery to the boy who had stolen a place in her heart and that place was too deep.
Roxas is not proud that he didn't do anything, but he is proud of million tears and scars on his skin and dreams that are coming true.
They meet on the streets and run to each other's arms like in the movies, just because it is beautiful and they kiss forever and unite because they don't want to be without one another and then they love.